ANOTHER LAST OF THE FIRSTS

My last first cross country meet. Of all the things that I will miss from high school, cross country is one of the greatest. I love cross country. My coach asked me during my first year of xc after a meet which seemed perfect, whether I liked track or xc better. I told him xc was growing on me but I liked track better because I liked running under the lights during the 1500. But then I fell in love with cross country. I love everything about it, the races, the practices, how everyone cheers everyone on, running through big crowds, running with no crowds, even the way no one else seems to care about the sport. I have even started loving what before I didn't enjoy.

In one of the few practices I went to during the two weeks we had practice before school started (I had to work), our team went to Vito's. Vito's is a restaurant up the street from my school so we actually run on the field next to it. It is flat for about 100m then turns left uphill with a path flanked by trees on each side. We usually run 200's there, done in 4 sets, with a minute rest between the first 200's, then 45 seconds, 30 seconds, and 15 seconds. It is also the site of one of the top three worst practices, when we ran 28 200's, 4 sets of 7, and didn't have the usual 3 minutes rest between sets. We usually only do 20 200's plus it was about 90 degrees that day. We were doing the 28 200's with the rest, in cooler weather, when we went to Vito's that day. I was turning the corner around a tree, in the middle of our workout, to the flatter part, when I realized something unusual. I was having fun. And then I told myself I couldn't be, we were at Vito's and doing a sprint workout. A combination that I very much dislike. But it was true. I was having fun. I was hitting my times (48 seconds) throughout the workout but that wasn't the only reason I was enjoying myself. It was a whole comination of things, racing others, running in the grass, running with my teammates, knowing I was one of the strongest, knowing I was the reason I was one of the strongest, knowing my coach was proud of me, knowing that I won't always get to run at Vito's, knowing that this is my last year of cross country and I'd better enjoy it. And I was.

I love cross country, even the little things. When running to our home course at Noelridge Park, so we could run the actual course, it was hotter than it had been. But then I told myself that this was cross country weather. And it didn't feel so hot or so hard. I didn't want to complain, I wanted to take it all in. So as I ran the course that day, I enjoyed it. I remembered everything that had taken place there, each different spot that we ran past that held a memory.

Last Thursday, we ran to Noelridge to do a pretty hard workout in the heat, after a few days of rain that were a lot of fun to run in. We were doing 4 minutes of hard running and 1 minute easy, 6 times, around part of the course, including a slight uphill. It was hard, it mostly sucked, and I was getting tired. One of my teammates was running with me for awhile but I really wanted to finish the workout in front on my own. And on the 5th one, I refound my legs. And it just so happened that a middle school cross country team was there running along a trail, which part of our path intersected. They were only running about a mile, so they were going a little faster than us. But when I came to a point where I was running with one of the middle school boys, I couldn't help it. I started racing him. I was near the end of my hard workout, with almost 20 minutes of fast running in, after a long and difficult week. But I raced him because it was fun. The kid probably thought it was weird that a girl at least four years older than him was doing this but it's not like he slowed down either. I just wanted to race, to have a little fun. I didn't think anyone had seen me, but when I had finished, my coach told me how awesome it was when I took that kid on.

For my last first cross country meet, I have two main goals. It is not a time, I'm not even sure how fast I can go. It is not beating specific people, although I would like to do so. They have nothing to do with anyone else. The first, is that I want to enjoy it. When it feels good and when it hurts, in the good moments and the bad, I want to take it in. I want to remember it all. I want to love it. My second goal, is to leave nothing. I am going to try my hardest out there, no matter how I am doing during the race. I will give my all. Because this is my sport. My favorite sport. I'm going to miss it. Because I love it.

MY LAST FIRST DAY

I start missing the Tour de France about two weeks before it ends. Because just the thought of it ending and knowing it will end, is almost too much for me. Saying goodbye to the race is really hard. As Andy Schleck said, everything you work for all year is over in three weeks. And while it's great that it's over, it's also sad for the same reason. He was stating most of my thoughts about the end of the Tour de France. But he was also stating my feelings about high school.

My last first day of school was today. I received my last high school I.D. It was my last time experiencing the first day excitement when you see your friends again after a summer away. It was the last time my parents took my picture on the first day. My last time receiving the first day of school hugs. My last time returning to high school on the first day. My last time meeting my new teachers in high school. My last first after school cross country practice. My last time walking through the halls on the first day. One of the first times I truly realized that this is it. This is my last year in high school. It really is now or never. And yes, it is exciting. But it's also sad. Because of all the things that mean so much to me, that I will have to say goodbye to. All the things that I already miss. Because almost everything will change.