Wednesday, December 31, 2008

AN ICE COLD RACE

The last race of the year sounds like a good idea, if you live in Florida or something like that. In Iowa, not so much. It was 4 degrees outside at 9:00 a.m. when I ran my race. The gravel trail where we ran parts of our race on was partly covered by snow and ice. And not all of the ice was thin and crunchy, the stuff that you can keep upright on. Some of the ice was in sheets, shiny like glass. In one area there was a frozen puddle that was more the size of a small pond. It looked like a good ice skating rink but dangerous to run on.

True, it was supposed to be a fun run or whatever that is, but who goes for "fun runs" when it's 4 degrees out. Apparently quite a few people. When I went to warm up outside about 40 minutes before the race, there was no one else. There was a lot of people warming up on the indoor track at the rec center, but I prefer not to run around 200m elipses over and over and over. Instead I ran around a parking lot in multiple layers. I figured I might as well get used to it before the race.

When we actually gathered for the race, we were told that we had the option of running inside around the track and no one would make fun of us for not wanting to run outside (wimps). We had to take multiple pictures and get told that it was only a "fun run" and not a real race (which is a total lie) before we could actually start the race. There was no official starting line and we were just yelled at to go which allowed me to start towards the front. Less than 400m from where we started we had to cross a busy street. I stopped because I didn't want to get hit by a car but this idiot little kid who looked about 10, ran in front of the car. A few cars later an adult, probably the kids dad, raced in front of the cars. I waited until there was no potential collision waiting to happen before I crossed the street and ran across the frosty field (where I passed the idiot little kid).

The next part of my race was running 3 laps around the trail at the park which happens to be the site of my home xc course. I haven't really ran around the trail before, only parts of it, but everywhere I looked I found more memories of practices and races even though we were running around the course backwards. There was the bridge that constantly contained people even during a race, the always muddy spot where people slip near the evergreens, and the slight hill that never fails in tiring you out.

On the first lap I realized I had started out way too fast. I should've started out slower but I was so caught up in racing and beating a bunch of guys, especially the ones in the matching outfits, that I sprinted. While going up the slight hill, the one that always tires me out, I found that a 5k is longer than you think. I hit the downhill and I felt a lot better even though I almost fell on an icy corner. At least the guy behind me didn't laugh. I also got a compliment on my knee socks, my incredibly luck red and black ones that I specially chose for my race. This was by a volunteer but I had gotten another one earlier from the only female to beat me.

On the second lap, after that little hill, I began thinking of excuses I could tell others, but mostly myself, as to why I completely sucked during this race. I had only let a few people pass me but I was slowing way down and my legs were getting tired. I thought the cold, tired legs, maybe an ache here or there could convince people that it really wasn't my fault I slowed down so much and completely lost the race. When I started passing the familiar xc spots I realized I was a complete idiot. If I sucked, it was my fault, the same as it was if I rocked. This was when my legs started feeling better although they might have finally been going numb. Somebody passed me right after that but I was ready to finish my race.

The third lap was hard but I was in my zone. I concentrated on picking up the pace and efficiently dodging ice. Near a large ice puddle, an man wearing a winter coat that was open and flying back in the wind, passed me. At first I couldn't figure out why he was racing me, I thought he was just exercising on the trail like some walkers I had passed. He was actually in the race though, because he followed the path I was running. I didn't see him before or after the race, and I'm not sure he did all the laps (you didn't have to but those who didn't, wimps) but he kind of freaked me out. Everyone else who had passed me, although not as colorful, were wearing all the right running gear. Speaking of which, I saw many people wearing the running tights without shorts over them. At my school and all the others I've seen, you wear shorts over the tights. Without the shorts, you remind me of an annoying girl on the team who likes to show off as much skin in tight clothes as possible. Also, it's just gross.

After my third lap and running across the open field behind the coat dude, we had to stop at a stoplight. It was there I met up with one pair of guys who were wearing matching clothes, the college aged ones. I was very close to them before the light and would've passed them if we hadn't had to stop but I liked the look on their faces when they saw a girl was close to beating them. Once the light changed, I ran behind them for a bit so they would forget about me. Then I slowly sped up, although I was very tired, so I was running beside them. One of the guy kept giving me looks but I sprinted for the non existant finish line.

I ended up beating them, but then sitting beside them while I won no door prizes (they both won backpacks). Most of the prizes were strange but I got Gatorade and 2 waters. It was red Gatorade, which I don't really like, but I was fast enough so that I didn't have to drink the yellow, pure disgusting sugar Gatorade. I also got a pink colored energy gel that looks like something they eat (or drink?) at the Tour de France. Since I don't plan on riding up the Alps at 30mph anytime soon, I don't think the gel will be used. My tie dye T-shirt is pretty cool though so all the race stuff wasn't that bad.

My time was 29:02, give or take a few seconds, which seems incredibly crappy. I was at least in the top 15 so I really wasn't that bad. The combination of the cold, ice and snow, and an unknown route all factored into the time. I'm still not spreading the news of my time around though but the race was a lot of fun.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

MY NEIGHBORS

Since I haven't ran for the past 2 days I really shouldn't write about running (although I put in a good 6 miles and talked to my coach!). During my run though, I was thinking about my neighbors.

Most of these "neighbors" are not really neighbors, most of them just live in the vicinity. They live on a street that my street comes off of, but since I am so well aquainted with their sidewalks, I feel as though they are my real neighbors.

My favorite is the short old man who walks his old dog outside when it's 30 degrees out. He and his dog shuffle along slowly, although it may be because the old man is so tightly bundled up. I salute him though because he is out there when many people aren't. I call him "the old guy with the old dog". I have only one problem with him and that is the fact that his sidewalks are never clear until a week after the snow/ice come. I know he is an old man, that's where he got his nickname, but he has people living with him, there's cars in the driveway, and sometimes there's a shovel by his door. I almost want to shovel his sidewalk for him because whoever is supposed to be shoveling off his sidewalk is doing a terrible job of it.

The old guy with the old dog had a surprise for me however. His sidewalks were SHOVELED. Hardly anybody's sidewalks were shoveled which makes it an even bigger surprise. But the sidewalks were clear, no ice or snow. If he had been standing in his driveway, I would've hugged him although he obviously is not the one shoveling it. I think he was giving me an early Christmas present because he made my last around home run before Christmas a very special one.

Not all my neighbors are kind and nice like the old guy with the old dog. Some of them hate me. Take for example the people who live on a corner that kept their McCain/Palin sign up almost 3 weeks after the election (a.k.a. the Palin people). I haven't seen them before and they don't know I support Obama but they hate me. There is always something wrong with their sidewalks. A few days ago, everyone's was clear while the Palin people's was icy. It didn't just have icy patches, the sidewalk was a sheet of ice. They also build hurdles at the end of their sidewalks. Where the street meets their sidewalk there always seems to be a big pile of snow. It's over a foot high and I somehow have to jump over it. I haven't missed yet but it's kind of embarrassing when the cars drive by. Today they didn't even bother shoveling their driveway (and even the old guy with the old dog did!). The Palin people just don't like me.

The other kind of neighbors that seem to be popular lately are the stalker or creeper neighbors. When they see me run by they pull up chairs to their windows and watch me. They know my route (which I guess isn't that hard, because I have like one route where laps can be added on) and they are always so impressed that I run up the hill. One such neighbor today was walking his dog towards the bottom of the hill (the dog didn't even bark at me!) and from across the street he told me how he was impressed with how I was always running. He used to run up the hill but can't do that anymore. He used to have fun doing it and it's nice to see someone else having fun running too.

I wasn't even going to run up the whole hill because the street conditions were too slick but I ran up halfway because I apparently have a reputation to keep.

Another lady that lives on my hill told me, while shoveling her sidewalks, that she was so impressed with how I ran up the hill all the time because she could barely walk up.

These people may just be trying to be nice but it gets a little creepy. Everybody seems to know that I'm that girl who's always running. And how do they know I'm always running. Do they have jobs or something better to do that look out their windows and watch me? Even the HOPE sign people knew I was that runner girl because they hadn't seen me for awhile (I know they are retired so they're excused). These people know more about me than I know about them, I don't recognize half of them. It does make me feel good though.

I haven't covered all my neighbors yet (just wait for the snow comet people) but my favorites have been talked about. They really aren't that bad as long as they clear off their sidewalks.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

NON RUNNERS

Yes, it is -2 degrees out with a windchill of -25 degrees, but I still need to run. My mother actually told me I was forbidden to go run today because "it's too cold" and "this cold isn't good for your lungs". Since my running clothes are now in the laundry, I can't defy her and run. It doesn't even seem that cold outside, I've ran in far worse weather. Besides, today was supposed to be my long run day, and now I won't have met my mileage for the week and I'll have to make up my run tomorrow when it's a warm 0 degrees. I have to be properly prepared for my race on New Year's Eve and the weather is messing my schedule up.

Any non runners reading this probably think I'm completely crazy but I've thought of that already. The idea of non runners not understanding runners reminds me of a post in the Runner's World discussions by xtrackaholicx. It is possibly one of the greatest posts ever about running.

"I'm not talking about running, some people can watch track on TV or attend meets, keep tabs on elites and get a pretty fundamental understanding of what times are good, how scoring is done, how training is done. all that technical running stuff that can easily be learned by any observant couch potato in the same way a person can watch "how its made" on discovery channel and understand how they make a car engine but never be able to do it themselves.

Basically, most people don't understand us RUNNERS, the PEOPLE of the sport.

Whenever we feel ****ty and out of shape because we have not run in a while, they assume we must be too mentally attached, or, in other words crazy. After all, who would be upset about NOT exercising right? They also donĂ¢€™t understand how we can make commitments without being miserable. "You cant drink soda? you have to run 70mpw? You have to skip out on a your friends beach party because of a meet? You can't do this? you cant do that? etc... how do you live like that!?"

Perfectly happy, that's how. Or at least happy enough to make it worthwhile.

But I think where we differ most is our perceptions of what an accomplishment is.

I run xx:xx time, I'm miserable because I feel it is slow and that I should be running so much faster. I get 4th place in a race. Most people patronize you by saying "Its not like xx:xx isnt a bad time! You should be proud of yourself! and 4th place is fantastic!"

No, your wrong. because I ran the exact same time 6 months ago. 6 months, 1100+ miles later, consisting of heartbreaking speed works, freezing morning runs, painful hills and long, seemingly endless runs. YOU go through all that, then YOU tell me that its okay and I'm being to hard on myself. It's not like you dedicated yourself to all those miles, only to find them worthless and without improvement. No sweat off your back right? And sure, its easy to say 4th place is great, after all 4's pretty close to 1 right? Well, it doesn't work that way.

I ask you,

Were YOU in the race, and coming around the last half mile YOU saw 3rd place, and did YOU realize that you needed to kick like hell to break it? How would YOU feel, if in that last 400m of the race, you saw third slipping away slowly, while cursing yourself to run faster, harder, ANYTHING just to get to him and finding yourself shriveling back, too afraid to embrace the pain needed to do so? And as third place crossed the finish, and you ambled across the line behind him, did YOU see the look on your opponents face, a look of agony, but relief? And did YOU realize that if only you had sucked it up, if only you had been tough and resilient like a true runner, you would have been able to out kick him? Did YOU look at 5th place, and see how deadly close he had been to passing you? Did YOU cross the finish line, looking at those who proceeded you, and realize that all your miles and hardships had amounted to second best, almost the winner, sorta good, coulda been better, should have tried harder, a secondhand runner. Did YOU look at the guy in second, and realize he was two years younger than you, and his feet over 10,000 miles fresher than yours, and yet still able to beat you regardless of your own work simply because HE HAS THE GIFT, and you do not. And did YOU realize that even though all this may be true, it is no excuse to stop. That you must go and pick up your trainers again in anticipation of another long, silent run, in anticipation of another brain numbing speed work,in anticipation of another day of seemingly endless hills,in anticipation of miles and miles and miles of work.And if even then you find yourself still a secondhand runner, to quit would still mean just that. To be a quitter, to give in and succumb to defeat, to surrender like hundreds before you and become another lost face in a crowd, dreams jaded and faded by a rough, unforgiving self-inflicted nature. To forget what it means to be a runner. To forget the strength it has given you and to forget how it has defined you by creating an ever-determined spirit filled with hope. In favor of succumbing to false realities where time, place, and numbers are all that matters

....

Yes, none of these things cross the mind of non-runners, they know only the numbers. And they patronize you by giving you soap-box pep talks and sanctimonious speeches designed to make you feel stupid for ever doubting yourself. A runner doesn't want to be shown for a fool who is too hard on themselves, they want to express their unrelenting pursuit of their goals by raising the bar higher and higher the further they can reach. Perfection is boring to a runner, to be told to take it easy, your doing fine, there's nothing wrong, some people are just better than others and there is nothing you can do about it. Such rationalizations are the opposite of a runners nature. We dedicate our lives to growing stronger and faster, we derive pleasure from the pursuit, not the catch. We may think that the catch is all we really want. But if your a 15:30 5k runner who has trained for 5 years to achieve that mark, you most likely feel more accomplished and pleased about that time than a gifted runner who ran that time ever since they first started running.

Non-runners don't understand this. To them, our whole world is numbers with no real tangible merit. you either run fast or you don't. The pursuit of victory has ever been dramatized by Hollywood as a glorious affair in which the underdogs eventually triumph over the unbeatable team.

They know nothing of the people who run day after day, mile after mile, hill after hill. only to come up short, again, again, again, and again.

and to still keep running anyway.

Because it's in our nature to always feel as if we could have run faster, harder, longer.

To tell us that we need to relax, that we should be grateful, that we should rest and just be happy with what we already have achieved.

how could you understand?"

NICKELBACK MUSIC VIDEO

The music video for "Gotta Be Somebody" by Nickelback came out this week. When I first watched it, I was confused and didn't really like it. But after multiple watchings, I'm beginning to like it.



One of the reasons I, at first, did not like the video is because of the fake movie quality thing going on. After a while, I began to think that it actually adds to the video. It may look like a bad home video but it makes it realistic in another way.

I think this song has a deeper meaning than most listeners suspect. The video seems to suggest this song is not about looking for somebody to fall in love with, but to know somebody is there such as God. The video shows planets at the beginning so the line "there's gotta be somebody for me out there" may actually be a way of showing that the song is about God. Also, the way Chad and the rest of the band keep looking up seem to confirm my suspicions. My thoughts may not be right, but it's my take on the song.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

SNOW

I love running in the snow. When the snow doesn't consist of large flakes, but smaller and seemlingly soft flakes that just lazily fall to the ground. Today it was almost like running in a snow globe.

I had another excuse to run in the middle of the street because none of the sidewalks were cleared (but I wouldn't have run on them anyways). Hardly anyone was out shoveling or snowblowing so it was almost like I was the only one outside. It was very serene and quiet, at certain points in my run the only sound I heard was my footsteps and sometimes my own breath. My run was calming and peaceful because the only thing besides me outside was the snow. I'd like to think of it as a connection with nature that just so happened in the middle of a residental street.

Sometimes I just stopped in the middle of the street to listen to the silence and watch the snowflakes slowly float to the ground. When I caught them in my glove they looked like stereotypical snowflakes. Like the ones you make as a little kid or ones you see in pictures. It was a perfect snow, in a way.

Running in weather that looks like a snow globe is amazing. It helps me connect not just to nature, but the reason I love running. When most people are hiding in their houses because it's cold and snowy outside, I'm becoming stronger and faster while at the same time enjoying it. Snow is one of my favorite types of weather to run in.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

HOW I FROZE WHILE RUNNING

I dressed for my run when it was 43 degrees outside. It had been 52 before and I thought I would be able to wear shorts in December but the temperature dropped, which should have told me something. Thirty minutes later after deciding a route in which to run 7.5 miles, it was 38 degrees and windy. I was only wearing my light running tights and my lightest long sleeve shirt over a short sleeve one. I had wore some of my favorite running clothes hoping it would help me on my long run and ignored the weather for the most part. I had at least wore gloves and a headband which would come in handy later on.

After 2.78 miles, I made the decision to keep running rather than run inside my house and put on an extra shirt. My run had started out a little chilly but I'd gotten warmer. The dark clouds in the sky were gathering however, and I was worried it would start pouring and I would freeze (I was halfway right). I ran on though, partly because I didn't want to stop, and partly because I didn't think it would rain since it hadn't all day. I didn't want to be warm either so I took my chances. While talking to myself, I jokingly thought that I'd probably get down to the bottom of my hill and it would pour, since I hadn't grabbed another shirt. I was close. I made it down the hill and then less than 400m later it started raining. I thought this was funny but it was a nice rain, steady and not heavy yet so I ran on. Plus running up my hill twice isn't the greatest experience.

It began raining off and on during my run and I started getting a little cold. It wasn't too bad though until it got windier and even the light rain began flinging against my face. I had been worried about hail and sleet but this didn't seem much better. I put my head down when this happened and ran on since I needed to get my long run in and I figured the miles would help if the ice prevented me from running later on in the week.

The rain continued stinging my face and it proceeded to get colder. I didn't take much notice until about 6 miles into my run while it wasn't raining. I moved my arm for some reason, maybe to check my watch or wipe the rain dripping from my hair into my eyes, or something like that. My sleeve felt weird and I touched it. If felt like there was something underneath it making it hard. Then I figured out that it was frozen. My sleeve was frozen. It had become hard and the wrinkles and sags in the shirt weren't able to move because they had frozen. I checked my other sleeve and found the same result. I checked the top parts of my sleeves, and although not as hard, there was still an icy covering spread over them. I found this hilarious, which should have told me I was becoming delerious from the cold and rain and turned back.

It took me at least another half mile before I figured out that it hadn't been simply rain that combined with the cold that froze the arms of my shirt. It had been freezing rain or sleet. Maybe that was why people had been giving me weird looks as they ran to their cars and wiped the ice off. Minutes later it started raining again so I was able to test my theory. Sure enough, I caught little ice pellets in my hand that had been pelting my face for 15 minutes.

After reaching almost 7 miles I decided to keep on running because I felt good and I wanted to see how frozen my shirt could get. This is obviously a stupid idea but the cold was affecting me. The fact that I had just found out, while trying to pull my shirt down, that the bottom of my shirt was frozen,creating a sort of shield around my abdomen also affected my decision.

I decided to run 10 miles, which I have only run once before, in the summer when it was about 85 degrees out. At around 8.5 miles I found the upper part of my shirt, the part across my chest, was also frozen so I now had a sort of shield on my front half. My hair seemed to be covered in ice too or at least had icy pellets spread throughout it. Less than half a mile later, after stepping through multiple puddles that didn't appear to be water, I could feel my shoelaces hitting the top of my shoes. My shoes were soaked but I took this as a sign that my shoelaces had frozen. My shorts didn't freeze though, probably because they were mostly covered by my shirt and constantly rubbing against my running tights.
The last half mile of my run produced no more rain. I was a little disappointed but since I couldn't straighten my arms due to the frozen sleeves, maybe that was a good thing. The sidewalks had become icy and slick but I hadn't noticed because my last 4.5 miles had been ran in the street. After arriving home without falling on the ice, I melted a little while running inside to grab the camera. I checked the temperature quickly and found it was 28 degrees. It had dropped 10 degrees during my run and the clothing I was wearing wasn't acceptable for anything under 35 degrees. The experience was worth it however. I took some photos since I figured this wouldn't happen to me very often while running.

My shoelace is actually frozen in this position.


After I untied my shoelaces they were still frozen.


The loop in my shoelaces is actually hard and wouldn't straighten until it melted.

My shirt is frozen in this position.

It wouldn't stand up on its own because the back isn't frozen. The arms are frozen in that position however.



This is what freezing rain does to your clothing.
Those wrinkles in my shirt don't move.




The bottom of my frozen shirt.


The slightly darker spots are where the ice is.




This is one of my favorites because you can really see how the ice froze it.



This is my driveway which didn't look like this at all before my run. You can actually see the ice pellets.

Sorry for the long post and all the pictures. I just like to show off how dedicated I am.

Friday, December 12, 2008

THE OVERLOOKED SPORT

I am willing to overlook the lack of people at our xc meets and the lack of support we get at school. I ignore the fact that there is almost no one running xc and that there are more girl's bowlers than xc runners. I, usually, deal with the fact that not many people care about my sport. Sometimes it gets to be a little too much.

At the pep assembly today, which are important for that fact that they eliminate 10 minutes off of each class, the AD started to announce "the achievements of the fall sports teams". He talks about how wonderful the football team is, girl's swimming, golf, volleyball......I thought they'd stick xc in the middle since we didn't go to state but at this point I realized we'd be at the end. Except then he talks about how our school received the sportsmanship trophy because of football and volleyball (what an honor). The football team didn't even officially get to state. They even talked about the dance team more than us. I don't even consider that a sport and I've taken 12 years of dance. Maybe if the routines were more advance than ones I could do 4 years ago it could graduate to a sport level.

Apparently the xc team didn't achieve anything in our season. Sure, we weren't super amazing, but we didn't place last at our meets. We put more time and effort into our sport than probably most of the other sports. Nobody else woke up at 6 in the summer to run before it got to be 90 degrees. They didn't practice in thunderstorms or with lightning flashing over them. They didn't run up hills that have been described as "giant" or that are popular for sledding. Other sports might practice when it is hot out, but they have something called drink breaks. We don't have those in xc.

At practice in August one day, we had to run for 42 minutes with more than 30 minutes of that sprinting, around a track in about 90 degree weather. There was two big gatorade coolers sitting by the football field that allowed the players to get drinks. I had to pass those coolers every single lap and imagine how wonderful a drink would feel. For 42 minutes without shade I looked at those coolers that held ice cold liquid. So when the football player who had just gotten a drink out of a hose cut in front of me on the track and said "I wish we could have practices like that, all they do is jog", I lost respect for other sports. We had been running for more than 20 minutes before he started his practice and there's no way he could've RUN our practice.

During the summer I would sometimes have to run at 9:00 at night so it would get down to 85 degrees. I went through countless amounts of ice throughout the season to make sure I could stumble through practice the next day. I ran a meet where I actually had to numb my leg with ice before hand so I could run. I put up with terrible repetitive sprint practices at Vito's, where I refuse to eat because those practices have ruined it for me.

True, there are fun parts or else nobody would join xc. But to overlook us in achieving something is not fair. I achieved so much in xc this season. I ran 10 miles. I PRed in basically every distance and can run 5 miles with under an 8 minute pace. I ran 7 miles in under an hour, when last season it took me 10 minutes longer. I PRed in my xc race by almost 30 seconds for a time of 16:24. I achieved something in xc. My team achieved something this season. Apparently no one cares.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

WHY I RUN

I have been waiting a long time (as in since October when I last had one of those days) to know the answer to this question and today I figured it out. Yesterday I was asking myself why couldn't I have played a sport with a ball that can be played indoors. Why didn't I take up volleyball, bowling, soccer, or basketball? Why, of all sports, did I have to run? Why do I run? Today I know the answer.

I run because of days like today, where you feel you can go on for forever. I was going to force myself to do 3 but instead I ran 7. Seven whole miles just because I felt like it. It was one of those days you don't want to stop. The days that happen when I allow myself to forget the soreness in my legs, forget the wind and cold, forget everything but running. I forget that I am required to run, that without these runs I won't be able to have more good runs. Instead I focus on the moment, my run, and it no longer is work. It becomes fun and turns into a passion.

I run because I am dedicated. Why else did I run seven miles when it is 17 degrees outside not factoring in the wind chill. When the people don't even bother shoveling their snow for thirty minutes. Days when all you want to do is snuggle under the covers instead of running. But you do it anyways. And sometimes, every once in awhile it doesn't feel like a chore. You are able to enjoy the cold because you know that the people in the cars can only wish to be as dedicated as you. That they might look at you and think you are crazy but deep down they think that being able to do that is amazing. No one else is outside but you, no one bothers to do anything except you which is what makes me dedicated. Running is dedication.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

ACTS OF KINDNESS

My dad is home from the hospital now and doing much better. He got home Wednesday and has improved a lot. He walks around more and lays on the couch less. He still can't do any lifting but I do it for him. He's also in a better mood.

One thing that has really stood out for me in this whole experience is what people have done. There have been lots of phone calls, emails, and cards from my family, coworkers, neighbors, friends, etc. My family sent a fruit basket which is really yummy. My mom's coworkers have volunteered to make food for us, though we didn't need any. My mom's boss and his family sent flowers, well more of a flower arrangement. It's very Christmasy.

My favorite act of kindness would have to be from my dad's coworkers. I had just gotten home from school and my run and was doing my homework when the doorbell rang. Two or three of my dad's coworkers were at the door in full snow gear. My mom was on her way out and was surprised to see them. They said they were here because they heard we needed new windshield wipers. Apparently the ones on my dad's car weren't working and my mom had been complaining about it for awhile. They installed the new ones and talked to my dad for awhile. They made sure we didn't need any more help like with shoveling snow, meals, or anything like that. It was incredibly sweet to think that people are willing to do this kind of stuff. I guess I didn't realize that people are that kind. I want to thank everyone who has done things for us or sent us notes. It has helped me realize that humans can be good people afterall.

On a sidenote, Happy Birthday Alberto Contador. It's already the next day where you are but good luck with your races this year. I hope you dominate in the Tour and make Lance work for you. Have fun at training camp and have a good birthday.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

MONDAY

A few days ago I was full of topics to blog about. How I had lost some of my motivation to run, how I love running in snow, Thanksgiving, my grandparents who still live in the Dark Ages and don't have a computer. I could have blogged for at least a week on the topics I had thought up. Now, however, I am at loss for words. It also doesn't help that I'm barely awake since I haven't had much sleep. But, I must blog so I'll have to try.

My dad is coming home from the hospital today. And now you might be wondering since when was he in the hospital since my last blog post was over a week ago. I planned to write one of Monday but that day didn't exactly turn out as I expected.

I had went to bed Sunday night thinking about the first day back from Thanksgiving break and kicking myself for not doing the homework that was due later that week. I was started a new class so I was memorizing a new locker schedule and room number.

At 3:50 Monday morning I woke up to the phone ringing. It kept ringing and ringing, and I couldn't figure out why my parents weren't answering the phone since I thought it was one of my dad's coworkers asking him to save the University once again. Once I heard my mom's voice on the answering machine, I got up quick. The phone had finally stopped ringing but I listened to one of the messages to make sure it was actually my mom. Then it hit me that my parents weren't in their room and lights were on all over the house. Since I was half asleep this really didn't worry me until I was calling my mom back. When she answered the phone my dad switched from worrying about my classes to worrying about my dad.

My mom told me she had taken my dad to the hospital because his chest was feeling tight but that he was okay and she'd call me back. I sat on my parents bed, suddenly wide awake, thinking that my dad had a heart attack as I stared at the phone. I didn't think about when this happened or why it happened to him and not some lazy couch potato. All I was thinking was "please let my dad be okay".

My mom called me back minutes later and told me that some of my dad's arteries had been blocked and he had stents put in them and lot's of other medical information that thanks to my halfway attention in biology, I understood. But, all I cared about was knowing my dad was okay.

After a phone call like that, you don't go back to sleep. My body was now so full of adrenaline that I couldn't sleep even if I had wanted to. I finished a book I had been reading while waiting for the phone to ring again. It rang several times after that, my mom reassuring me and giving me more information while sounding calmer as time went on. While waiting for my sisters to wake up I watched cartoons on Disney Channel since I no longer know any of the channels of my T.V. (Our cable or something was changed so the channel numbers all have changed. I don't know any of the channels now except the Game Show Network even though we have a sheet telling us the channels). There's nothing on in the morning anyways except early morning talk shows, reruns, and cartoons. Spongebob wasn't even on. So I watched some strange Disney show that involved children helping dinosoars made out of instruments.

One of the hardest parts the morning however was telling my sisters. Although I had hoped they would wake up earlier because I hated sitting alone, I also wanted them to sleep up to delay my message. How do you tell your younger sisters that your dad is in the hospital? One just kept walking into the bathroom probably to straighten her hair while making sure we didn't have to go to school. My youngest sister came out of her room excited that her favorite show was on and thinking we had a school delay. I can still see her face in my mind when I told her. Her face crumpled up. It actually crumpled up before she started crying. Nothing I said could comfort her although Handy Manny seemed to help. A bad ripoff of the Wiggles along with Warehouse Mouse telling us to brush our teeth everyday also made us feel better.

My grandparents came to our house later that day and I was allowed to go on a mind relieving run with no motivation needed. Running is some of the best therapy around even if I had to trespass through fields to get a good run in. My mom came home and left again, and eventually took us up to the hospital to see him. I have never seemed my dad look so exhausted but he was okay and that's all the matters. I saw some pictures of his heart and the blocked arteries which was cool and actually let me use more of my biology knowledge (I still can't figure out how to use chemistry). He's supposed to come home sometime today though, so I'm really excited.

This whole ordeal has seemed like a bad nightmare that won't let you wake up. On Monday I was pretending to myself that none of this happened in order to make it through the day. But it did happen although it didn't seem like it would. My posts this week will probably not pertain to running (I don't need motivation anymore) or cycling at all (although I see Lance is deciding to ride in the Tour). My posts will be about my dad and what happened because I no longer have anything else to talk about. You don't expect these things to happen to you and your family. They shouldn't happen to anybody. But it happened and my dad is going to be okay. He is coming home today and nothing could make me happier.