MY QUESTION MARK

SAXO BANK VIDEO

2010-07-13T01:06:00.004-05:00

This is absolutely hilarious.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AuGR9fs8fxE

THE EVE OF GOODBYES

2010-05-25T17:29:00.006-05:00

"I’ve got my memories
Always inside of me
But I can’t go back
Back to how it was

I believe now
I’ve come too far
No I can’t go back
Back to how it was

Created for a place
I’ve never known

This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Belief over misery
I’ve seen the enemy
And I won’t go back
Back to how it was

And I got my heart
Set on
What happens next
I got my eyes wide
It’s not over yet
We are miracles
And we’re not alone
Yeah

This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

And now after all
My searching
After all my questions
I’m gonna call it home
I got a brand new mindset
I can finally see
The sunset
I’m gonna call it home
Home

This is home
Now I’m finally
Where I belong
Where I belong
Yeah, this is home
I’ve been searching
For a place of my own
Now I’ve found it
Maybe this is home
Yeah, this is home

Now I know
Yeah, this is home

I’ve come too far
And I won’t go back
Yeah, this is home"

~"This is Home" by Switchfoot

My last day of high school is tomorrow. My last day of walking down the hallways at my school, hearing JS yell out "k-funk" and eating lunch on the stairs in the foyer. My last day of sitting in my coach's class, laughing at him because I know more to the story than everyone else. My last day of going to hang out in his room 6th hour with JS and having fun. My last day of walking through the school, past the green lockers and my favorite teachers and my friends, knowing that this hallway belongs to me. That this is my school.

That will be my last day of seeing all those familiar faces, going past the dirty corner, hearing my teammate yell out hello, having people crowd my locker. My last day of my math class trying to get our teacher to get us to leave lunch early. My last day of my friend waiting for me so we can walk into class together. My last day with my fellow classmates. I may not be friends with all of these people, but they are familiar to me; I know their names, faces, personalities. I'm going to miss these people, even the ones that I don't like. They are part of me, part of my school, part of my graduating class.

What I might miss most about high school though, is having a place to belong. I love being able to go to school knowing that there is a group of people who care about the same things I do, who accept me for who I am. My running buddies are the best friends one could have. They've seen me at my best and worst, and they are still my favorite. I have my other school friends, and they are awesome, but they really don't understand my running. They wouldn't understand that I love just talking with my teammates after practice at the bench where all the distance runners seem to be. My fellow squirrels are what I will miss the most. They will be there, and I can talk to them, and run with them, but it won't be the same. I love being part of that team, I love being a scampering squirrel, and I'm going to miss this so much.

At the beginning of the school year, I realized how much I didn't want to leave high school, how much it meant to me. But as it became closer to graduation, the coolness of being a senior sets in and you forget what it really means. That you have to leave the place that has been your home for the past four years and your friends. But it still doesn't seem like I could really have my last day of high school tomorrow. Maybe this is because that I don't want to leave it. But I have to. I will have to walk down those hallways and say goodbye to what has been my home. I'm really going to miss my high school.

I'M A WIMP

2010-01-25T20:50:00.003-06:00

I am ashamed of myself. I was a wimp today. I was one of those soft people. I did not run.

It wasn't that cold outside but it was really windy and it was also snowing. I was going to run from school but then I decided there was way too much snow on the sidewalks to do so. I could've gone home and ran on the streets but I didn't. I told myself that this would just be my day off because it was miserable outside. But instead I was really just being lazy.

Whenever I decide not to run because the weather sucks or because of any reason, I feel like I should feel good. But I don't, I just get in an extremely bad mood because I'm mad at myself. Which is what I am right now. I'm mad at myself because I didn't have enough motivation to do what I could have. It's true I didn't have a good day and running outside would only have accomplished mental benefits, not physical benefits with about 12 minute miles, and I've been increasing my mileage for weeks while having a day a week off. But that doesn't mean I can be a wimp. Which is why I am posting this on my blog. Not because I need anyone else to read it, but so I can read it and remember what I am supposed to be doing.

WHEN IT'S COLD OUTSIDE, I RUN

2010-01-18T21:03:00.002-06:00

There was an article in last Monday's paper about cold weather running. I thought I would take a look at it even though they might not bring up any new tips I haven't heard. So I'm reading along but it was kind of short and they basically interviewed a lady who said winter running doesn't suck. And then I look at the picture of her and read the caption. She was from Dallas, Texas. I guess I wasn't aware that Texas had a real winter.

It's nothing against the great Lone Star state. I have family there and we've visited. I thought Texas was awesome, but a little warm. But seriously, if you are going to write an article about winter running, Texas is not exactly what you are looking for. I guess the article was written for a Dallas newspaper so maybe it's more the newspaper here that is at fault. But to even write an article like this.

Here in Iowa, we have winter. We had three snow days in December because of a blizzard. That was fun. Over Christmas break, we had that little snowstorm that kept everyone from going anywhere. We didn't get snow days out of that. And for awhile we've been having temperatures that are sometimes in the teens. Last week, we found out that it was supposed to get into the thirties. I know all those people in the south are complaining about their cold weather where it might get below freezing during the night. They should come here, where people are actually excited about temperatures in the thirties. I stepped outside one morning when it was in the high 20's and I told my mom that it felt warm out. Here in Iowa, where we have winter, people enjoy temperatures above freezing. We celebrate them.

In this article, the lady says she loves early morning runs. In places that actually have winter, there are windchills of -30 degrees, so you don't exactly seen many people out. She does say that at first you really don't want to be out there, which is true a lot of the times. But then she gets that crisp morning air which is so much clearer in the winter. When I feel that cold winter wind I hope that it doesn't give me frostbite on my face later on. But on to her tips.

Her first tip is to keep your hands warm with gloves, but mittens on the cold days. I don't wear gloves above 30 degrees. One day I wore double gloves but that was because it was one degree and I was only doing about 3 miles so my hands wouldn't be able to warm up. The day I ran 7.85 miles in 7 degrees, I wore one pair of gloves. My hands did get a little cold but I couldn't really feel my face so I didn't pay attention to that. And these are just cheap knit gloves, no fancy brand name stuff. I like them just fine.

She advises you to have layers to shed. I wear enough clothes so that the first mile is really cold but after that I'm pretty cold. It makes you run faster anyways. She talks about the different shirts you should wear, I have one underarmour like shirt that's incredibly warm and I usually wear that with a tshirt, sometimes a fleece jacket if it's cold. And when I say cold, I mean under 10 degrees at least. Then she talks about tights and she mentions some tights with fleece lining which is pretty cool. Not sure why you would need them in Dallas. I wear double tights a lot, a thick pair over a light pair, and I tuck the thick ones into my shoes so my ankles don't get cold. I've been able to wear one pair of tights though for about the last week which I have very much enjoyed.

Her third tip is to stretch. I don't stretch in the winter. This may not be the best for my legs but stretching becomes procrastinating very easily. Just tell yourself you'll stretch for awhile and then delay your run, and then you have to do a shorter run because it will get dark. Stretching decreases your motivation when it's cold. You just have to make yourself go outside and run.

Most running articles make me mad because they are written for joggers. This one made me mad because the coldest it has been in Dallas is 28 degrees. Here in Iowa, it was 5 degrees. The next day it was one. But 28 degrees is one pair of tights weather. Weather that makes you want to run because you have to enjoy it.

My winter running tips with therefore be as follows:

1. Don't procrastinate. There are many excuses in winter. Don't listen to them.

2. Don't care too much about the times. Last year I could run 9-11 minute miles during the winter. That track season I could easily run 8 minute pace at longer distances. Pay more attention to the miles.

3. Run in the streets. Sidewalks get icy and people don't shovel them. I'm more of a street runner even during the summer but running in tire tracks gets you a lot more traction.

4. Make yourself go out there and run. Force yourself. It doesn't matter if it feels like a chore. It will be worth it.

5. Remember one of my favorite running quotes "There is no bad weather, only soft people."

Some people have to run during actual winter when it's actually cold. Those people are so much stronger than those who think they have winter.

MY FAN, THE BUS DRIVER

2010-01-10T14:20:00.004-06:00

I run the same route almost everyday. It should become boring but it usually doesn't. I could change it up and add in a couple of different streets, but I often lose my motivation and it makes running seem like a chore when I do so. Because I often run the same places over and over, I start to recognize people. There's the guy who only seems to be outside when he's clearing his driveway because of the snow. He likes to shout at me that I'm crazy. There's a guy who asked me how many miles I do a day and one time a mailman waved at me instead of running me over. It wasn't the creepy mailman either who likes to sit outside houses for 10 minutes doing what looks like nothing.

It seems like when you are running by yourself, it compels people to wave, or honk, or yell at you. A couple of days ago, a seemingly random person waved at me while driving by, although he later turned out to be one of my friends back from college. I've had a kid around my age stand in the street and stare at me (probably because of my knee socks) while getting dropped off. Those same people who dropped him off later drove by me and yelled something. I've had a car full of teenagers yell something at me towards the end of my run, but again, I couldn't understand them. And then there was the furniture store truck that drove by me and honked, completely freaking me out. I actually enjoy when people somehow let me know that they've seen me (most of the time) because it feels like they are cheering me on. But out of all the random people who do this, or all my neighbors who like to talk about seeing me, there is one guy who stands out above them all. And that is my friend, the bus driver.

My basic route is 5.65 miles, although it can be increased by running some parts again. Most of this route is also the bus driver's route. Depending on what time I start at, how fast I run, and how many miles I am doing, I see him at different parts during the week. It's somewhere between 4:15 and 4:35 when I see him because he drives one of the Catholic school buses. Most of the time there's no kids on the bus, and he's just driving it back to drop it off. Whenever I see him though, no matter where along my route I am, he acknowledges me in some way. It started out with just waving, but lately he's been honking at me too. He's always smiling at me and it always feels like he's cheering me on. On the hardest days and in the worst weather, when he honks he seems to say that even if you feel like nobody is watching, that no one cares, and everyone thinks you're crazy, I support you. And so I want to thank my fan, the bus driver, for making me feel like someone who doesn't even know me thinks I can run fast and complete all my miles, even if I don't always feel I can.

THAT'S NOT REALLY ME

2009-12-10T19:57:00.007-06:00

In the midst of filling out college applications and scholarships (and not having ran all last week because there was an incredible pain in my foot, and not having run for the last three days because of a combination of a blizzard and wind chill temperatures, which did get me three snow days), I have realized something important. The ability to make up information to make yourself look good is underrated.

Technically, I guess it's not making up stuff, it's just writing the story in a way that makes you look better than you should. I'm not really that kind of person though, kind of like how I don't like making excuses. Because the colleges don't really want to know you, they want to know how good you think you are. And besides that, the one thing they truly care about is leadership. Which I am getting tired of real fast.

I'm sure leadership is a great quality to have, but it's not the top quality and plus someone is going to be needed to follow all these leaders. And maybe the real reason that I now detest leadership, is that I'm not really a leader. I don't do clubs or councils, they are too much like team sports, and I'd rather be doing something else. I don't organize community service activities, although I do volunteer. I'm involved in two sports that do not truly have team captains, although I can claim being a cross country captain because I participated in captain's games at our pep assembly. Licking peanut butter off of fiberglass while wearing a pirate mask should count for something afterall. I'm the oldest child in my family, which can also give me a little bit of leadership. But I don't have official leadership titles or duties. As my coach once told me, I lead by example and not by talking.

I'm sure this probably makes me sound like a loser who doesn't deserve a scholarship, but I'm really a good student. I have a 4.2something GPA, have a great ACT score, and have numerous academic awards. I am ranked 12th in my class of like 400 kids. But the answers to these scholarship applications evades me. Even when I try to write about something I actually enjoy, like running, I just don't know what to say. These people aren't going to understand it. And it won't stand out from all the others. Even if I use running as my example in my "challenging situation", it's not going to be interesting to someone not a runner. They won't really get it.

Although the leadership questions bother me, I could see the merit of asking them (except I don't think it is worth the multiple essays I have had to write on the subject). A question that really bothers me, is when they ask "do you want us to know anything else about you" or "what should we know about you". Do they really want to know anything about me? Do they really care? Because this is what I would tell them:

I love running. I dislike it very much sometimes, but it plays a huge role in who I am. The aspect of hard work, quiet determination, and perseverence are all parts of running, and therefore they are a part of me. I also enjoy the sport of professional cycling. Those aspects I have previously described can also be found in this sport. And plus, there is just something that draws me to the sport. Which is why I follow it even though I have few people to discuss it with.

I am often described as a quiet person, which I do not enjoy, because really, I'd talk more if everyone would just shut up. I also tend to take a cynical view sometimes, when not talking about what I really love. I'm not looking forward to college because I am going to have to leave a lot of what I consider me behind. I won't have any practices to go to, or teammates to cheer on. I won't get to see my friends everyday, I'll have to live somewhere else, I'll be forced to make my own decisions, I'm not going to know the teachers, and I don't even get a locker. I kind of like what I have now and am not exactly thrilled about having to change.

I am going to major in engineering because of the process of elimination of all the careers I do not like. My favorite school subject is history but there is no real career in that besides teaching. I really only like male teachers, because they treat you like adults and not little kids, and plus most kids hate history so it would not be enjoyable teaching them. One of my friends (whom I have many sarcastic, cynical conversations with) once asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up. He told me he wanted to be a migrant farm worker. I told him I wanted to be a podium girl in the Tour de France. Which is really what I'd rather do,

And now I would like to thank the scholarship commmitte for reading my essay about me. I am not the prime example of the potential of greatness of our youth. That's because I am a real person who has unique hobbies and decision making issues. And that is what you should know about me. Besides the fact that I was tired of filling out scholarships midway through my first one.

THAT DAY

2009-12-01T20:37:00.007-06:00

One year ago, everything changed. My dad had a heart attack. My dad, who has come to almost all my sporting events and cheers me on, who takes me to see all the politicians that come talk, who introduced me to the Tour de France, who loves to play Scrabble. Who was the subject of my greatest thanks that year, because my dad was okay.

It was to be the first day back from Thanksgiving break. Early that morning, the phone rang. It kept ringing and ringing. My driver's ed teacher told us about two weeks later that early morning phone calls are hardly ever good, because good news can always wait until morning. He was partly true.

I can still remember the phone ringing over and over again. The answering machine clicking on, and my mom's voice telling one of us girls to pick up the phone. I answered it half asleep. And then my mom told me that she had taken my dad to the hospital. He was having chest pains but he didn't want to wake me up because he thought it wasn't that big of deal. But my mom told me the sweetest words I could hear after she told me where they were at. He was okay. He was going to be okay.

I stayed up after that, waiting for the phone to ring again, and for my sisters to wake up. I remember the look on my youngest sister's face when I told her that dad was in the hospital, that he was okay, but we didn't have to go to school. That was one of that hardest things I have had to do. To tell her words that I didn't even want to hear. But he was okay. And that's what mattered.

We were allowed to visit him later on, and I don't think I have ever been so glad to see my dad. He looked weak and sick and okay. He had watched what he ate, he exercised- went on bike rides and went running with me, he did what his doctor had told him. He did so much right, and what scares me is what went wrong. There are so many fat, unhealthy, junk food eating guys out there and they weren't the ones who this happened to. They are the ones who it is supposed to happen to. But my dad has done even more since that day. He goes walking all the time and lifts weights. And he's still there at all my meets.

On that day, a year ago, I went for about a six mile run. I had been running at most like four until that day. But then I needed to run. I needed to get out of the house, and run long and deal with everything. My grandparents had arrived so I didn't need to act like the grownup anymore. I could act like the kid that I felt like through the whole experience. So I ran. I ran because it was my therapy, I could get out my adrenaline, my fear. I could be myself and didn't have to pretend when I ran. Running that day, that week, became something I wanted to do, something I had to do.

I'm not sure how my mom dealt with everything, because I was so terrified myself, and I knew from the beginning that he was okay. The way she acted has made her an even stronger woman in my opinion. One of the really hard things that week was actually going to school and sitting in class and listening to everyone's conversations. I couldn't make it matter to me, what really mattered was my family. And a year from that scary day, the same thing matters. My family matters.

XC RACE REPORT: MY LAST GOODBYE

2009-10-22T18:43:00.012-05:00

"Everything you do is your legacy." ~Aaron Douglas Trimble

Every story has a beginning and an end. Mine began on a hot August day. I was a sophmore and arrived about 20 minutes late for my first cross country meet. My coach was probably mad, but he always seemed that way and I didn't know him that well. He just told me that I was too late to run fresh/soph and would have to run JV. I finished in 20:07, right ahead of my middle school nemesis. The only thing I really remember, besides that, is seeing this varsity boy from another school be given oxygen through a mask after his race. I remember seeing a bunch of ambulances, fire trucks, and police cars in the parking lot. It was at least 95 degrees out with a heat index of over 100. Four people were taken to the hospital. And that was my welcome to cross country.

My coach wrote that I was "going to have to do a lot of work to catch up" on my pre race sheet that day. But today, today he gave me 3/4s of a hug and told me I did a good job and that he was proud of me. While we were both on the verge of tears. I've come a long way between these two days. It's been a journey filled with tears, smiles, determination, perseverence, and a little bit of courage. But I would love to experience each of those days over again. Even if everything happened the same way.

The top three teams and top ten individuals qualify for state at our district meet. According to the results at the Supermeet (since the divisional results couldn't be accurately compared), I had a chance to be the 10th person. My team also had a chance to be that third team. We would be the dark horse. And this is why I've been nervous for this meet for about two weeks. I didn't want it to come. I didn't want it to end. But it had to come. And it had to end.

I woke up on Tuesday with a sore throat. I told no one. I figured it wouldn't improve by telling anyone and I ignored it. Because I didn't want it to be there. And then people would keep bothering me about it. So I just kept telling myself that I was fine.

On Wednesday, I woke up with a sore throat. It got worse throughout the day. I had to cough every time I tried to talk and it burned a little during practice. My last practice. It was 70 degrees out and the sun was shining. It was a beautiful day. The leaves crunched under our feet as we ran the two miles in a pack. We came up the parking lot in a line. And then we did 6 strides. As I ran that last stride, I tried to remember it. The way the sunlight shone down on us. The way my lungs burned and my calves protested. The way the grass felt under my feet as I ran across the soccer field toward the school. Something that I've done so many times before.

I didn't even bother opening my backpack when I got home. I kept drinking water and just rambled on to my mom because I was so nervous. She did make me spaghetti and sweet potatos for supper (yes, it's kind of a weird combination) and I was in bed before 8:30. It was kind of hard to get to sleep because I was really nervous about the meet and sad about what it could mean. But when I finally got to sleep, I actually had a couple of dreams. They were all different versions of our district cross country meet, held in different places, with different results. One took place in a parking lot around cones. But when I woke up, I felt rested. My legs felt okay and my throat didn't even hurt that much. Of course, it didn't stay that way but it did give me a little extra confidence.

As I put on my cross country shirt before school, I realized that no matter what, this was the last time I would get to wear my xc clothes to school because of a meet. Not that I was able to pay attention to anything at school anyways. I should've been given a pass that said "most important cross country meet of life, please excuse".

I don't have a 6th hour so I went home before our meet began at 4:00. It had been steadily raining the whole day, it was windy, and was only about 45 degrees. When I got home, my mom told me that only four districts out of 20 hadn't been canceled. And lucky us, ours was still on. I got all my stuff together and put on all my clothes. I decided to wear my underarmour like top even though my coach told us not to wear anything if it was above 40 degrees. I figured he could deal with it and got ready to leave. It really kind of hit me then, the whole significance of the meet. That it could be my last cross country meet. I started crying and I just couldn't stop. My mom gave me a little pep talk that made me feel better. I drove to the meet crying though. I heard my favorite song ever, "Far Away" by Nickelback and another song I like "If You Only Knew" by Shinedown. I was still really upset and nervous though. This made me kind of glad that it was raining when I got to the meet because it would hide my tears.

I arrived at 3:00 but I was the first person from my team there. My coach was getting the tarp out of his car so he could put it under our little tent (that had sides). He said something to me about someone who was probably going to be at the meet but I was wondering where my teammates where. We finally started warming up at 3:11. It was bittersweet, because I knew this could be the last time I would warmup for a cross country meet. I knew that this was the last time I would get to run on my home course. Since the course had changed a little, my coach told us to do the second half. I told me teammates this but they said we were going to do the whole thing. I figured that was there problem then and I would do it later on my own. My coach came over after the first mile though and told us to do the second part, like I had said. This made me a little frustrated, because no one had listened to me and then it seemed like my fault. I was a little more worried though about how I felt. We weren't warming up at a high speed but I was breathing heavily. My legs were doing okay but there didn't seem to be anything special. I desperately wanted this though, so I ignored it all. I concentrated instead of remembering this course, this warmup, and how the rain didn't feel that bad anymore. I then finished the warmup by myself because I stopped at the lone Portapotty and kind of wanted to be alone. I ran the part of the course that had changed and then went back to the tent. My coach gave me my number. Number 304. My last cross country number.

We stretched under the tent, on a tarp that was still folded up, as it rained. The course wasn't as muddy as last week but there was standing water at some parts. Apparently, there was also a tsunami warning for the pond. JS arrived with the signs she had made from poster board and paint. I kept the sign that she had given my mom to hold. She is such a great teammate. My family then arrived and we were almost ready to go. I tied on my spikes and did my last stretches. I put my yellow race headband in my hair along with my gold hairband. My LiveSTRONG wristband was placed in my shoe, and I left the tent. My mom wished me luck as I held back tears. And then I walked to the line. For the very last time.

I only did two strides before standing on the line. After our first stride that took us to the middle of the course, our team did the traditional spike circle with our right feet. With our arms around each other in the huddle, we wished each other luck and thought about state. While everyone else shouted their cheers, we whispered cougars. And then our last stride to the line. As I stood on the line (outside box on the right, aren't we always), I looked at the crowd through the rain. I remembered how many times I have stood before on the line, waiting to run a cross country meet. At my first ever meet. At my first varsity race, the first time I wore that green jersey. At my last first meet, when everything seemed possible. At that meet where I finally broke sixteen. This could be my last time. And this could be my last chance. The gun went off, for my last cross country race.

My coach told us that we had to be in the top 15 near the beginning if we wanted a chance of qualifying for state individually. I didn't want to count on my teammates, because I wasn't sure what we could do, so I was aiming for the top 10. And I truly thought I could do it. My first 800 was in about 3:06, done next to my freshmen teammates JR and TM. My throat felt a little clogged up but I was more concerned about my legs. I was ready to go but my legs didn't seem to want to go with me. I just reminded myself that this might be my last race unless I did something so I kept going. Along the muddy course that was raked of leaves in some parts, I could see my parents and my teammates cheering me on. I had told my other friends that I didn't want them to come. If I was going to make it to state, I wanted to experience that feeling with my teammates, my coach, and my family. And if I didn't make it to state, I wanted to say goodbye with my teammates at this last meet.

There wasn't that many people at the meet and bell guy wasn't there so I didn't get the whole Tour de France experience. As I ran up the hill after the bridge, I could feel how tired my legs were beginning to feel. I had decided that I was just going to go as fast as I could for as long as I could. I also did not want to admit how I was really feeling. It was about .75 mile in when JR and TM began to leave me behind. I tried staying with them but my legs just wouldn't go. I can't just blame it on how I felt sick, my legs weren't working either. My coach yelled at me before I turned the corner to catch up to them but I was trying as hard as I could. I ran the first mile in 6:26, which concerned me a little bit. I knew our times would be slower because of the wind, rain, and cold, but this was a little too slow. Plus, I was falling behind and was just getting slower. So I thought about state.

I knew the next part, the second mile, is always the hardest so I tried to concentrate on catching the girls ahead of me. There was a girl from one of the teams we were trying to beat ahead of me and I was trying to get her. Then we went up the hill and all of a sudden, AK was beside me. I knew that she was coming and I didn't freak out. I just tried to stay with her. She went past me a little and my coach yelled five fast steps at me. I tried but my legs just wouldn't go. They were numb and cold and not fast. I knew this could be my last chance to make my mark so it wasn't like I wasn't trying. I was giving all I could.

We crossed the bridge again and ran across the ditch. I tried moving up to AK but at least the gap wasn't getting bigger. As I passed by the middle school football field, I could see the leaders of the race. JR and TM looked like they were close to the top 10, which almost seemed like a good thing, because I knew that the only way I would get to state would be if we made it as a team. My coach thought we could do it though. He also was yelling out only encouraging things at me. I appreciate the fact that he didn't tell me I sucked during my last race. I also appreciate that he didn't give up on me.

When I went up the hill to get next to the road, I remembered that this was my last chance to run the course. I even caught up to the other girl and AK a little, but then they pulled away. I hit the two mile mark in something:45. I didn't even want to know what time I was running. I could feel my throat burning and my legs slowing down. But I kept going.

We crossed back over the ditch and we entered the finishing loop on my home course for the last time. I was trying to sprint and I noticed a girl moving past me. I checked her jersey and sure enough, she was from a team we were trying to beat. This made me feel like I had to at least try to keep up with her but my legs just wouldn't go. I watched the girl catch up to AK and I cheered for her in my mind. As I turned the corner and ran the last straightaway, I reminded myself that this could very well be my last one. And even though I hadn't felt like I had anything left for the last 1.5 miles, I wasn't going to let anyone pass me and I was going to try to pass someone. I gave it my all to get to that line. I (kind of) sprinted to the finish. And even though I didn't catch up to anyone, no one caught me. AK passed the girl from the other team on the line and I came in behind them. One of my other freshman teammates came in right behind me but I pretty much knew she was back there. The girl in front of me gave me a high five in the chute and I congratulated my teammate behind me. All along, I had been worried about how my other teammates would do at this meet. And when we finally got to districts, it had been me that had struggled.

When I got out of the chute, I didn't know what to do. I might have just finished my last cross country meet. I congratulated AK and watched as my mom walked up towards me. She congratulated me and told me that it didn't matter how we did. She was proud of me. My coach walked up and gave me 3/4s of a hug. He told me "thank you" as his voice cracked and he sounded like he was going to cry. I felt the same. He told me he good job, that he was proud of me, and that it was going to be close.

I talked to JS, the assistant coach, and my teammates. I finally got cold enough that I realized I was shivering and went back to the camp to get clothes on. My senior teammate EOB was in the tent putting on her sweats. Her eyes were all red but I didn't know what to say. I sit next to her in AP Economics and we've been teammates for 3 years, but we don't talk that much. I guess I never realized how much she cared about it too. Not because she wasn't as fast as me, but because of her attitude. We both seemed to be on the verge of tears as we put on our clothes. AK walked in and got her stuff but we all just crouched around under the tent. Some of my other teammates came in and we learned that JR and TM had gotten 11th and 12th. I shouldn't have felt this way, but in a way I was kind of glad. I wanted us to all be in it together if I couldn't go by myself. That's selfish I know, but it's how I felt.

Our whole team stood around waiting for the resutls, knowing it was going to be close. And then my coach walked by the other side of the tent. Somebody must have asked him about the results and he told us. We had placed 4th, by 4 points. We weren't going to state. It had been my last meet. My last cross country meet. We all just kind of looked at each other, in some state of shock. Nobody really knew what to say. Then my sophmore teammate MT said we needed a group hug, so all of us stood in the middle of the tent hugging each other. When we stood back, EOB started crying and then I did. I gave her a hug, partly because she needed one, and partly because I needed one. JR gave me a hug after that. We both stood around the tent crying and everyone else didn't know what to do. I guess it was something you wouldn't understand until it is your last meet. You don't really know how hard it is until it happens. EOB said she was going to cooldown and I said I would go with her. I needed to say goodbye. I stepped outside of the tent after wiping away some of my tears and my coach walked by. He patted me on the back and told me I had done a great job. I didn't really say anything because I knew I would just start crying again, but somehow that gesture meant a lot to me. It was like he didn't know what to say and that he knew I was upset, but that it would be okay. And then EOB, AK, and I cooled down together after our cross country meet for the last time. EOB and I were both crying during the cooldown but we did it quietly with tears streaming down our faces. I knew our eyes were all red (although it was raining) but I didn't really care. We ran together, not talking, on the other side of the bridge. Sometimes I thought I would be okay but then it would hit me all over again. We ran the loop and then went back across the bridge. The three of us all kind of stopped running at the same time and walked towards camp. I saw my mom with my dad under their umbrellas and I walked towards them. My mom gave me a hug and then I really started crying. I was sobbing, hugging my mom, under an umbrella in the middle of a rainy district cross country meet. And I could have cared less about what anyone else was doing. When I got myself together, all the girls had left so I got my stuff. My mom and I walked back to my car together. We saw JS and the assistant coach in the parking lot. I didn't talk very much to them because I was still very upset. I got in my car after that and I just started crying really hard. I drove home that way, hearing the "Second Chance" song by Shinedown. I probably shouldn't have been on the roads because it was raining and I had no idea how fast I was going. I just cried all the way home.

I didn't even care that people beat me, or that I had a bad time, or anything. I had done all that I could so I didn't run bad on purpose. I was a senior who had only gone to state as an alternate. Of course, I was trying with everything I could. I wanted to prove to myself, to everyone else, that I had really become a runner. I wanted to run my last meet at 11:00 on Halloween in Fort Dodge. I wanted to say goodbye at a place that truly cares about cross country.

And if I wouldn't have had my bad day, we might've made it. All the freshmen had great meets. AK didn't have the best meet but she did better than me. And I was supposed to be the leader of the team. I should've been up there. And then we wouldn't have been four points behind in fourth place.We should be going to state. Even though we haven't beaten the third place team in years, we would have deserved it. It was only four points. And we almost made it. We almost made it.

WHY I LOVE CROSS COUNTRY

2009-10-20T18:55:00.006-05:00

I might only have one cross country practice left. I might also have more than a week of practice left. Either way, I don't have that many practices left. But this has only intensified my feelings for the sport. It has made me love it even more.

I complain a lot about cross country. I complain about how no one else in our school cares, how no one comes to our meets to support us, how almost no one knows our school has a cross country team, or even knows what cross country is. I complain about how we have one of the smallest sports teams in the school and how no one pays attention to us. But really, I don't think I'd want it any other way. I love how cross country is its only little sport. I love how hardly anyone goes out for cross country, because it means that the majority of the people of the team really care about the sport. I wouldn't even want a large team because I love how it's just us. I love how the rest of the school thinks we are amazing superhumans because they don't really know anything about cross country. I love how other sports teams both look down and look up to us. I even love when people ask me why I participate in the sport, although it kind of bothers me. It's like they are both confused and impressed with us.

I love being able to do one of the things I love best with people who are some of my best friends. I love how I know all these personal things about my teammates but I barely talk to them in school. Before and after a race, people share all kinds of things they'd tell no one else, even though its their true selves. I love the races, seeing the colorful, long lines of people stretched out across the fields. I love cheering my teammates on, and cheering other people on, just because they run cross country. I love riding the bus after meets and laughing with my teammates. I love hearing people cheer for me. I love how we congratulate each other after the race and how you don't have to win to do your best. I love how we run in all kinds of weather and just deal with it. I love how it is just one race but also many races. I love how it is an individual yet team sport. How everyone counts on you but you count on everyone.

I love practices. I even look forward to most of them. I love the track workouts, the long runs, the tempo runs, and everything else. I love running around the lake, knowing that I can do anything because I am a cross country runner. I love seeing the creepers on the trail and speeding up as you pass them. I love getting out of the way of bikes and dogs. I love looking down the trail at the yellow dashed lines painted on the asphalt as the sun shines above. I love running with the leaves crunching under my feet. I love losing what feels like gallons of sweat while knowing the person next to you might be sweating even more. I love running in the rain, looking at each other knowing that both of you are going to jump into the puddles to splash each other. I love how you can act like a 5 year old on rainy runs. I love knowing you are almost done with your run but I also love when you know that you are just beginning.

I love knowing that I'm not the only one who has a whole wardrobe of running shirts. I love that I can easily convert miles to kilometers or meters and calculate any kind of split. I love knowing that my teammates will be there for me no matter what. I love knowing that my running shoes and socks might smell but I'm not the only one. I love being able to wring the water and sweat out of my clothes after practice. I love how this sports gives back even more than the great amount you put into it. I love how it changes you and makes you into yourself.

I love looking off into the distance, hearing the steady beat of my feet hitting the ground, knowing that I am a cross country runner. I love having this place to belong. I love cross country. Even more than I thought I could.

XC RACE REPORT: THERE IS NO BAD WEATHER

2009-10-17T15:44:00.022-05:00

It is hard to describe cross country weather. My perfect cross country weather would have to be 45-50 degree, sunny with blue skies. But that is perfect cross country weather. Real cross country weather though, can be just about anything. The guy's coach told us that he has been to a meet where the snow was deep enough that you couldn't see the white line so they had to shovel off parts of the course. My first cross country race took place in over 95 degree heat. There were a couple ambulances, fire trucks, and police cars there, and four people had to be taken to the hospital afterwards. I have raced in varying levels of rain, heat, cold, and sun. Cross country meets can take place in any kind of weather (except for lightening) and that is part of what makes us so tough. We run in everything. Including a course where most of the white line has disappeared in the mud while it is cold and drizzling rain. And you know what, it was fun.

We got out of class at 12:40 on Thursday. The divisional (or conference) meet was being held about 1.5 hours away on a course that we ran twice last year. Both times, I did not do well. I wasn't really looking forward to this meet because of this. Strangely enough though, I really wasn't nervous throughout the day. Even when I thought about the meet, it didn't really affect me. This made me worried that I was going to do something similar to my last meets. Before, during, and afterwards, I kind of had a feeling of indifference, that I didn't really care that much. I would think about the race and I would not want to run it. Practices would be okay, but thinking about the misery and pain during the races made me not want to race. But I love racing, so I don't really get it. I was determined to care about this race though, because I don't have many left.

On the bus ride to the course, I had a discussion with JS about our childhoods. While eating some of my snacks, I noticed that it was raining outside. We had known the weather; it was supposed to be about 42 degrees but feel like 36 and it was going to rain. Looking outside at this weather though, from the heated comfort of the bus, it looked even worse than it sounded. But then I remembered that cross country runners are supposed to be tough. We are not soft people. And plus, I could tell all my non running friends about this and they would think I was amazing.

We arrived late, only about 45 minutes before the fresh/soph race. My coach told varsity to stay on the bus while everyone else left to set up camp in the rain. One of the people in charge of the meet apparently told my coach to make everyone warmup off the course so they could save it for varsity. It's not like anyone is going to listen to this though, because most of the teams don't run here regularily so they don't know the course.

My teammates and I stayed on the bus for awhile, only getting off to go for a bathroom break (they actually had real bathrooms because the course was at a multi level soccer complex). We did go cheer on the fresh/soph runners because it was their last meet for the year. This was our first look at the condition of the course and it looked a little muddy. More like a lot muddy, actually. While I was standing with JS while she took pictures (she is now the team photographer), we saw a couple of girls run by with mud all up one side, indicating that they had fallen. Everyone else just had mud on their legs, although we did see a girl with mud on her face. It was drizzling rain, the course was turning into a path of mud, and it looked slippery. And I was actually kind of looking forward to the race.

Varsity was supposed to run at 5:30 (although they were running ahead) so we began warming up a little before the JV girl's race. The freshmen didn't know the course so we made sure to do most of it, although it loops around a lot. Both the boy's and the girl's race loops around part of the course three times, so it was aready a mud pit by the time we began.

Our shoes were sinking into the mud and there were still two races to go before we raced. It was lightly raining out and it was cold. My pants were wet with mud up to my knees in the back and my new shoes had grass stuck all over them. The fresh/soph race results were about 45 seconds slower and more people were falling in each race. But this is cross country, so we were going to have to run.

After our warmup, we stretched under our little tent on the tarp. Our coach chose this time to give us his version of a pep talk. He told us that our times would suck because parts of the course were 6 inches of mud. He said it would feel like 3.1 miles instead of 2.5 miles and it would feel incredibly long. We shouldn't try to run preplanned times because we would get incredibly tired after the first mile. We shouldn't go out fast but we would catch people at the end. It was cold, rainy, and muddy, and there was a long gradual hill that we would have to run twice. Needless to say, it wasn't exactly a peppy pep talk. Our coach was telling the truth, however.

Before we went to the starting line, one of my teammates called my name. She started laughing and told me not to fall like I did earlier in the season. Such helpful advice. We went to the starting line early because the meet was running ahead. I ran a few strides with my teammates before going back to our box (which was on the outside, what a surprise). And then we were told to take off our sweats. Then the guy told us we had two minutes until the race. It was in the mid thirties out so there was more than a few of us that were a little angry at this. I was only wearing my underamour like top under my uniform so it was a cold wait.

It was then that my teammate TM realized that she had forgotten her race number. She is just a freshmen but that is just something you don't do. This meant that she had to run back over to the tent or the bus and back while she still had her sweats on. When she made it back, most of us were on the line. A few of my other teammates helped her get her sweats off while she tried to pin her number on. I stood on the line and got ready to race. I wasn't trying to be mean or uncaring but it really was her problem. I still had my race to run and I didn't want to get off focus because of her mistake. So when the guy lifted his hand and was going to shoot off the gun, while TM was trying to pin her number on, I was on the line ready to go. She was yelling at him to wait but he couldn't hear her. He did make us wait a little though, because he said we were moving around too much. TM managed to get two pins attached to her jersey before the gun was shot off. But I was ready.

The first 200m of the course were actually not that muddy. It wasn't very wide however, so everyone was trying to get into position. I ended up a little farther than I wanted to be at the beginning but I remembered what my coach said about starting out fast. We ran up a little hill to the next level of soccer fields and there the mud began.

The mud wasn't that big of deal until we turned the first corner. The first corner itself was almost pure mud. There were flags all over the course that we had to make sure to go around so everyone was moving to the left in order to do this. We were all still in a pack so it was very crowded. And then a girl near me fell. All of us immediately tried to avoid her so there were elbows flying as we cut each other off. I felt someone spike me but it didn't really bother me. I was just trying not to fall.

We then ran the loop that had been raced on 12 times before us. Not to mention everyone that had warmed up on the course. It was a muddy mess which made it kind of funny. We ran down the hill to the next soccer field (making sure not to fall) and turned the corner, going around the flags, as some guy yelled that the corner was slippery. Obviously. And then the muddiest stretch began.

When running on a muddy course, most people would run to the side to avoid it. Except so many people had done this on the course, that there really wasn't anywhere to go. One side sloped down so it wasn't an option. Then there was the 15ft. wide mud path. On the side of that, there was slightly less mud and more water. While running on it, you would sink down and feel it seep into your spikes. On one of my steps, I could feel my shoe slip a little from my foot as the mud grabbed at it. When going back up to the other soccer field, I was grateful for my spikes so I could kind of grab into the ground. AK had been ahead of me until this point but I didn't freak out and passed her on the hill. I just felt confident that I could do it.

The next part took us near some trees and into more mud. I'm pretty sure it was raining during my race but I didn't feel it because I was more concerned about the brown stuff on the ground. I did pass this guy with a cowbell during this part though. Yes, a cowbell. He was cheering for everyone too, so I didn't figure out what team he was really from. I made it around the multiple soccer field loop though, and moved into a better position. I was ahead of a bunch of packs, but there was a pack about 10 seconds in front of me with most of the girls from one school. I was kind of stuck between the two groups by myself but I kept going and didn't move back.

We passed the mile marker sometime in the next section, but I didn't remember where it was and no one was yelling out times, probably because they didn't matter much. We began going down the big hill loop. AK told me last year to stride down this hill and somehow this always makes us laugh when we go to this course. I remembered what she had said and did my best to stride down the hill. I slowed down before I turned the corner though, because it was looking kind of slippery. I made it around without falling and ran a flatter part before going up more of the hill. You can't quickly power up the hill but you can't just go up slowly so it just sucks all the way around. Add this to the fact that the hill is only about 10ft. wide between a fence and a downward slope. The hill was pure mud and there was no avoiding it. I tried running on the edge for awhile but it didn't really make a difference. I made it though and didn't fall that far back. My coach just kept telling me that these girls were coming back to me and that I was going to beat some of them.

Shortly before the turn onto the third time around the soccer field loop, I realized that I didn't feel that cold. Then I looked down at my legs to make sure they were still there. Keep in mind that this was towards the end of a race while it was raining and felt like it was in the mid 30's. I was not thinking straight. My legs were still there though and they looked a little muddy. But as I went around that loop for the last time, it was really kind of hilarious. The conditions were so miserable that it was funny. And I was enjoying it.

I reached the two mile mark and remembered what my coach had told us earlier. It looks like a long way to the finish line but our coach said that we had to start kicking anyways. I ran down a slight hill and turned the corner. I was catching up to the girls in front of me. One of the girls pushed one of the flags out of her face so her teammate pushed it out of her way and it came around to hit the girl a little behind them right in the face. I avoided the flag. As we went up half of the long, gradual hill though, I didn't even try to avoid the mud. I didn't run through the center of the course, because it sucked you down like quicksand but didn't go out of my way to get away from it. Then I was up the hill and near the finish line. We had about 250m to go and I was getting really close to a girl ahead of me. I passed her with about 175m to go and then ran up a little hill to the soccer field where the finish line was.

This was no 400m finishing straight. It was 100m, but actually not that muddy. There was still a pack of girls ahead of me from the same team and I knew I had to try and get some of them. One of them was my grandma's neighbor (she absolutely adores these kids) and I knew I wouldn't hear the end of it if she beat me. I pulled out all the energy I had left and raced her to the line, barely getting there before her. The chute was backed up but both of us sprinted past the line. I ran into one of the ladies managing the chute and then some guy yanked me back by my jersey. Right after I had just finished a race. I wasn't going to cut and there really wasn't a way to cut so I'm not sure why this was neccessary. I talked to my grandma's neighbor after this, although she was a little too talkative for still being in the chute. She seemed a little mad that it was me who beat her at the line, but that is why I wanted to beat her anyways. She had a PR by 2 seconds though and I ran a 16:41, my second slowest time of the season. My coach had told us our times would suck and they did. After analyzing the results, I figured that I was about 5 seconds slower that I should have been but I placed 20th.

After getting out of the chute, I waited for my teammates. One of the freshmen beat both TM and AK which was a little surprising. I was talking to AK near the line when she looked down at my legs and told me that I was bleeding. I didn't really know what she was talking about until I looked down at the lower part of my right leg. Sure enough, next to all the mud plastered on my legs, blood had dripped down. I figured it was from the girl who had spiked me on the first corner, but I was pretty proud of it. My coach came up to me and after congratulating me, he said he liked my battle scar. My dad then took some pictures of me and my muddiness before I went back to camp and talked with my teammates. I put on most of my sweats and then ran over to my down as a cooldown. I talked to him and some other people for awhile, got a conference Tshirt that raised money for breast cancer research, and then ran back to the bus when I realized my team was leaving.

I ate my Subway sandwhich, harvest chedder Sunchips (which taste amazing after a race), and chocolate chip cookie. This was going to be my last cross country bus ride and I wanted to remember it. JS and I talked on the way home, and my coach even joked around with us. Looking around at a few of my teammates who had stayed to ride the bus, as we rode home, it was sad. We all share something that binds us together. I love knowing that we have cross country in common, that we all participate in one of the greatest sports.

Our team placed 5th out of 7th, and most of varsity didn't run that well. One of the freshmen really confirmed that she was hurt and is not going to run in the next weeks. My coach seemed okay with the results the night of the race, but on Friday, he was very angry. He acted like he used to act. He was almost 15 minutes late to practice and considered skipping out on us. The week before districts, the state qualifying meet. It made me remember why I like the newer version of my coach. Regardless of this, I want to remember these next days of cross country. Remember what makes the sport so great. Remember why I am going to miss this sport. Remember why I love this sport so much.

XC RACE REPORT: WHERE THE STREETS HAVE NO NAME

2009-10-14T18:45:00.009-05:00

Last Thursday, was my last MVC Supermeet. The last time I will run on that particular course. The last time I might run against some of those teams. Cross country is almost over. But I'm not ready for it to end.

We got to leave school early because the fresh/soph girl's race began at 3:30. I was racing at 5:10 so I had a ways to go. I didn't really do much on the 30 minute bus ride except to think about what my mom had asked me that morning. She had known that I didn't have a goal and struggled more with my race last week because of that. She asked me what my goal was for this meet and so I was trying to think of one. It was the same course as last week, only with different teams. It was also colder (in the low 40's) and rainy. Out of the four times I have ran at that course though, three have been rainy, so I was used to it.

When we arrived, my coach told us to set up camp as far away from the boys as possible, because most of them don't care about xc (this didn't work because we got there first). We put up our little tent, that is kind of embarrassing because it only goes up to about half the normal height of tents. My coach talked to us for awhile and I had some snacks. We cheered on our teammates and then I began warming up with AK, because everyone else had left earlier.

As I ran the warmup, I tried to make myself realize how much I want it. Wanting it more than everyone else makes a difference. You can push yourself so much harder. I knew my legs could do it, if I made them and realized that this was something I wanted. I also tried to tell myself not to freak out if my teammates were near me. AK and the freshman, TM, were near me in the last race and it made me panic. I wanted to beat them. I was determined to just run with them though, and not try to change my race just because one of my close competitors was wearing the same jersey that I was.

During the warmup, I also passed the spot where one of my senior teammates had asked me if I was going to miss xc, at our meet the week before. I had told her that of course I was going to miss it. I remembered that I didn't have many chances left in cross country so I had to make every single one count. Including this race.

Our team was in the second box from the left. We stood around and tried to keep warm in our sweats before we had to take them off. Then we told each other good luck and the gun went off. The opening stretch is very long, about 400m, and it's wide, so you don't have to cut over right away. I felt like I got off to a little faster start than I wanted, but I managed to settle in before we turned the first corner. I wanted to get into my rhythm so I could begin running my race.

It had rained almost the entire day so the course was a mud pit. There was a big mud puddle after the first 800m that I managed to avoid but I couldn't keep away from all of it. Four races had already been run on the course which made it even muddier and the rain had made the leaves slick. There was a couple of places that felt like I wasn't even running in my spikes because I was sinking down into the mud. It didn't bother me too much though, because it reminded me of how tough xc runners are compared to everyone else.

I ran the first mile between 6:00 and 6:10; I wasn't sure what was yelled out but I think it was 6:05. This meant that I had started out faster, but I didn't know if that was a good thing. I was slightly ahead of my teammates though, so that made me feel a little better. My legs felt okay and I didn't feel tired yet.

The next part of the course involved a hill that had a slanted surface when you came down it. I still haven't figured out the best way to go down it, the right, the left, or the middle. I made it down without tripping though and made my way to a flatter stretch, where TM caught up with me. I reminded myself not to freak out and that she was just another competitor in the race. My reaction was a little better than last week but I did change my rhythm a little. I was just trying to keep up with her when we hit a spot where my legs began feeling tired. It was almost the same exact spot as last week; it was about 1.75 miles into the race. It was all I could do to remind myself of last week's quote, "when you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long". So I kept holding on.

There is a slight hill, just a little before the 2 mile mark. It really shouldn't be that big of deal but when it comes near enough to the end of a race that you feel really tired, but not close enough to the finish line for it not to matter, it really does matter a lot. I tried staying with TM as we went up that hill because I knew I would give up if she had gotten away from me. My coach was yelling as we went past him and he seemed very excited.

At almost the same part as last week, slightly before we turn the corner to the uphill finishing straightaway, TM got ahead of me. I stayed calm though and kept a little closer than I had before. I waited until a little after the corner before giving everything. I sprinted past TM and climbed up the hill. I just told myself that I had to get up the hill and then I was at the finish line, although that isn't true. But once it was flat, I knew I could make it. I could see the numbers changing on the clock and the people beside me that passed me going one way or the other. I finished in 15:52, but that's really all I remember about finishing. According to the results, there was a girl right in front of me who finished in the same time, but I can seriously not remember anything about it. I didn't even know in the chute. I took 18th place, with TM getting 20th, in 15:57. AK didn't have her best race and was farther back. TM told me after I had congratulated her, that she sucks at sprinting at the end. I told her it was because she had left it all out on the rest of the course and then I found my parents. I felt a little dizzy after my race though, kind of like the week before.

AK and I did our cooldown together, which consisted of running from camp to the middle of the finishing straight, cheering on the varsity boys, and then running back to camp. We were cold, wet, and tired. Then, the few of us that were riding the bus home had to wait for about 45 minutes because both our coachs had just left us. It was getting dark out, and my pants, socks, and shoes were wet. We all talked to each other though, talking about random topics, with a feeling that can only be felt after a race. It's like everyone is relieved and happy and free of almost all emotions. It's when you feel like you are really yourself and you can talk about anything. And when we finally made it back to the bus, that feeling stayed. My coach was really happy because we placed fifth and he thought that at best, we'd get 6th. We actually beat a ranked team. Then our team all joked around with each other (after changing into dry clothes) and it was just fun. This doesn't happen in track, because the sprinters are there. It only happens in cross country, and I'm really going to miss it.

I talked to my coach the next morning so I could look at the results. I only briefly looked at my time, and I didn't even look at my place. What I really cared about was my place when the runners not in our district were taken out. The top ten individuals and top three teams make it to state. I counted down the list and realized that I would have been 9th. Ninth place. I could have a chance. Three of the four teams that had beat us though, are in our district. And one of those teams was not running their number two runner, who probably would have placed second. That bumps me down to 10th. I'm on the edge. But looking at this meet, it did go okay. I had a PR. It was my third race under sixteen minutes. What I have to remember though, is that I want it.

XC RACE REPORT: HOLDING ON

2009-09-30T20:41:00.012-05:00

"When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on so long in the first place." ~Unknown

Once upon a time, when I was slow(er), I used to listen to all the fast girls complain about their fast times. They didn't know that I would love to even run what they considered their bad times. And now that I am one of those fast girls, I remember that. I remember them saying how how they had a terrible race and that they completely sucked. And I remember thinking that I would do almost anything to run that time. So I will remember this as I write this post.

It was looking good coming into Tuesday's meet. We were running at a fast course about a half an hour away. The course is pretty flat and my coach is always telling us it's short. We ignore him though because the course makes us feel good. Most of the time. The day of the meet was beautiful too. The skies were blue, a pretty color with no clouds. It was also in the mid 60's so it was a lot cooler than Thursday's meet.

The only problem was, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I had beaten sixteen. That has been my goal for so long, that I really didn't know what my goal for this meet should be. The girl I have been running with, was going to a different meet, and I wasn't sure about the other teams that were going to be at our meet. I wanted to do well in my race, of course, but I didn't have that one specific thing that I felt I needed to accomplish.

The varsity girls were running last, supposedly at 5:45. We arrived around 3:45 while the boy's bus had taken a right turn instead of a left, so they were not to be seen until twenty minutes later. During this time, we realized the starting line had been moved back (making the course the right length my coach said), and that we were now running at 6:10. The boy's race had been split into JV and fresh/soph, moving our times back. They made this decision about an hour before the first race, which made the guy's coach mad, and they said we had to give back out pins from our numbers, which made him even more mad. Plus, the guy's team still wasn't there, so it was getting kind of funny.

We still had awhile before our race so we just laid around camp. When the guy's finally arrived, one of them got into a huge argument with the coach, which was actually quite funny. While we were waiting, the guy's varsity team also took three large sticks and managed to put them in some kid's sweats so it looked like a person. This was absolutely hilarious. The guy's all posed with it for pictures, but even funnier was the kid's reaction after he came back from his race. It was very entertaining.

We began warming up about an hour before our race. My legs felt okay but the weather felt good. More importantly, I didn't feel like I did on Monday. It had been windy that day, so my pollen/hay fever allergies were really bothering me. My back hurt from sleeping upright most of the night and my throat hurt a little from my nose draining but I was feeling a lot better. The only thing that didn't feel okay, was how I actually felt. There are some days when you feel like running, and others when you don't. I tried to convince myself that I wanted to race, but I just wasn't feeling it.

My coach was talking to the rest of the varsity team while I was talking to my parents but he was done by the time I came over. He told me that JV and fresh/soph didn't do as well because they didn't realize that even though it was a fast course, you still have to run fast. He told me I already knew that though and I was out for blood and guts. Then as I walked away to go stretch, he told me that I was so money, I didn't even know it.

I stood on the starting line, shivering because I had just taken off my sweats, and looking at the people lining both sides of the beginning of the course. I didn't know what I wanted to do or what I could do. What I was going to do, however, was my absolute best. And then the race began.

Since I've only really raced with one of the teams at the meet, I wasn't sure where I should start out. I felt like I didn't know what I was doing at all. I did not feel in control. Or relaxed. Especially when I knew AK and one of the freshmen were right behind me after a mile. Which I finished in 6:10, so it's not like I was going all that slow. But my legs weren't feeling all that fast, so this was getting me a little worried. And I knew I should be more concerned about racing other people and trying to get our team a good place, but I wasn't. I was concerned about being the first in from my team. It's not like I'd be mad at them if they beat me, but it is just something I feels like I have to do.

I was about halfway through when the freshman caught up to me and I realized AK was right behind me. I didn't focus on beating other people when this happened, I focused on beating my own teammates. I wasn't sure if I could do it though. My legs were getting tired and my upper body felt stuffed up. I was coughing up the stuff that was draining from my noise but since I'm not coordinated enough to spit while I race, it just stayed in my throat. And this is where I have to honor JS (who now has a stress fracture in each femur, she's that talented). She runs with asthma and allergies, and I haven't realized how hard it really is until I ran that race.

I stayed with my teammates during the race. AK was right behind me, so I wasn't sure how she felt, but the freshman was right beside me and she was looking strong. I wanted to slow down, to go easier. To maybe run right behind her. But I knew that if I did that, then I would just start falling back. If I got behind too far from the finish line, I would give up and I wouldn't have even a chance to beat my teammates. I knew that, so I kept going. And really, the only reason I did as well as I did, was because of my teammates. If they hadn't been there right beside me, I might have fallen apart. So in a way, I guess I have to appreciate that.

With 800m left, we were basically in the same position. I wasn't really racing anyone else besides my two teammates. And I was giving everything I could to stay with them. About 25m before we turned the corner to the finishing straight (an uphill 400m), I slipped behind the freshman. I wasn't thinking about times or places, I just thought about how I needed to beat my teammates in the last straightaway.

She was ahead of me by a little bit after we turned the corner and began making our way to the finish line. But I kept going, slowly inching my way back to her. I knew that I could pass her, but then I would have to hang on until the line. But when I did pass her, it gave me a little extra something. I was not going to let them beat me. I was going to be the first one in on our team. I wanted it so much. It was something I had to do for myself. So I dug everything out. I didn't know how far behind they were, or what time I was coming in at, or what place I was in. I just kept sprinting. Up a very long finishing straight. It didn't seem this long in our warmup but it seemed like the race just kept going on. Finally I reached the flags near the line and saw a girl in front of me. We were so close to the line, but I reached down and found a little more. I passed her near the line and then I was in the chute. I had beat my teammates. And I had finished in 15:54. Which is a second faster than last Thursday.

That race hurt. There was no smiling or marching through the chute or feeling like I could keep on running. It did not feel good. But I did it. I had made it. And I was done with my race. So I congratulated my teammates as they came out of the chute. I grabbed some water and talked to my parents. My coach came over to me and asked me how it felt. I told him it wasn't good. He said that I didn't look in control or relaxed like last week. Probably because I didn't feel that way.

I did a quick cooldown with AK (who was 8 seconds behind me and a second ahead of the freshman). Then I grabbed a cookie and a bagel before walking back to the bus. The ride home was a lot of fun. It was during this ride as I looked at the beautiful sunset, that I realized that I wouldn't get to do this much more. It's different in track because everyone else is there. But in xc when it's just my teammates and my coach, it's so much fun. I'm really going to miss that.

I don't know how I managed to run my race as fast as I did. All I know, is that it really felt like I ran my race as fast as it did. But I didn't give up and I got through it. Bringing myself just another step closer.

XC RACE REPORT: THE REAL THING

2009-09-24T21:57:00.018-05:00

"There is a moment in every race. A moment where you can either quit, fold, or say to yourself "I can do this." ~Gatorade Ad

I have always wondered what it would be like to accomplish what I did today. I have thought about how it would happen, where it would happen, and when it would happen. I have thought about what it would feel like when I finally did it. What I now know is this, the real thing is way better than anything my imagination could come up with.

When I wake up on race days, I evalute how my legs feel before I even get out of bed. They happened to feel good on this particular Thursday. And when I saw that scattered showers were in the forcast, they felt even better. It seemed like everyone was helping me get ready to run fast at my meet however. We had tortellini at lunch as it continued to be a lovely day of rain and clouds outside. They played my songs on the radio and Fabian Cancellara flew to the world time trial championships win. Even as the sun came out outside, it remained cool. All these events just accumulated to my feeling of 'I can do this'.

Today's meet was on our home course. The course that I have ran so many practices and meets at. The course that holds so many memories. But I wanted to add another memory. I wanted to break 16. I came close two weeks ago but I wanted the full accomplishment this time. Last week, I almost didn't want to break 16 because I wanted it to happen here. At home. It would mean so much more if I could finally break 16 and have it happen at my home course. Not because of who would be there, it's not like more people really come and watch us. I just wanted it to happen on my course.

I arrived at 4:15 for our 5:20 race. The JV/fresh soph race was combined, making our start time earlier. We were also allowed to run 10 on varsity, because only 8 teams were at the meet. This meant JS could have another chance to run varsity, even though she was our 8th fastest. This was such a weird coincidence that we agreed it was meant to be.

We ran the first part of the course as our warmup, doing a combination of walking and running. My legs were feeling pretty good, but I wasn't sure if that was just the adrenaline. More importantly, I was looking forward to the race. Positive feelings affect my running more than you might think. It was during our warmup however, that we noticed something was missing. Something important. Portapotties. There is only a couple of things that are needed for an xc meet: a field/golf course/park, white spray painted lines, a golf cart/atv/other vehicle to lead the runners, and portapotties. This meant that all the runners would have to use two different park bathrooms. One of them had only a half wall separating the toilets that faced the door, and the other had actually stalls but without the doors. Obviously, more male designed bathrooms.

Once we had gone on our bathroom adventure, we returned to camp and began stretching. I was stretching my calves against a tree when my coach came up to me to give me my number. He told me he had a surprise for me and pulled out the number one. I was going to wear number one. This was so incredibly cool. AK got thto wear 7, the second best number. I figured I had better honor my number in some way though because it might just give me an extra bit of luck.

It was sunny and kind of warm as we stood on the starting line. We were in an outside box (again) and I was on the edge. One of my teammates offered to trade with me so I wouldn't have to cut in as much, but I declined her offer. Number one should start at the beginning of the line afterall. And so the race began.

My coach had told us to start out a little slower so I wasn't concerned about being towards the front in the beginning. The girl that I ran with before was way ahead of me but I was just moving up slowly. We can all run the first mile afterall but it's the last 1.5 where you have to hang on. In spite of this, I ran my first 800 in 2:57. I then held myself back a little as we ran through the crowds along the trees. As we ran the first two loops, I did not fall. This was especially good because people were lined up on both sides to watch. Even though there were fewer teams here, it seemed like there was even more people. There was even a guy with some sort of drum or bell that was very loud but wasn't very appreciated. We left him behind however when we crossed the bridge and ran up the hill in the TdF style crowd. Throughout the first mile though, I just kept repeating to myself, sixteen, sixteen.

My first mile was done in about 6:10. I didn't start out that much slower but my legs still felt good. I was determined to make the second mile better than it had been two weeks ago. I was going to remember my goal every step. Sixteen, sixteen. Or rather, under sixteen.

The second mile was ran near the girl I have been running with. Instead of being content to run behind her, I focused on moving up past her. I was doing this when I passed a group of girls from another school. They were cheering for someone else when one of them noticed my number. Because there were no other people around, besides those racing around me, I could clearly hear them as they yelled "Look she's number one. Oh cool, she's number one. Go number one! Gooo number one!" I don't know who these people were or what school they were from, but I greatly appreciated their cheering. It made me feel just a little bit more special and helped me run even faster.

I ran back over the bridge and was past the crowds when I could hear my coach yelling from a distance. He wasn't yelling advice, just my name and telling my I was doing a great job. Just something like "Come on, come on, you're doing great. Atta kid". This, combined with the fact that I was going to everything I could to beat 16, made me pass the girl that I had been running with. I have ran behind her, next to her, and slightly ahead of her, but this time, I just left her behind. I concentrated on the group that was about ten or fifteen seconds ahead of me. I had to get under sixteen minutes.

I ran up a short steep corner hill and a long, flat, slightly downhill part before I reached the two mile mark. At 12:59. I don't think I have ever reached that point so fast before. But that's not what I was thinking. I was thinking about how I would have to run my last 800 about as fast as my first 800 to beat sixteen. This seemed almost impossible. I wasn't sure if I could do it. But then I thought to myself, I'm already two miles in and I'm going to have to do it sometime. And I wanted it. I wanted to beat sixteen so badly. So I was going to do everything possible to make it to the line in under sixteen minutes. I was going to do everything I could.

I took off after the two mile marker. I didn't think about how long I had to go, or how fast I had to go. I just thought about breaking sixteen. I was sprinting with all I had left when the girl I had been running with during the rest of the race caught up to me. We were about 600m before the line and sprinting with everthing we had. But it was then I realized that we weren't really racing each other. I actually didn't really care if she beat me, as long as I beat the clock. And because this was the 16:00.07 girl, I have to say that she might've felt the same way.

I was slightly ahead of her when we entered the finishing loop. Some guy cheered for me and then told me that I was in 8th place. As I heard the cheering for the winners, I realized that I was going to have my first top ten finish in a varsity cross country race. But I really didn't care about that. I cared about my time. Sixteen, sixteen.

I entered the finishing straight with one lone girl ahead of me. I did not think about beating her when I passed her. I thought about the clock. And how much I wanted it. So when my legs screamed at me to stop and my tired body told me to slow down, I just told myself that it was only for a little bit longer. And I reminded myself what this meant to me, how long I had worked towards breaking that barrier. When my dad shouted out "15:29, you have to go faster" or something like that, I went faster. I wasn't sure where the people were behind me. I wasn't sure if I would make it. But I gave everything. Absolutely everything. And I crossed the finish line to see those beautiful numbers on my watch. 15:54. As in fifteen minutes. As in, I had just broken sixteen minutes. I looked down at my watch a couple of seconds later to make sure that I hadn't seen it wrong. I didn't want it to be really close to sixteen, where my official time could be different and over sixteen. But when I looked down at my watch again, it said 15:57. I had done it. I broke sixteen.

I had a huge smile on my face as I marched through the chute and tore the tag of my number one. I wanted to scream and shout and tell everyone what I had just done. Instead, I kept on smiling. The winner of the race, whose name is spoken with admiration on our team, congratulated me. I stayed and congratulated my own teammates as they came out of the chute. I told JS about what I had just done and she gave me a high five. My coach came over to me and told me that I looked strong, relaxed, and in control during my race. He then asked what my time was and I told him it was under sixteen minutes. And then I walked back to camp with a smile on my face.

"I think I did it" was what I said to my parents when I walked towards them. They knew what I had been trying to do. My teammates all congratulated me afterwards. I then changed into my shoes and went with AK to do my cooldown. We only ran and walked about a mile. My legs felt like they could keep going though and I was going pretty fast. I was so excited, I wanted to keep on running.

There was popsicles waiting for us at camp when we got back. I waited to have one until my coach came over to me and told me my official time. 15:55. Fifteen minutes and fifty five seconds. A lot of fives but no sixes. I had officially broken sixteen minutes. And in the process of doing so, I took 7th place overall and received a ribbon. My team had taken fourth, finally beating the rich, parochial kids with the nice cars (as my coach called them) from down the street.

I wanted to break sixteen minutes. I wanted it so much, that I ran the last 800 faster than the first 800. When I looked down at my watch, to see 15:54, it was worth it. And that is why I run those long miles in the summer and winter. For that feeling. That feeling of accomplishment, achievement, and happiness. Knowing that I did it. Knowing that I had finally broke sixteen.

XC RACE REPORT: JUST RUN. DON'T FALL.

2009-09-17T21:22:00.009-05:00

In honor of Jens Voigt, I gave a tribute at my cross country meet. It is his 38th birthday afterall (although I did think it was the 19th until I double checked) but apparently my body knew it and felt it had to honor him in some way. I didn't have an epic run, I didn't break 16, I didn't feel amazing, although I might've had my mask of pain on. There are so many ways that I could've honored him in my race so I could've chose a different one. But I didn't. Instead, I fell. As in faceplant on the ground. During my race. It wasn't as bad as Jens' crash in the Tour this year, but it was incredibly embarrassing.

We left for the meet 15 minutes late, at 2:45 because two stupid freshmen forgot to leave early. I'm not sure how, because I always glanced at the clock every five minutes until I could leave. I had to make sure to eat a lot on the hour bus ride because I did not want to get hungry. I ate granola bars and did math homework until we arrived. To find that the tree we usually camped by had been cut down and that they didn't have free colorful shoelaces.

My teammates and I cheered everyone on until it was time to warmup. One of our fresh/soph girls won her race which is awesome and puts her back on varsity, which should make her feel good. JS and I warmed up separately because everyone had left while we were waiting in line for the portapotties (the other bathrooms had no doors, who makes girl's restrooms with no doors? the answer would probably have to be guys). It was pretty warm out, in the 70's and sunny. My legs were feeling okay but not great. I kept telling myself to just run though because it's been kind of a hectic week. I didn't run on Monday because I spent the day on a visit to Iowa State. My legs weren't feeling the best on the two days before this meet either. I wanted to ignore that though. I wanted to block everything else out and just run.

We were in the inside box at the starting line. Our team seems to get the end boxes a lot, so it doesn't bother me that much. I tried to get out fast at the start, which is something I've been working on, so I was towards the front. My legs were feeling okay, nothing special was in them. I really wanted to beat 16 though so I kept telling myself to fight every single step. My first mile was in 6:08. Before we get to the first mile mark, we run around a small pond and every year there's people playing music on the drums when we run by. It makes the course a little more fun. The course had been changed a little, so about halfway through we didn't make the extra loop that I thought we did. This threw me off a little but it made it seem shorter. I then ran through a really small, short ditch that made me incredibly tired. I was only halfway through but there was something about that ditch that my legs didn't like. I was slowing down a little bit but I continued to fight.

About 100m later, we ran right next to a row of trees. They were full grown trees with large roots that went onto the course. I was running on the left side, closest to the trees, when I gracefully tripped over a tree root and fell on my face. It seemed to happen really quickly, like all of a sudden I was on the ground. I remember saying something like "oh crap" and then getting back up, hoping nobody from my school saw me, because it was very embarrassing. I had been running ahead of a few girls and they were beside me when I got up. There was about four or five of them and most of them said something to me like "good job" or "keep going" or something. I sprinted ahead, while looking for people from my school and hoping that they didn't see what I had just done. I felt like a total idiot. I was just really surprised because I went down and got up so quickly. I certainly didn't expect to do a faceplant during my race.

I was trying to assess my injuries while catching up to the girls that I had been running with. My palms stung and so did my elbows. My right hip and knee hurt where I had landed on them. I was hoping that I was bleeding anywhere so no one would notice that I had fallen. I didn't want to look though, because that might have discouraged me. My thoughts weren't even on finishing the race anymore, all I could think about was how I had fallen.

I knew that I was going a lot slower towards the end but my legs just didn't have the extra bit of something special. I'm not sure what it was, but I just didn't feel it. I crossed the little ditch for the second time and it exhausted me. I had about a half mile to go and I knew I had to do something. I just kept telling myself to fight every single step, which is what I didn't do at our Saturday meet. My teammates were catching up behind me and my legs were getting tired but I fought every step. And I didn't fall when I went by the trees the second time.

The finish line was downhill and I didn't let anyone pass me. I finished in 16:29, which isn't that good. I can't blame it all on my fall either, because my legs were tired and not feeling it during the race. I finished in 25th place but my teammates were only seconds behind. I congratulated AK and one of the freshman who had finished near me. Another of the freshman was upset because people had passed her in the chute and she didn't know what to do about it. I tried to calm her down while talking with some of my teammates and making sure they hadn't seen me fall. They made me feel a little better while I was waiting for JS to finish. She was the last person on varsity to come and she took off for camp right afterwards. I knew that she was going to cooldown by herself because she was upset so I talked to a few of my other teammates. One of them couldn't stop laughing when I told her that I had tripped but then we all started laughing about it once they kept telling me it was because I was running so fast. I did come to the conclusion though, that none of my teammates, my coach, or my dad had seen me fall. This made me feel a little better but I was kind of upset about my time. I left my mark on the course though, which I had been trying to do.

AK and I began cooling down together. We talked about the race and then we talked about JS. I had just realized that she had ran the 8th fastest time on our team which meant she might not get to run varsity at the next meet. My coach really likes her though and as AK said, it would crush her. And that was when we walked up a hill and saw her sitting by herself on the ground with her arms around her knees and her head down. We stopped for a second and I looked at her, and the course under the setting sun, and the other people cooling down in the distance. It made me feel so sad. This is the part of cross country, of any sport, that you don't see. Where everything doesn't work out. And which some people will never understand.

AK and I began to walk again, trying to figure out what to do. We didn't think she had seen us so we could just keep walking. We had walked past her down the hill where we were getting close to our other teammates, when I turned around and walked back up the hill to sit next to JS. At that moment, I had to stop being her teammate and start being her friend. I knew that I would have wanted someone beside me. AK and I sat next to her for awhile, not saying anything because we didn't know what to say. JS finally told us that she was going to go walk by herself so we went back to camp. We got our subway and got back on the bus for the ride home. AK and I sat in the back and we had a lot of fun talking with some of our teammates. We seemed to talk about everything except the race.

I'm not sure what to think about this race. My legs felt like they were missing something and then I gracefully fell on my face. My right knee has some scrapes on it, and my left knee and right arm have some bruises. I kind of like my battle wounds in a way. They remind me of the time during spring break, earlier this year, when I scraped up my right leg when I tripped while running by myself. They're just another part of running. What worried me a little more was my legs. They were just missing something. My attitude during the race did become a lot better, in the way I kept fighting. This race was certainly a different one though and it leaves me a another goal. To not fall.

XC RACE REPORT: GETTING CLOSER

2009-09-12T13:31:00.009-05:00

"Life is not having and getting, but being and becoming." ~Matthew Arnold

The goal of this meet was to break 16:00. It was my home course and my legs felt good. It was only 75 degrees and one of my friends was coming to watch us. Everything seemed to be working right, I felt like I could actually break 16:00. But I didn't.

I was supposed to run at 6:15 so I had a couple of hours to wait after school. I cannot do homework before a meet, except if it involves math, so the wait was spent staring at the wall and thinking about my meet. Not the most productive use of time but I just can't concentrate on homework.

My mom dropped me off at the course because there's usually nowhere to park. We picked up my senior photo proofs before hand but I still arrived a little early at 4:45. I had to walk aways before I got to our camp which was where my coach and the guy's coach had parked their trucks in the grass, right next to the course. While I was walking there, I could see all of the colorful tents amongst the trees and surrounded by people. It was a sight that could only happen in cross country, but one I have seen many times before. It is sometimes these little moments that make me begin to miss cross country, even more than I already do.

There was four of us on varsity who started warming up at 5:05, which was earlier than ususal. I know every bit of this course so I didn't need to worry about where we were going. I know where the low tree branches are and where geese gather by the pond. This course is so full of memories but I was ready to make a new one. My legs were even feeling so much better than Saturday's meet, which was good because I intended to redeem myself at this meet.

As I stood on the starting line, waiting for the gun to go off, I was actually excited. I wanted to race. That moment is usually full of panic and doubts but for some reason I was confident in myself. I could look at the line of people stretching along both sides of where the course began and believe that I could do this.

The gun went off and the race began. The course is ideal for spectating because it begins with two loops similar to a track, in which people can run between. There is always people lined up along the straightaways in these loops screaming and yelling. It's hard to hear what anyone is saying but it's awesome anyways. It makes it feel like the race matters. It gets better when the course crosses a bridge and goes up a slight hill before turning the corner. People line up all the way from the bridge to the top of the hill and they're all cheering. It reminds me of the mountains in the Tour. Only without the flags and the costumes.

I finished the first mile in 6:04. I felt like I started out a little too fast but I was keeping up with a girl from another team that I had wanted to run with. My legs were still feeling pretty good but the next part of the course is the biggest challenge. For about half a mile, the course winds through a flat part and then up and down a slight hill before heading through trees and crossing back over the bridge. There's really nothing difficult about the makeup of the course, it's the fact that there is no one there. There is no one cheering or yelling at you to go faster. There is no one telling you what to do. You have to make the decision to go faster, without anyone influencing you. This is the realest part of cross country, when the only sounds are of feet pounding and people breathing hard. This is where the race becomes mental, when you decide how much you want it.

I was halfway through this part, just before the hill, when I realized that I had been telling myself to slow down because my legs hurt. I then told myself that duh, of course my legs hurt, because this was a race. The girl that I wanted to run with was a couple of steps in front of me but I began closing down the small gap. I knew that this part of the course was where each person made the decision of how much they wanted it. I decided that I wanted it, I wanted to break 16:00. So I ran faster.

After crossing back over the bridge, I had caught back up with the girl as people lined the course again. We ran side by side for awhile. In a way, we were both helping ourselves and the other person at the same time. Without her, I might not have ran as fast but I was also pushing her to keep going.

During this time, my coach was getting pretty excited. Instead of saying good job or keep up with those girls or something similar, he had changed his yelling. He was saying "come on kid, you're doing great". He kept calling me kid instead of my name. It was a little weird but I kind of liked it because it made me feel like I had moved up in my status ranking. Like he was believing in me even more.

After two miles, the girl had moved a little in front of me and another girl was right beside me. The three of us ran the rest of the race together. The two other girls had moved ahead of me and they stayed that way through the last straightaway. I told myself that even if I could beat them to the finish line, I would make sure no one else would pass me before the finish line. I kept that promise as I crossed the line. In over 16 minutes.

I received a yellow ribbon for 27th place out of 126 girls. As I got out of the chute, it seemed like everyone else had people to greet them except me. I stood there waiting to congratulate my teammates. Four of the girls had come in close together but they left to go back to our camp right away. I waited for JS to leave the chute because I knew that she really wanted to do well in this race. And I knew that she didn't do as well as she had wanted. I walked back to camp behind her and I couldn't think of who we were missing. It turns out the our 7th member had a really bad race and came in at over 18:00. I felt bad for her because my coach said she couldn't run varsity during the next race, even though he probably knew that it was just one bad race. He did take the top seven times though, so I guess that is fair.

I did not break 16:00 in this race. I finished in 16:05. I was probably happier than the girl I had ran most of the race with though, because she had finished in 16:00.07. I actually feel bad for her and I hope she breaks the barrier soon, as I hope to do. The race did go okay for me though. I might not have gotten the time I really wanted, but I was 61 seconds faster than Saturday. I showed everyone that it was just a bad race at that meet. I was ready to run fast again and my coach was proud of how I did. I do think that I could have handled the mental aspect of the race a little better, especially when there was no one around to cheer, but I am proud of how I did. The race made me feel a lot better because I showed myself that I was ready to race again.

BELIEVE

2009-09-10T15:04:00.003-05:00

On Monday, we ran hard and fast at practice. I gained a lot of my confidence back. We did 5 800's with 200m running rest in between. I finished 200m ahead of the people behind me and lapped almost everybody not on varsity. I wanted to show everyone that I can run fast. So I did.

My coach later asked me about Saturday's meet when I was done. We agreed that it was just a bad day. The most important thing he said was that he wasn't scared. He believes in me. And now I'm starting to do the same.

JENS IS BACK!!

2009-09-08T21:17:00.003-05:00

And he is in Missouri. Which means on Saturday, he will be about four hours away from me. So close, yet so far away. Also in that bordering state are big George, Cav, and Thor Hushovd. And they will get as close as four hours. So, so close. At least Jens Voigt is riding again. And is back to himself.

XC RACE REPORT: THE OTHER SIDE

2009-09-05T22:43:00.009-05:00

"If I could just see you
Everything would be alright"
~"Storm" by Lifehouse

"The sweat and tears
You can channel all of your fears
Open your eyes, your eyes
Indeed it will be alright"
~"Dreamer" by Chris Brown

As much as I don't want to write about this race, I will. Because it's not only the good that makes up cross country, it's also the bad. But before I write about this, I want to say that I'm not really angry or sad. I'm disappointed.

Our team was supposed to meet at school at 7:45 this morning to travel to a meet two hours away. I woke up at 6:30 feeling a little tired. I went to a football game last night which might not have been the best idea but I still got some sleep. Plus, even though my legs were tired and sore from our meet on Tuesday, I had been trying to run a little easier, at least when warming up and cooling down.I wasn't sure how my legs would feel after the meet and a week of practices but they didn't feel that bad this morning.

My friend JS was the last one to arrive for the bus (and it was a charter bus, how awesome) so we were the last ones to get on. We somehow seem to always be the last ones on for some reason, so we had to sit behind our coach and the guy's coach. The bus ride was a little long but fun. I ate snacks until 9:45 because our coach told us we were going to run at 12:00. I didn't want to get hungry during my race but I didn't want to eat too close to the race.

We arrived in the parking lot at around 10:00. Then we had to walk practically half the course just to get to the starting line. Our coach had told us that the course was flat and that we'd have some good times here but from what we walked, it was pretty hilly. The guy's college race was just beginning when we got to the starting line and set up camp. There was lots of people everywhere because there was so many different teams. A lot of small teams were there but there was also some large, pretty good teams.

At around 10:45, the varsity team discovered that we were not running at 12:00. That is when JV ran, we were running at 12:30 but our coach had told us the wrong time. I was okay with this since I was beginning to not want to do this meet. I just wasn't feeling it. When my coach called the rest of varsity over and told them to run together it made me feel a little more confident because he said that I would be ahead of them.

JS and I started walking the course (which was basically all uphill or downhill) backwards so she could loosen up her legs and we could figure out where we were going. We didn't make it back in time to warmup with the others so we did a little running on our own. Except we ended up at the finish line (uphill). When we had started at the finish line. Which created a little bit of a problem. By that time though, it was getting warm out and closer to our race. We began at the starting line (uphill) and ran a little more until we found out where the course went. Then we stretched for a bit until we found out the meet was running behind. As in the JV girls started at 12:24 and not 12:00. As in, we weren't started at 12:30 either. Which was also okay with me, because I really wasn't feeling it, I wasn't very excited.

We were doing strides at the starting line when my coach came over. He told us, among other things, that the race really started at the top of a long, gradual hill, which was about a mile in. And then he told us to have fun. So I stood at the line and took off when the gun was shot off. I ran up the uphill start and then down the downhill. I made my way near the front with girls that I had finished with at our first meet. Even though my legs didn't want to. They were telling me that I wouldn't be able to keep up this pace. But I didn't listen, because that's part of cross country. Telling your body to shut up and do what you tell it, as Jens Voigt would say.

I made it to the top of the hill, were my coach said the race actually started, in a 6:22 mile. It was a harder hill then it seemed and it was only one of the first of many. And I was tired. My legs were so tired. I had 1.5 miles to go and I was beginning to hit the wall.

There was not many points during the race that really stood out for me. I was just slowly, slowing down. I knew I was too. But it was like I couldn't do anything about it. My legs couldn't go, they didn't have enough energy. And so, as people passed me (and many did) I let them go because I was just going to run my own steady pace. And I was beginning not to care. I just wanted to get this over with. All the while I was slowing down.

There was a steep hill on the course that was not really necessary and very mean. It was towards the middle/end and I knew it was coming up. The little hills were really tiring me out so I wasn't sure how I would get up this hill. I knew it was coming and when I saw it, I knew that I had to get up it somehow and that it didn't matter if I had good form or not, I was getting up it as fast as I could and then moving on. I made it over the hill but I was still getting slower. And I knew my teammates were closing in behind. But I was caring less and less. I didn't even care when my coach was yelling at me that I needed to start something right now. Because I had nothing left.

Somehow, I made it to where the flags began, about 400-600m before the finish line. I'm not even sure how I really got there but I did. Coaches were yelling all over the place for kids to move up. And I let them pass me. I just didn't have anything in my legs to go with them, I hadn't since the first mile. I was just so tired.

When my first teammate passed me, I was prepared. Kind off. I knew that I had been slowing down a lot but I wasn't sure exactly how much because I didn't want to look at my watch and be discouraged anymore. Usually, when my teammates come near me, I try to go with them and at least keep up with them for awhile, putting up some kind of fight. I let her go by. I let the next one go by. I didn't begin sprinting because my legs were screaming no at me. But when we turned the corner and the finish line was about 200m away, I knew I had to do something. I knew that I had at least two teammates right behind me and I wasn't going to let any more of them beat me. So I took everything I had left and ran, not letting anyone else pass me before the line. That wonderful line that told me I could rest even if I did run 17:06, almost a minute slower than the first meet. My calves cramped up because I was racing in my spikes but it still felt good. At least my legs felt better. But I didn't. Because I didn't do what I was supposed to do, what I had to do.

By the time I had gotten out of the chute, I was very upset. I wanted to lay down on the grass and cry. But I didn't. I got water for JS, who was about to fall over, and myself. I congratulated all my teammates, those who passed me, and those I had managed to keep ahead of. I played the good team member but it was hard. I smiled and told everyone they did a good job. But I was so disappointed in myself. So disappointed. But I sat there and drank my water. And watched my coach walk around and congratulate everyone on the team except me. He didn't talk to me. Part of me knew that I deserved it, that I didn't earn it. The other part of me just wanted him to say something, anything because I had really done what I could during the race. But of course he didn't. He didn't say anything.

JS and I walked around part of the course together as our cooldown. I was glad to get away from the team because I was upset with myself. And JS would know that and she would understand because she's be dealing with running problems of her own. She listened to me while I found the words to say that my legs just didn't have the energy to run. She listened to me and basically told me that it was okay. And then we made up our own excuses, even though I don't like excuses, even though I had told myself earlier that there was going to be no excuses, because I needed something to tell my family, to tell others. But I couldn't tell them to myself. I know the result of the race is mine, whether bad or good.

I went home with my family so I didn't have to face a two hour bus ride with a coach who didn't talk to me. Or a team that did pretty good. I'm not sure I could've been the good teammate for two hours after the meet. As I rode home though, my iPod seemed to know how I felt. It was playing just the songs I needed. On the TV, later today, was just the movie I needed. One of my favorites, the Sound of Music.

I'm still disappointed in myself though. Because, as I tell myself over and over, there are no excuses. If my legs were tired and sore after our first meet, then I could've taken it easy at practice. I could've done more, or rather less, during the workouts. I didn't have to be so competitive at practice. But I really wanted to do something really good at the meet. Instead, I'm a little mad and a little sad. Partly because I let my teammates beat me, partly because I let other teams beat me, partly because of my time. But mostly I am disappointed because I didn't do what I was supposed to. I let my family down, my teammates, my coach, and most of all, I let myself down.

XC RACE REPORT: THE LAST FIRST MEET

2009-09-01T21:25:00.011-05:00

"Even the wrong words seem to rhyme." ~"Collide" by Howie Day

My last first cross country meet. My last high school cross country season is officially beginning. So this was the meet where I wanted to do something special. Something that would make me smile. I wanted to show everyone how fast I could run after working so hard to get that fast. Something good.

This was the last time I will run at the place my first ever meet took place. The meet where it was over 95 degrees without the heat index and four people were taken to the hospital. The meet where a kid next to our camp was being given oxygen, there were four or five ambulances, and multiple fire trucks and police cars. The place that welcomed me to cross country.

I was nervous all day, as I usually am so I couldn't concentrate at school. I wasn't freaking out as I thought I would, but most of what I thought about had to do with the meet. My legs were feeling pretty good but I was still a little nervous. The first meet is always different because it's the first meet. This is when we find out exactly how fast everyone is. Who can run what. Not just on other teams, but in your own team. I wanted to be the fastest from my school. I'd like my teammates to be fast, especially AK and JS because their my best friends on the team, but I want to be faster. I wanted to make my coach proud. I wanted to make myself proud. I wanted to run a race that would make my last first meet a good one. So this wasn't just any race.

I got lost twice going to the school where the meet was being held. I was driving myself and it's not like I know that area well. I usually am good with directions so it might have been me being nervous. I ended up getting there a couple minutes before 4:35, when we were going to warm up. I was running at 5:35, in the middle of the meet. The weather was actually okay, only about 70 degrees; sunny with blue skies and white fluffy clouds.

We ran and walked one lap of the course. Two laps makes it the full 4k, including a hill that you go up twice each lap, and part of the track that is where you finish. It's not a bad course, just one that sucks in the heat because there's no shade. There is a steep and short little hill in one place that is short enough to sprint up but steep enough to hurt your legs. The other hill isn't that bad, it's just a matter of getting up it.

As we watched the fresh/soph race finish, I began getting very nervous. Two of the freshmen, who were supposed to run around 18:00, both ran under 17:00. My coach told me, AK, and JS that we should run around 17:00. I would have to run under 17:00 just to beat the freshmen. The pressure was on.

Our race started five minutes late because the fresh/soph boys race started late. My legs were feeling pretty good but I was still a little nervous. Before I walked over to the starting line to do strides with my teammates, my coach came over and high fived me. He told me that he thought I could run 16:20. I'm not sure he knew that my PR was 16:24. It gave me a little extra confidence though. After he said this to me, I turned around and started walking again. Then he said, wait, one more thing. He told me to have fun. He is definately not the kind of coach to say that. At all. But when he said that to me, he meant it. It made me remember what I was doing out there in the first place. To have fun.

We were in box three, on the right side. And I was ready. The first race of the season. My last first cross country race. And so the race started.

It's only about 200m before you hit the main hill so everyone is bunched up and elbowing each other. I ran along the outside, in the longer grass, with AK so we could pass people. Going down the hill, I passed AK and kept moving up. My legs wanted to race. And so I kept going.

There's a part of the course that loops around a soccer field. There was a sign by the field that said "this is not a practice field". I'm not sure why it was there but it reminded me that this was not practice. This was a meet. And that I needed to impress some people, to prove something.

Around that same field, after the short steep hill that takes the course next to the road, there wasn't really anyone there. It was quiet, with the only sounds being everyone's ragged breathing and feet hitting the ground. It becomes a different kind of race, but one that I love all the same. It seems more real, like a true race. Truly one person against another and against themselves.

After going back up and down the main hill, I hit the crowds. My first mile was done somewhere around 6:18. Doing the math, I figured that was around 16:00. I became worried that I started out too fast. But my coach was just telling me to move up. So I made my way around the track and started lap two. My last lap around the course.

Lap two began while running through crowds. It's always loud and you can't really understand what anyone is yelling, but it's still awesome. The people were lined up all the way to the hill. But there was someone standing at the bottom of the hill cheering me on that made me smile, like all the freshmen did during their races when we cheered them on (one girl actually posed and gave us a peace sign, but we won't talk too much about that). One of the fastest, if not the fastest, distance runner that went to my school. She graduated about four years ago, but she comes back to practices sometimes or shows up at our meets. She is the distance legend at my school and she was cheering me on at the bottom of the hill during my last first cross country race. That made me smile. And then I ran on.

After going down the hill and crossing a ditch, my legs didn't seem to have as much of that fast feeling. Which made sense, because I was running really fast. And because I could see about five members of the team who won the meet last year (and scored 22 points, only one more than the lowest possible) ahead of me. I was getting tired by the time I ran up the short steep hill. But my coach was yelling at me that I was having an awesome race. So I was going to finish it awesomely.

As I ran up the hill on the course for the last time, my legs were tired. They hurt. But I was almost done. And I wasn't going to give up. So when after coming down the hill, a girl passed me and seemed to be going much stronger, I did not let her just pass me. I hung on to her, fighting every single step. I knew there were people close behind me, people that wanted to beat me. As I hit the track for the last 100m, running around that curve for the last time in cross country, I ran. Fast. The girl was ahead of me and going to beat me, but that didn't mean I was going to let anyone pass me. So with 50m left, after leaving it all on the course, having spent all my energy multiple times, I found something. I was not going to let someone pass me. And no one did. And when I looked down at my watch after crossing the finish line, it said 16:11. 16:11. Which would be a PR for me. At the first race of the season.

My principal congratulated me as I went to get water by the fence around the track. I stood there by myself, waiting for my teammates, my coach, my family. I congratulated my teammates, gave my coach a high five, and talked to my family. It felt good after those minutes of agony, as JS describes our races.

During our cooldown, I said goodbye to the course. When I looked over the course, on top of the hill, it made me miss it. Girls in all different colored uniforms were strung out all over, in a brightly colored line. It was beautiful. It was cross country.

I ran 16:10 in the first race of the season. In my last first cross country meet. That's a PR. I took 14th place so I also received a ribbon. I made myself proud. I also made my family and coach proud. I actually did it. I don't know how. Well I do, because I ran fast. I gave my all and did my best. And I did better than I thought I could. I did something to make myself proud.

ANOTHER LAST OF THE FIRSTS

2009-08-31T20:20:00.009-05:00

My last first cross country meet. Of all the things that I will miss from high school, cross country is one of the greatest. I love cross country. My coach asked me during my first year of xc after a meet which seemed perfect, whether I liked track or xc better. I told him xc was growing on me but I liked track better because I liked running under the lights during the 1500. But then I fell in love with cross country. I love everything about it, the races, the practices, how everyone cheers everyone on, running through big crowds, running with no crowds, even the way no one else seems to care about the sport. I have even started loving what before I didn't enjoy.

In one of the few practices I went to during the two weeks we had practice before school started (I had to work), our team went to Vito's. Vito's is a restaurant up the street from my school so we actually run on the field next to it. It is flat for about 100m then turns left uphill with a path flanked by trees on each side. We usually run 200's there, done in 4 sets, with a minute rest between the first 200's, then 45 seconds, 30 seconds, and 15 seconds. It is also the site of one of the top three worst practices, when we ran 28 200's, 4 sets of 7, and didn't have the usual 3 minutes rest between sets. We usually only do 20 200's plus it was about 90 degrees that day. We were doing the 28 200's with the rest, in cooler weather, when we went to Vito's that day. I was turning the corner around a tree, in the middle of our workout, to the flatter part, when I realized something unusual. I was having fun. And then I told myself I couldn't be, we were at Vito's and doing a sprint workout. A combination that I very much dislike. But it was true. I was having fun. I was hitting my times (48 seconds) throughout the workout but that wasn't the only reason I was enjoying myself. It was a whole comination of things, racing others, running in the grass, running with my teammates, knowing I was one of the strongest, knowing I was the reason I was one of the strongest, knowing my coach was proud of me, knowing that I won't always get to run at Vito's, knowing that this is my last year of cross country and I'd better enjoy it. And I was.

I love cross country, even the little things. When running to our home course at Noelridge Park, so we could run the actual course, it was hotter than it had been. But then I told myself that this was cross country weather. And it didn't feel so hot or so hard. I didn't want to complain, I wanted to take it all in. So as I ran the course that day, I enjoyed it. I remembered everything that had taken place there, each different spot that we ran past that held a memory.

Last Thursday, we ran to Noelridge to do a pretty hard workout in the heat, after a few days of rain that were a lot of fun to run in. We were doing 4 minutes of hard running and 1 minute easy, 6 times, around part of the course, including a slight uphill. It was hard, it mostly sucked, and I was getting tired. One of my teammates was running with me for awhile but I really wanted to finish the workout in front on my own. And on the 5th one, I refound my legs. And it just so happened that a middle school cross country team was there running along a trail, which part of our path intersected. They were only running about a mile, so they were going a little faster than us. But when I came to a point where I was running with one of the middle school boys, I couldn't help it. I started racing him. I was near the end of my hard workout, with almost 20 minutes of fast running in, after a long and difficult week. But I raced him because it was fun. The kid probably thought it was weird that a girl at least four years older than him was doing this but it's not like he slowed down either. I just wanted to race, to have a little fun. I didn't think anyone had seen me, but when I had finished, my coach told me how awesome it was when I took that kid on.

For my last first cross country meet, I have two main goals. It is not a time, I'm not even sure how fast I can go. It is not beating specific people, although I would like to do so. They have nothing to do with anyone else. The first, is that I want to enjoy it. When it feels good and when it hurts, in the good moments and the bad, I want to take it in. I want to remember it all. I want to love it. My second goal, is to leave nothing. I am going to try my hardest out there, no matter how I am doing during the race. I will give my all. Because this is my sport. My favorite sport. I'm going to miss it. Because I love it.

MY LAST FIRST DAY

2009-08-25T20:51:00.006-05:00

I start missing the Tour de France about two weeks before it ends. Because just the thought of it ending and knowing it will end, is almost too much for me. Saying goodbye to the race is really hard. As Andy Schleck said, everything you work for all year is over in three weeks. And while it's great that it's over, it's also sad for the same reason. He was stating most of my thoughts about the end of the Tour de France. But he was also stating my feelings about high school.

My last first day of school was today. I received my last high school I.D. It was my last time experiencing the first day excitement when you see your friends again after a summer away. It was the last time my parents took my picture on the first day. My last time receiving the first day of school hugs. My last time returning to high school on the first day. My last time meeting my new teachers in high school. My last first after school cross country practice. My last time walking through the halls on the first day. One of the first times I truly realized that this is it. This is my last year in high school. It really is now or never. And yes, it is exciting. But it's also sad. Because of all the things that mean so much to me, that I will have to say goodbye to. All the things that I already miss. Because almost everything will change.

FLYING ON THE CHAMPS ELYSEES

2009-07-26T22:35:00.004-05:00

I try to contain my excitement during stage finishes while watching the Tour with my sisters because they find me beyond weird. The last stage displayed such a show of dominance by Cav and Renshaw however, and as a Columbia and Cav fan, it was just too awesome. I might as well have been talking to myself but I kept saying that there was nobody near Renshaw in the leadout and then Cav took off. There was no one near him. As I watched Cav (and Renshaw, and George, basically the whole Columbia train) dominate, the only word I could use to describe the finish was "amazing."

A LUXEMBOURG SANDWICH

2009-07-22T22:47:00.005-05:00

*The title of this post comes from Phil's comment when the first three riders crossed the finish line. It was hilarious. I'm not sure who else would've described the finish quite like that. Phil and Paul are the best commentators.

1. I almost predicted the winner of the stage. I thought Saxo Bank would win the stage, partly for Jens. They seen like a team who would honor their teammates. But also because they needed to do something to put time into others. The Schlecks are the only guys who can stay with AC in the mountains so it would have to be one of them. I had the right last name, but I didn't think Frank could do it. He stayed with them and he deserved the win.

2. A fantastic ride in the peloton came from big Thor Hushovd. I might be a Cav fan, but that was an awesome ride by Thor. Breaking away on a mountain stage while wearing the green jersey is the sign of a champion. I'm glad he responded to Cav's comments and took the jersey in a way that the DQ didn't matter. A great ride by the god of thunder.

3. I really dislike Garmin but Christian Vande Velde had a fantastic ride as well. He's a bit too American although I do like his interviews because he actually answers the questions, even the stupid ones. He really left it all out on the climbs and deserves some respect for that. As Paul said "He has dragged himself up to the front and is now turning himself inside out."

4. Franco Pellizotti got some matching shorts! No more color clashing.

5. Garmin boy was dropped. Good.

6. I don't understand why everyone's freaking out about AC's attack that dropped Kloden. Everyone's saying he's a bad teammate but I think he wanted to get Kloden with him off the front to put time into the Schlecks (which would help the possible Kloden podium) and possibly get Kloden the stage win. If that happened, everyone would be saying how great a teammate he is. AC probably thought that Kloden could go with him because he had been sitting on someone's wheel and looked good. But then Kloden is an experienced rider and knows how to hide the hurt. Even if the group had made in down together, he would've had to sprinted against the Schlecks, and by the way he fell off so quickly, I'm not sure he could have. By the way AC was looking back all the time, I think he realized that the move didn't work and that he had made it worse for himself. I don't think it's right to blame him though, Kloden couldn't keep up. And I like Kloden. He hasn't been getting the respect he deserves because of the rest of the Astana boys.

7. Another rider who hasn't been getting respect is Contador himself. People have been saying he's a bad teammate but really, what has his teammate done for him especially since Lance came back? Shoved him off to the side. And yes, Lance played teammate today. But AC doesn't seem to trust his team and I can understand why. He knows he won't be riding with them after this. As for the whole podium sweep, I thought JB just wanted yellow. And what if he asked Lance to help his domestiques to get on the podium. Lance would've said "sure but you better make sure I'm on the top step". AC is saying "sure, but I'll make sure I'm on the top step." He's looking out for himself first, which is understandable because everyone seems out to get him. Which makes me like him even more.

8. As I was making the rounds on Twitter and reading some online articles, I lost some respect for Johan Bruyneel, Lance, and Levi. If a rider doesn't follow team orders and the team is angry, talk to the rider. You don't tell the media/tweet and make AC seem like the bad guy. Don't ruin his Tour. If JB has a problem with the move, you talk to the guy. You keep it within the team. The worst comment, tweeted by Levi and followed up by Lance was "If Andreas finishes 4th in GC by less than 2' from third, we know where he lost it..." Kloden lost that time hauling Lance up Vierber. They need to keep their problems within the team, not telling everybody. Real classy guys. You could learn something from Saxo Bank.

9. The devil was spotted on today's stage. I've been wondering where he's been.

10. Jens Voigt might have had the most epic crash but Denis Menchov seems to be winning for most crashes.

11. Kenny Van Hummel crashed and is out of the Tour. I have a lot of respect for this guy who rode 190/200km by himself and managed to finish within the time cut. I think we all wanted him to make it to Paris. He has certainly gained some fans.

12. One rider who has really impressed me is Vincenzo Nibali. Although, is his name said Na-ball-ee (like Phil and Paul say it) or Nee-ba-lee (like Craig Hummer says it, although he's the same man that misprounounced Hincapie for an entire July). I'm liking Nibali, not only for his cool name. He can climb and TT. His descent down the last mountain today was pretty awesome. He was certainly going fast and surprised Lance. When they crossed the line though, it looked like Lance was this huge giant and Nibali was some skinny little kid.

13. Maybe I've been listening to Phil and Paul too much, but I think AC is actually dancing on the pedals. Or "tickling the pedals".

14. Saxo Bank has clearly mastered the "grimace of pain" or "mask of pain". Their workhorses drag the peloton up mountains and always seem to be on the verge of blowing up. Their faces show the effort they are putting in. Jens Voigt has obviously mastered it, it's common for him to be wearing the "mask of pain". Except Jens Voigt can't be in pain because he is Jens Voigt. The Schleck brothers showed a good example on the last climbs. They must be practicing with their teammates. Their expressions do let you know that they are giving absolutely everything. Another reason I like Saxo Bank.

15. As for the time trial, Go Spartacus!

STAGE 15 AND 16

2009-07-21T21:09:00.006-05:00

Stage 15:

1. Wow. Contador is simply amazing at climbing mountains. He makes it look as though he's not even trying. Phil and Paul were calling Andy Schleck a pure climber but he was suffering as he crossed the line. AC was not. AC looked like he could do it all again. He showed us why he is going to win the TdF.

2. Once Andy learns to time trial, it's going to be a great battle between him and Contador. I'm not sure which one I like better though.

3. It was good to see Fabian Cancellara in the break. Honoring the Swiss jersey he's so proud of in his country was awesome, as was all the giant Swiss flags that were flying or being used as capes by maniac fans.

4. Not sure what his name was, but the Lampre rider who was in the break was great. He didn't make the time cut in one of the last few stages but the directors let him stay because of cars/weather/something. He did a great job thanking them using his legs.

5. Much as I like Lance, I'm getting a little tired of all the fuss about him. Contador deserves so much more respect than what people are giving him. As do the other riders.

6. That being said, I can't say I was that upset when Lance got dropped. He needs to be put in place once in awhile.

7. I like seeing AC smile. And knowing that he completely and utterly destroyed everyone else.

8. Best Phil and Paul comments:
-2nd place, after Fabian Cancellara was in the break but then is pulling the remanents of the peloton up the mountain, Phil was asking Paul if he'd have anything left. Paul replied "never underestimate Fabian Cancellara". So true.
-1st place, "big" Jens Voigt was in the front giving everything he had. Paul said, twice, "Jens Voigt is trying to asphyxiate the peloton".

Stage 16:

1. As a tribute to Jens and his epic crash, I ran a more than 8.5 mile long route that consisted of all the hills around my neighborhood, in the pouring rain. I was going to do a 6 mile flat route but then I asked myself "what would Jens do?"

2. Jens Voigt is okay!!!!! I have watched the crash over and over, seen the infamous bump, the sparks flying because Jens Voigt is actually a terminator, and it still scares me. Jens Voigt says the greatest quotes ("shut up body and do what I tell you") and people say the greatest things about him. He's on a different level because of his strength and the respect he commands. It's sometimes hard to remember that he's just a skinny guy with a cool accent who likes to ride his bike and just happens to be completely and utterly amazing. Seeing the picture of him just lying on the road, that was hard. He's a great person and cyclist. Get better quickly Jens.

3. Wow. Lance was pretty good. Bridging the gap by himself that quick was impressive. I think he even surprised himself. But it makes me confused on who to cheer on. Because as much as I want AC and the others to beat Lance, I found myself urging him on. I don't want to see him on the podium though, unless he's on the top step. I don't want him being second best, but he's not going to be AC. I don't want Lance being dropped either. I would like to see Andreas Kloden show off his skills.

4. What is with Franco Pellizotti's hair? And if he's going to wear the polka dotted jersey, he needs matched shorts. The color combination did not look good.

5. Mikal Asterloza wins his first ever road race and it's at the TdF. Pretty cool. Plus it's also good to see the breakaways win because of the genuine happiness on their faces. And it's great seeing the Euskadel-Euskadi riders get a stage. I like the Basque boys especially with all the work they've been putting in on this Tour.

6. Cadels Evans has disappointed me. And I don't even like him. He was down a lot of time but he gave up during stage 15. When you give up, it doesn't matter if the legs are there, because you aren't going to try. I thought he was better than that.

7. I love the crazy fans on the mountains. When people talk about crazy fans in other sports, I always wonder the flag cape people and the naked guys are, among others. They can be dangerous but cycling would be missing something without the fans.

8. The Tour is awesome.

OH, JENS

2009-07-21T13:07:00.006-05:00

Oh, Jens Voigt. The most beloved member of the peloton became the tragic story on today's mountains. As I watched the stage this morning, when they said big Jens Voigt was in the break, I wanted him to win. He has the largest suitcase of courage. He was dropped off but he's still awesome. Then they said he had crashed, I freaked out. Jens Voigt is amazing. They showed his terrible crash, how he almost got run over by the motorcycle, how he just lay still, and for a moment, I think we were all speechless. Phil and Paul even forgot about Lance. And for the rest of the stage, I could care less about the GC contenders staying together, Cadel Evans losing time, Mikal Arstaloza finally winning (which was pretty great), and most of all Lance. They would show the crash but they didn't know what happened to him. Obviously he wasn't just lying on the road anymore. And then Phil and Paul said he lost conciousness and was on the way to the hospital. Jens Voigt, the best man in bike racing.

I watched a video once, of Jens Voigt and some other guys. They were riding their bikes somewhere and Jens Voigt was talking about how all of Germany hated him because they blamed him for the German cycling scandals. It was so sad. I hope he knows that the rest of the world loves him. And is praying for him to get better.

The pictures on cyclingnews.com are heartbreaking. Poor Jens. He really is absolutely wonderful. I hope he'll be okay. Afterall, Jens Voigt is a legend.

BIG GEORGE GETS OH SO CLOSE

2009-07-18T22:20:00.007-05:00

During the evening Versus coverage, a segment was done of favorite victory salutes and stage wins. On the bulletin board hanging in my room, I have the newspaper article and photo from my favorite stage. I have watched that victory salute so many times but I never get tired of the look on George Hincapie's face when he won stage 15 of the 2005 Tour de France. I love that stage. And I love George Hincapie. He's one of my favorite riders because he's the hardworking teammate who gives everything for someone else. When he does get a chance, it always seems to be taken away from him, through no fault of his own. Which makes today's stage so heartbreaking. I'm not sure if I have ever seen George Hincapie look as crushed as he was today. Because he deserved that yellow jersey. And I will try to be as unbiased as possible when I write about the newest drama in the peloton but it's going to be hard because I love big George, I love Columbia, and I can't stand Garmin.

What I saw as I watched the stage:
-Break goes away with George Hincapie and Jens Voight, two of my favorite riders.
-Jens Voight is out of the break after his mechanic forgot how to change a wheel quickly. He's mad because he is the king of epic breakaways and this could've been one of those.
-Astana at the front but not chasing. They could've let the break get a little more of a lead because they did want George to have yellow.
-AG2R starts chasing because, duh, they have the jersey and don't want to lose it.
-AG2R sucks at chasing because they've worn themselves out.
-Silence Lotto (team of Cadel Evans who I don't like) comes to the front for a little while for no apparent reason. They don't have a sprinter but they also don't have a guy in the break. They weren't at the front for long though so they don't have as much to do with it.
-Garmin bringing their guys to the front for no apparent reason. They have a sprinter but the breakaway was asured the stage win and Farrar has no chance at green. Not sure exactly what they were trying to do.
-Sergei Ivanov winning a great stage. The video of him breathing hard after the finish shows how hard he worked. Not sure why there wasn't cameras around him.
-Columbia doing the slowest leadout they've ever done.
-George losing out on yellow by five seconds. He is angry.

And now for my completely and utterly biased opinion on what happened in stage 14 along with all the conspiracy theories that went with it. George deserved yellow. In his 14th TdF, always being the hardworking teammate, it should have been his. Maybe he could've have used different tactics, rode a little faster, done something differently to get himself in yellow. But when the maillot jaune is on the line, I think you give absolutely everything you have. I don't think George could've rode faster. The yellow jersey is not given away as a present however, it's worn by those who earn it. After all these years, George Hincapie has earned a second yellow jersey. Which then evokes one of the many gentlemen rules of cycling. If "a legend like him deserved to be in yellow" and the guy isn't a threat on GC, the only team that should've been chasing is the team defending yellow. Yes, it might've been a gift, but it would've been well deserved. In another way, it would'nt have been a gift, but just following some basic rules of the peloton. Such as, if you're such a pro American team, you let the American legend get his jersey and not just chase him down for no other reason than you're a jerk. If Garmin is mad at Cav's trash talk (which he backs up) and at not beating Cav in the sprints, then race man to man. Taking away someone's chance at yellow because their team is more successful is not honorable. If they were mad at Cav, then they beat him at the line. Don't take it out on the nice guy in the peloton.

There's a lot of pointing fingers right now and it seems that everyone is talking except big George. We all know that AG2R couldn't have kept that jersey by themselves, they couldn't have done that chase on their own. We saw Garmin chase. And now Columbia is blaming other teams and thie Tour now sucks (I don't think I'm knowledgable enough to comment on Cav's sprint DQ but I do think it's unfair). The Garmin boys are saying they just did what they were told to do, as they were just "pawns in their game", which brings up even more questions. Can the riders do anything without someone higher up's permission? What is Jonathon Vaughter's problem?

I hope it was worth it Garmin. Because you just screwed yourselves. Columbia is a very strong and united team. They won't let this go. Because Garmin took away the chance of a lifetime, the chance to wear the maillot jaune from a man that deserves it more than any Garmin rider will. Jonathon Vaughters can say all the BS he wants but it won't change how his team disgraced themselves. They just made a lot of people angry when this stage could've been great for everyone but AG2R. This is all just my opinion of course. I think this Johan Buryneel quote best sums up what went on during this stage.

"Obviously it was clear they didn't want to see him in the jersey. If you start to race like that, to go against the success of other people, ultimately it comes back, and I think that is what is going to happen.

Columbia is not going to be happy. It's going to be a battle of American teams, and it's not a battle of results. It's a battle of not wanting somebody else to be in the spotlight. I didn't like that. I didn't like what I saw. I don't think George will be very happy. I know George has a lot of friends on Garmin. I don't know if they wanted to do what they did. I expect that this will have another story to it in the future."

Garmin sucks. Big George Hincapie rocks. Summary of that stage.

HAPPY BASTILLE DAY!

2009-07-14T07:57:00.003-05:00

I wonder which French guy will win the stage today. It's a shame I can't watch the coverage and all the French guys competing for the win. I guess I'll have to celebrate Bastille Day without them.

NO VERSUS!!!!!

2009-07-11T21:10:00.008-05:00

OMG. OMG. I am in a hotel in Ohio on vacation.....and Versus does not work (They also don't have a treadmill. What hotel does not have a treadmill?). It is the middle of freaking July and I can't watch the Tour. The only thing I do in July, besides run, is watch the Tour. Which is why, when we got done eating supper, I go into the hotel room and turn it to Versus. A screen with colorful stripes shows up. So now, I have to wait until 10 each night to go to the terrible computer in the lobby, watch the one minute highlight on Versus, and then get angrier. Do these people not realize this is JULY? Do they not realize this is the most exciting TOUR DE FRANCE in YEARS??

On a side note, I watched most of the stage this morning at my house. I watched enough to see Fabian Cancellara being a beast, George Hincapie make the break but fall away, Cav lose his green jersey that he looks so wonderful in, and my man with the winning yellow shoes, Luis Leon Sanchez make the break. I thought he could win the stage, and I had him on my fantasy team because I believe in him so much, and then hours later in Ohio, I find out he won (second stage in 2 years). I wish I could've seen it live. He's just that good. I'm so glad he won. It's a shame I couldn't watch him win on Versus with actual coverage. Phil and Paul probably had something to say about how awesome Luis Leon Sanchez is.

TDF COMMENTS: SO STRANGE

2009-07-10T15:50:00.007-05:00

1. First off, I totally called today's TdF stage. At least kind of. On my Versus fantasy cycling team, I happen to have a man named Brice Feillu who cost me $5. The only reason I put him on my team was because he was cheap and I figured he must be related to Roman Feillu who wore yellow last year (which I actually remembered). He had been the only guy on my team who hadn't scored me points as of Wednesday, which made me a little disappointed. And then he goes and wins today's stage as the most inexperienced man in the break. It got me nowhere because he was sitting on my bench, but I was cheering for Brice Feillu once I saw he was in the break. The only wrong thing he did was not zip up his jersey when he won. I can't believe he won though. I can't believe he was on the bench when he won.

2. Spartacus finally had to give up yellow. It was sad watching Fabian Cancellara fall off the back because of all he's accomplished so far. He's a fantastic rider. But now there might not be any more interviews with the man until he wins the last time trial. He has really impressed me though, and I love watching him succeed.

3. Sure, it was a hard stage and he might have deserved the win, but I can't help but feel glad that David Millar did not win stage 6. I don't like the guy or his team.

4. Strange things have been happening in the Tour. Cadel Evans attacked. And not only did he attack, he was the first to attack. He's getting pretty desperate if he's not doing the usual wheelsucking.

5. Two french wins in 7 stages. And we haven't even gotten to Bastille Day. Very strange.

7. Even stranger, is the 30 minute commercial free segment on Versus which allowed us to watch the stage finish without being interrupted by granola bars or cars.

8. Watching all the commercials during the Tour makes me wonder about what kind of people they think watch it. As a teenage girl, I beginning to think I'm not their prime audience, after watching multiple male enhancement, hairloss, and eHarmony commercials. Who exactly do they think pro cycling fans are?

9. Forgot to mention this previously, but I was impressed with Robert Gesink finishing with a fractured wrist or whatever it was. He might have dropped out afterwards but he finished that stage which took some courage.

10. Ahhh, the mountains. It's hard not to love them.

2009 TOUR COMMENTS

2009-07-08T20:56:00.006-05:00

This tour is pretty good so far. And now, since I can't discuss these things with my family, here are some comments I have.

1. I love watching breakaways succeed. Watching guys who may never have a chance to win a stage again and may have only dreamed of the moment, it's incredible to watch. They are always some of the happiest stage winners. Thomas Voekler was certainly happy today. After he won the stage and was waiting to hug his teammates as he stood with his hand in their air, it was hard to keep from feeling glad for him. He was so incredibly happy on the podium, it made me smile. He definately deserved the win. And he won it in a very sweet breakaway fashion. Going in a breakaway at the beginning of the stage, the peloton so close with 15km to go, and then winning it solo, enough time for a fabulous victory salute as the peloton rides hard in the background.

2. Fabian Cancellara is amazing. I like him not just because he is awesome in time trials, but because he does what you wouldn't expect. He sprinted to a stage victory while wearing the yellow jersey one year in the Tour. In the Beijing Olympics (which I stayed up till 5 a.m. to watch but it was worth it) he won the bronze in the road race when everyone thought he would get his medal the next day by winning gold in the time trial. And then he won the Tour of Switzerland. Now, in this year's Tour, he basically does all the work in the team time trial. Everytime they showed Saxo Bank on Versus, it seemed like Fabian Cancellara was in the front. He basically dragged the team to the finish. Then, on today's stage, he's riding at the front of the peloton. He's pulling the peloton along when he's wearing yellow. That was pretty awesome. But Fabian Cancellara does not do the expected and that is why he is a beast. Plus, it's so much fun to listen to his interviews and watch him pull on yellow.

3. Ben Stiller should not have been giving out the yellow jersey. It was hilarious watching him give it to Fabian Cancellara. I could almost see him thinking "where's Lance? This is not Lance". I doubt Fabian Cancellara knew or cared who he was. He did care about that jersey though.

4. Lance wanted that yellow. Like he could time the .22 seconds to stay out of it. And really, Lance taking yellow would make another great chapter in his story. But as the 5th man over the line, it's all his fault. I have to say that I did want him to take the jersey until I watched Fabian Cancellara's reaction to keeping it. Then I realized that Lance can share.

5. It's a great Tour for the conspiracy theorists.

6. Much as I dislike Garmin they did a nice job in the TTT. Riding with only 5 for most of the way and only having 4 pulling would have been hard. Them getting second made me laugh though. Not a fan of them at all. I did like the Christian Vande Velde interview though. When the guy asked him if dropping half the team was the plan, he responded very well. VdV is a bit too American though for me to like him.

7. I love Cav. Seeing him in green is awesome. I like how he talks trash but then backs up his side. And he's always making sure his teammates get the credit. He seems to really enjoy it though, he's always having fun. He acts like a kid, which is not a bad thing.

8. The voices of the Tour for me will always be Phil and Paul. The people of BF are always complaining about them but I could (and do, in July) listen to them for hours. Where else can you hear someone say "around about"? Or say "completely and utterly" about 5 times in 2 minutes. When Phil was talking about Lance "dancing on the pedals" in stage 4, it reminded me even more that this is the Tour de France. And then after the TTT, when they were commenting on Fabian Cancellara's performance, Paul started saying "but Phil, remember what you always say about riding wearing the yellow jersey".....and I could recite "it makes you ride like two men". They say the weirdest things but I love listening to them because you can tell they love the race.

9. I love Lance and all, but really. The little jersey on the screen for him at Versus, along with the important jerseys? Little overboard.

10. This tour is incredibly exciting.

2009 TOUR DE FRANCE: TTT

2009-07-06T23:41:00.003-05:00

The team time trial is tomorrow in le tour. I love TTT's. But then I love just about every stage in the Tour so that doesn't really count. I have a slight problem for the stage though, who do I cheer for? I'm really not sure.

Saxo Bank is a good team. I like most of the team, such as Fabian Cancellara (love his name) and the beloved Jens Voight. There are some on the team that I'm not particularly fond of, like Andy Schleck who has yet to impress me. I actually do like most of the team but not their leader.

Liquigas has a cool name. And cool jerseys. I'm liking Roman Kreuziger. He's impressed me more than Andy Schleck because he can time trial. Liquigas probably won't win the TTT but they will probably do well.

Garmin is probably the team I dislike the most. Last year's tour was full of Jonathon Vaughters, his sideburns, and sweaters. I do not like Jonathon Vaughters. He doesn't seem like a cyclist. I also don't like some of the members of the team such as David Millar who is so full of himself. The team actually seems to be full of overrated time trialists such as David Millar, Bradley Wiggens, and Dave Zabriskie. They're always talking about what great a team it is. I can't stand the team. Sure, they're American but countries don't matter as much in cycling. They're a team that seems overrated. I was so glad when Columbia beat them in the TTT in the Giro. Cav in pink and my least favorite team just losing to my favorite team. That was a good TTT.

Columbia Highroad is wonderful. I love the team. When Discovery disbanded, I was looking for a new team to follow. I did not want to cheer for Astana because they had no right to try and reconstruct the DC team. Most of the DC boys were going to Astana but there was one that wasn't. I followed George Hincapie to the team that changed from T-Mobile to Highroad to Columbia Highroad to whatever they are called now. I really liked the whole idea of the team. They seemed to fit together very well and were a true team. Everybody had a chance to ride for themselves but they would also ride for others. They had a good anti doping program. They had a lot of young talented riders but they also had George Hincapie and now Zabel to mentor them. Bob Stapleton seemed to know what he was doing and had some really good ideas. And so, I fell in love with the team before they showed everyone else how amazing they were. I liked Cav before the world liked Cav, before he was the fastest. I liked the team when they didn't have a sponsor or those awesome results they have since achieved. It really feels like they are my team almost. They've given me a lot of talent to cheer on. I actually have someone to yell for in the sprints but in the other races as well. What they did in stage three was awesome. But what is even better is after they win the races. Seeing Cav hug his teammates after he wins, hearing them continually thank each other. That's why they're my team.

Astana is a team that I'm unsure about. I don't like Levi, I used to like Contador but now am undecided about him, I like Kloden because he is overlooked, and I like Popo, but not when he was on Cadel's team. I don't like the idea of the team, it's like another Discovery only not as good. The team has a lot of talent but they don't have the opportunities to use it. I decided I didn't really like the team and then Lance came back. I first watched the TdF when my dad turned it on one day a couple years ago. Lance is the reason I began following cycling. I loved Lance. And yet, when he announced he was coming back, I was mad. It's a long story and involves many reasons, but basically, I didn't want him to come back. I'm still angry that he did it, but I'm more okay with it. He has made it more difficult to follow cycling. I can't cheer against him, he's Lance. Lance Armstrong, who I have cheered on for so many days as he rode in France. Lance Armstrong, who made me love cycling. I want him to win but I also don't want him to. Somebody else should be able to win. But this is about the TTT. As much as I love Columbia and would like to see them win, I would also like to see Astana win it. Lance's team wins the TTT and Astana may be a different team but they are Lance's team. I have to cheer them on.

TOUR DE FRANCE 2009

2009-07-03T21:26:00.004-05:00

Because I am just so super excited for the Tour de France to begin, I feel I need to make predictions that will probably be terribly wrong.

1. I used to think that nothing would stop Alberto Contador from winning but now it seems like everyone else has the same opinion. I don't think he will completely dominate the TdF. He might win, but there will not be domination.

2. Cav is going to dominate. This is partly because I like him so I want him to win but...he's still awesome and will beat everybody.

3. Fabian Cancellara is going to win the time trials, such as the one that starts off the Tour. He's too fast.

4. Luis Leon Sanchez is going to surprise everyone in a good way.

5. Lance Armstrong will surprise everyone. In a bad or good way.

6. Cadel Evans and Levi Leipheimer will be wheelsuckers. I still won't like them because of this.

7. Garmin will suck. Astana won't do as well as they should. Saxo Bank will do well.

8. Someone will be caught doping, more than one from a team. Probably roommates.

9. Frank Schleck will beat his brother Andy.

10. Jersey winners:
Yellow: Alberto Contador
Green: Mark Cavendish
Polka Dot: Carlos Sastre (I really don't know)
White: Luis Leon Sanchez (Andy Schleck is overrated)

BACK ON THE RUN

2009-06-28T22:04:00.004-05:00

After ignoring my blog, I have found that my running has been sucking. It's been hot, I've been running with my teammates which makes me feel the need to race and doesn't give me a chance to go at my pace, I've had to schedule my runs around work, I've been having to run in the mornings when I'd rather run at night, my routes aren't that great, I've haven't been doing what I'm supposed to on my xc training schedule, and on and on. So as I said, my running has been sucking. At the beginning of my run today, which began at 8:00 and was a much cooler 79 degrees, I figured that my problem was that I needed to fall in love with running again. It shouldn't feel like every run is forced, it should feel good. I needed a magical run, something to show me that I have made progress and that I do love running. I found one of those runs today. I can actually post about how running is awesome, which is different than what I have been feeling.

I finished supper around 7:11 and I usually try to wait an hour afterwards before running but I needed to get my miles in before it got dark. I drove to a mile long trail that has marks every .1 along the loop. It's gravel and pretty flat. There's a lot of trees and enough people to let me race someone but without feeling crowded. I do a lot of my summer training along this mile long loop and the surrounding neighborhoods. It gives me a comfortable feeling because I know I don't have to race anyone but can if I want to.

My first mile felt slow. I took Saturday off so my legs were kind of tight. I was going to do 6 or 7 miles if I could fit them in before darkness but I wasn't sure if my legs would let me. I had been running about 8 minute miles on my runs so I was pretty surprised when I passed my first mile in 7:36. I thought I had started out too fast like I have before but it didn't even feel like I was going that fast. I didn't try to speed up and passed the second mile in 15:11 or 15:18.

The third mile was the hardest. I could feel myself slowing down and kept telling myself not to let me feel that. If I didn't let myself know I was getting slower than I wouldn't. I was getting slower though, and was at 22:55 at the third mile.

I realized that I could break 45 minutes, the unreachable number. So I took off. The fourth mile was at 30:15, the fifth at 37:30, and the sixth at 44:36. I broke 45 minutes and didn't feel that exhausted when I was done. This run meant that my miles have been doing something for me.

I can't get myself motivated to run miles in the heat for xc season. This run taught me that maybe I should just run for now. I don't have to train for something that seems far off, I can train for what I can do now. Each run should be me trying to do my best so I can improve now and not later. The hills I've been doing will improve me later but I have to let myself show the improvement sometimes. I have to love running in order to improve. And after this run, I realized that I do.

THE GREAT FLOOD OF 2008

2009-06-13T22:16:00.004-05:00

Although it might seem that way, I have not abandoned my blog, but I have been very busy. School is out so I'll have a little more time to write between my working and running. And now I would like to talk about the six days in June that changed my city and is the reason for the race that I ran today.

On June 11, 2008, I went to cross country practice in the morning. The road I usually took to get to school was closed because of some flooding issues so I had to take a little detour. By the time we had come back, the water had already come over one of the roads on our detour. Later that day, for my parent's 20th wedding anniversary, our family drove downtown to look at the floodwater. They were higher than I had seen before but it was only causing some minor damage and didn't seem like that big of deal. And then the rain came.

A day later, on June 12, I basically sat on the couch and watched the local news channel as they covered the flooding. The continuous coverage showed places that I had seen just the day before, covered with water. We had laughed as places seemingly far from the water were sandbagging as we had watched, but the level of the water meant that the sandbags were useless. It was unbelievable seeing city landmarks being covered with water. And the rain just went on.

On June 13, 2008, the river crested at 31.2 ft., more than 11 ft. over the previous record. Events like this have been on the news but you don't really grasp it until you are there. Until it's places that you know that are being affected. It's weird knowing that a picture of my city was on the cover of the New York Times, my teammate's dad was on CNN, and the National Guard was just down the street. When my family was looking at the flood, in an area where you usually can't see the river, I actually stood next to their jeeps. I saw the police rescue someone from the river. I watched a houseboat float downstream. This was my hometown, where I was born and where I grew up. And it was being devastated by a flood.

On top of a hill, the flooding did not directly affect my family. But in a way, it did. I filled sandbags with my mom, and helped out with the Salvation Army and Red Cross. I delivered meals in one of the Salvation Army trucks to flood victims and volunteers in the flood zones. Because of this, I experienced what it was like when the waters had left. The smell, the debris, the destroyed buildings, and all the people. I traveled down streets that had stacks of belongings all along the curb. Because of water restrictions, we used paper plates and didn't take showers. Everyone was trying to do their part to help our city recover. One of the Salvation Army volunteer coordinators from the South told us that she hadn't seen so many volunteers from a community every before and that she was there at Hurricane Katrina. Even as the national news left, along with the water, we were recovering. We were doing it together. We can't do it on our own though, we need a lot of help. But we are working on it. And so, on the anniversary of the flood, I ran a race. The flood run: race to rebuild, race to recover, race to remember. It took us throughout the flood zones, through seven miles of destruction. It has been a year but it some places, it doesn't look that way. The race report will be written later but I would like to mention that it was cloudy and raining. As I ran past this building, at the beginning of the race, the skies looked the same as they had been a year ago. The bridges were clear though, as over 1000 participants ran because of the flood.

THE GIRO: TOTAL AWESOMENESS

2009-05-31T13:27:00.007-05:00

That was epic. Totally and completely awesome.

The 100th year anniversary of the Giro d'Italia was everything a bike race should be. Including being exciting up until the last km of the race. I actually watched the last part of the stage online at Universal Sports and saw the top 10 be sent off. Rainy time trials are always exciting.

Di Luca was on top at the first time check but I didn't think he could hold it. He's just not a good time trialer. Denis Menchov, who I was cheering for, was going good as usual. Then, towards the end, I was checking out the updates on Bike Forums. I flipped back to the live coverage and see Denis Menchov climbing on a new bike and being pushed. My reaction was "Oh my gosh, what just happened, oh my gosh, he could lose" and then "goooooooooo!!!!". If I was acting like this and am not an ever loyal supporter of Menchov, imagine what the Raboback guys were doing. When he crossed the line I had no idea if he had won or how close it was. I didn't see Danilo Di Luca finish so I didn't know what was going on. Di Luca and Menchov didn't really have an emotion on their faces (not like that's a surprise). I was checking BF to see if someone knew what was going on and found the following reactions:

"Menchov down!!!!"

"!!!!!!!!!!"

"Menchov goes down! Think he is close enough to still take it all though..."

"oh ****."

"Omg"

"omfg"

"Lol"

They obviously didn't know. And then on the live coverage they were just showing the replays of the crash, which was pretty cool, and the bike exchange. The mechanic who jumped out of the car seemingly before Menchov even touched the ground and tgot the bike out and under him by the time the guy had stood up was awesome. He deserves a pretty big reward for that.

Then they finally show the GC and that Menchov had won. And then they replay the crash. Then the people surrounding Menchov and then the crash again. Each time they replayed that though, I'm just amazed at the mechanic. He was good.

When they put the camera back on Menchov, it looked like he was smiling. He was actually showing some sort of emotion. I think this might be the first time I've seen him do that. I mean, Di Luca doesn't display much emotion either, he just looks tough, but Menchov is about the same level as he is. When I see Menchov smiling and yelling while throwing his arms up, I was a little surprised.

Watching Menchov smiling on the podium really made me feel the right guy had won. I didn't want Di Luca to win so the next toughest looking guy had to take the title. Menchov raced smart, he knew what he was doing, and he was strong, all the while looking tough.

This Giro is an example of why I love cycling. The race was truly epic.

REFLECTION ON BLOGGING

2009-05-26T20:01:00.003-05:00

So my blog. I really like it. I like writing on it because it feels like I'm telling someone who cares about what I'm talking about. Sometimes it takes me awhile to write my posts but that's because I have to include all the little details. I like being able to talk about whatever I want, that there's basically no restrictions or guidelines I have to follow. Being able to communicate with people who have the same interests as I do is something that came from this blog. It doesn't even matter how old you are or where you are, I can talk with people about what we both like.

Being anonymous on the internet makes blogging better than writer's notebooks. People who come across my blog aren't going to know who I am and therefore won't have any ideas about me before they read what I wrote. They'll take me at my posts and that's it. I can comment on other people's blogs and don't have to worry about what they're going to think of it because they don't know me. It's easier to talk to someone this way, when you don't really have an idea of who the other person is.

My blog is kind of like a very detailed training log for my running because of what I write about. I know it's not really supposed to be like this but it works for me. It's what I want to talk about and since it's my blog, it's what I'm going to talk about. This blog assignment is something you can adjust so it's something you enjoy. I like blogging and because I get graded for it, even better. It's homework I actually like doing.

RACE REPORT: DISTRICTS (V)

2009-05-23T15:36:00.005-05:00

This post is the latest installment about how our 4x800 team was getting gypped. On Wednesday, we were to find out the decision on whether or not we would run at state. I had been going on adrenaline since districts and this day was not different. It made me nervous as I sat in class, knowing that our athletic director was meeting with the people in charge of the district and then going to the state officials to make their decision. We knew there was a very slim chance that we would get to race at state, but we weren't going down without a fight. There was still that little part of us full of hope, believing we would run.

After school, we went to the track sendoff (which is dumb and a waste of time when we could be at practice) and the AD met us at the door, telling us that he needed to talk with us. By the look on his face, it was not going to be good news. So we sat there at a table together, as the AD gave a speech to all the state track athletes wishing us luck and telling us how special it was to run at Drake. Because I went to state last year, I know how amazing it is to run on that beautiful blue track, but it felt like he was rubbing it in. He was telling us how awesome it was while we knew that he'd probably come over afterwards and tell us that we wouldn't experience that this year.

The AD waited for the rest of the runners to leave before talking to us, our head coach, the principal, and our coach, who came in late. Nobody looked happy and we knew. We knew we weren't going to run on that beautiful blue track this year. The principal even hugged AL and JS before the athletic director explained the situation.

He had met with the people in charge of districts and watched the video. The automatic timer wasn't working so they had another timer in the video. On this timer, you could very clearly see that it said 10:23 as I crossed the line. But it didn't matter. It turns out that you had to contact the district people within 48 hours to appeal the results. That would mean we had until Sunday night, only a few hours after we found out that something wasn't right. It didn't matter that we didn't know about the wrong results because our head coach had them, that the state qualifying list came out on Sunday, that some districts were postponed until Saturday when they weren't supposed to be, or that nobody would have been at the office on Saturday or Sunday. The AD had argued these points and more but it didn't change the decision. The only way we were going to state was as a member of the crowd and not a competitor.

I had released most of my disappointment on Monday but it was still hard to listen to this. I couldn't look at any of the adults or else I would have started crying. Looking at JS and AL, they were having similar problems. We knew that our coach and the AD had done their best to fix the problem, they had kept fighting for us. The AD told us that he had yelled at the district and state officials because it wasn't our fault and we were getting punished for it. He said he had tried to get them to change the rule, explaining everything that had happened, saying it wasn't fair that four high school girls were paying for a mistake made by an adult. The AD told us that he would say nobody felt worse then him about the situation, but that he couldn't say that because he wasn't us. I believe what he said, partly because he used to be the girl's track head coach, but also the look on his face as he was telling this to us. He looked so upset, but then, it was hard not to be. No amount of apologizing could make up for what was being taken from us.

We were still going to state, except for RB, because, as they told us, we deserved to be there. We had ran the time so we should get the reward, but we were only getting part of it. The three of us went to talk to our coach outside his room about the plan, but then he led us into the office nearby. The last time I was probably in there, was a year and a half ago, after state xc when our coach was yelling at us. Our coach sat down at the table though, as we sat down across from him. We didn't know what he was going to say, but it was obviously more than just about what the plans were for state. It was a lot more.

He told us that it was his fault, that he should've called the AD instead of the head coach when JS called to tell him something was wrong with the qualifying list. That he should've noticed it before. He played the what if game, which I was refusing to participate in. It was hard watching him be so upset when I knew that it wasn't his fault. He had tried so hard, done all he could to fix the situation, he's part of the reason we had made it so far. The two laps taken away from me, the 8 laps of blue taken from our team, weren't directly taken from him. But listening to my coach, looking at how upset he was, it was taken from him too. The meeting was so hard to get through, that I had to stare at a drawer and not say anything so I wouldn't start crying. AL and I left it up to JS to tell him that it wasn't his fault, because we were all on the verge of tears. He had done his best as we had done ours at districts.

We weren't sure what to do at practice but we felt like running. JS and I stretched by ourselves because, technically, our 2009 track season was over. It wasn't like anyone was going to say anything anyways, everyone felt bad for us. We went two miles, because it was hot out. It was hard knowing that we wouldn't be doing strides, because we didn't have a track meet to run at.

Before we went on our little run, the assistant coach mentioned that she had talked to the head coach about the results on Saturday. She had told him that our time wasn't right but he didn't listen. The distance girls don't like the head coach anyways but this made it worse. He would've listened if we had been sprinters. But we aren't and that's part of what makes us good. We are the distance runners, the scampering squirrels.

The 4x800 was ran on Thursday morning, around 11:10. I do not know the results of that race and I do not intend to look them up. My coach told us that the team that qualified last, who shouldn't have raced based on correct district times, wasn't competitive. He said that he knew we would've improved. It doesn't matter if he is right or not though, what matters is that we didn't race at state. This was not just any meet we weren't allowed to run at, this was the state meet at Drake. We might get to race there again but it won't make up for our lost chance. They took it away and we aren't getting it back.

RACE REPORT: DISTRICTS (IV)

2009-05-19T21:24:00.004-05:00

You would think that, at a state qualifying track meet, someone would double check all the results because they affect many people. If someone would've done that, maybe found a three that was supposed to be a two, our 4x800 relay team would be going to state for sure. We ran the time so we should get the reward. Yet we still don't know what is going on. All because of someone's mistake, one that might take away our state meet.

Yesterday, my dad talked to my coach, who said that something was wrong with the video so we had no proof, and therefore were not racing at state. I was devastated, I had thought we were making progress and then because of a video not working, we weren't going to state. It wasn't fair. We ran the time to qualify and because of someone's mistake, we weren't going to run at state, on the fantastic blue track. I had gotten my hopes up, which I know I shouldn't have done. It hurt though, it's not fair and we can't do anything about it.

It took me awhile but I called JS to tell her the news. That was a hard phone call to make but I knew that she should know. In that phone call though, she said something that fit our situation. JS told me that "you know, they're taking something away from us" and she's right. They are taking away something that we can't get back. This is not just a track meet that they aren't letting us run at, this is the state meet. This is RB's last chance, she's a senior so this is her last possible state meet. They're taking something away from us by mixing up our time. And it's something we have worked for, something we ran for.

JS and I talked to our athletic director this morning and he gave us different news, some that was better. He was going to talk to the people in charge of the district meet and watch two videos himself. He said he wasn't sure how much he could do, but that he could try, he was fighting for us. Our coach wasn't here but the head coach said we could go to the state meet even if we didn't run, and that he was emailing someone in charge of the state meet. Apparently these people weren't contacted because AL's dad emailed them, and they didn't know what was going on. They hadn't heard about the mixup of times and what we were doing about it. I know we don't have much of a chance of racing at state but I know that people are fighting for our chance. Knowing this makes it a lot easier because we want to do everything we can to try to run at state. We are going to do as much as we can to make sure we get there.

RACE REPORT: DISTRICTS (III)

2009-05-18T21:06:00.002-05:00

The rollercoaster of emotions began after our district meet ended on Friday. The nerves were already affecting me again when I ate my french fries after my race. I was so nervous about qualifying. We just had to qualify, we wanted to so badly. We wanted to run at state, we had worked towards that goal.

On Saturday, I was up at an early 9:30. I knew that there was no way I'd find out whether we made it until after 2:00, when the postponed districts were over. I couldn't help but being nervous though, the waiting was already getting to me. Whenever I was home, I was checking the computer until I decided that they weren't going to post it at 10:30.

Sunday morning came and I checked the newspaper for the district results. Seeing that we had placed ahead of 4th place in that district, I actually believed we had a chance. So I ran downstairs and checked out the website. The tenative cut off times were posted and at 10:28, we were under. What I really felt when I saw that was relief, we had done it. We were going to state. I told my parents and then found out JS had texted me at 2:00 in the morning when she found out. We were estastic. I even had ice cream to celebrate at supper.

Checking the website to see if they had the lists of qualifiers up, was when the real rollercoaster began. I glanced at it casually, making sure we were on there. Except we weren't. I checked again, making sure I didn't overlook it. We weren't on there. Using our school name and my name, I looked to make sure they didn't put our names under the wrong spot. It wasn't on there, I was freaking out. Why weren't we on there? We had to have qualified.

I called JS and we had a 50 minute conversation. She had called our coach (she had called him) and he didn't know what was going on. We knew we had run under 10:28, we had run about 10:23. We tried to think if we had been disqualified or what could have kept us from qualifying. Both of us were very upset, we thought we were going to state and now they were telling us we weren't.

JS and I met before school to talk to our coach. He seemed upset and didn't know what was going on. Two hours later, we met with the head coach. He told us the results showed we had run 10:35. We knew that we weren't that slow, my dad, the assistant coach, and our coach had all timed us at somewhere around 10:23. The head coach told us he was talking to our athletic director, who was contacting the people in charge of our district and the state meets. They would review the video of our finish, when I crossed the line, and if the timer wouldn't work, they'd time how far I was behind 4th place. Even though my coach didn't know anything more at lunch, we felt that we were getting it worked out.

An hour before school was out, JS told me that the state qualifying list for our class had been taken down from the internet. We were excited, we were making progress. None of the coaches knew anything more at practice, but they were pretty confident that they could get the problem fixed.

JS called me a couple hours after school to tell me that the list is back up. It's not changed. We aren't on it. And now we don't know what to do. We have to depend on other people and on that video. We don't know what the people in charge are doing. The list was probably taken down to correct sprinter's times, but they don't seem to be doing anything about us.

It didn't seem to matter what we did, but we weren't going to stop fighting. I called my coach (this is how much I want it) but he wasn't there so he called me back. This was very awkward but state is worth it. He had noticed they put the list back up but he didn't know what they were doing about us. He said he'd talk to the athletic director and let us know that he was working on it.

The longer it takes though, the less chance we have of going to state. I thought before that it would be bad if we didn't go to state and we knew we could've gone with the other girl. That is better than our situation we are finding ourselves in, knowing that we ran the time to qualify but because of someone else's mistake, we might not get to go. We have to go though, we have fought so much for it. We don't know how much more we can do though, but we will do as much as we can.

RACE REPORT: DISTRICTS (II)

2009-05-17T17:38:00.004-05:00

On Tuesday, earlier this week, the mid distance coach decided that the 4x800 team would be chosen by having everyone who wanted to run the race at districts, run an 800 against each other. I can't believe my coach actually went along with this, although he did tell us about it the day before. JS and I were angry though, because we felt that we had already proved that we deserved a spot throughout the season. We had worked harder throughout the season and had raced better. We didn't think that the choice should come down to a single race between us, because you could be having a good or bad day. The mid distance coach insisted we do this however, so JS and I proceeded to kick everyone's butt, as I came in first with her right behind me in second. RB was third, as we knew she would probably be, and she was also angry at the decision. What angered us even further though, was the decision not to put the fastest 800m runner on our relay team. She had run a 2:29 before that, and we knew that with her, we'd get to state for sure. None of us liked her, but we thought she should be on our team. Apparently she did not think so, so she, along with the mid distance coach, decided she should run the distance medley and 4x400. Built in breaks would allow her to run both the 4x800 and the distance medley though, and our 4x400 team didn't have much of a chance of qualifying. They didn't give us a reason, but did tell RB that they only wanted her to run two events. We wouldn't accept these reasons but didn't have much of a choice in these decisions.

In the distance medley, the girl who should've been on our team ran a 2:27. If she would've ran a 2:33 in our race, we knew we would have definately qualified. Instead, we weren't sure if we would get to go to state, because of the stupid decision the coach had made. It was all we could talk about, as the three of us sat underneath an umbrella, watching as it rained during the meet. AL didn't seem to want to come near us so we could talk about our race as much as we wanted. We realized that if we didn't make it to state, we wouldn't be disappointed as much as mad. We could've been 10 seconds faster if the girl ran with us, so we knew that our relay could definately make it to state. We had the people, but because of a decision made that we had no choice in, we might not get the chance to go to state. Even as RB finished fourth in the 800m with 2:31, it was all we could talk about. JS and I even decided that maybe our coach would take us as alternates to state because we didn't think we would qualify.

It was steadily raining on and off throughout our conversations. The sky was gray and the blue track was covered in puddles. Despite sitting underneath an umbrella, I was all wet. I left my spike bag out in the rain, so my socks and spikes were soaked. My wet clothing made me shiver but I didn't want to put different clothes on, because I knew they would just get wet. JS and I had to run the 1500m though, so we couldn't dwell on it for long.

It rained as JS and I warmed up, running three laps. My pants, socks, and shoes were soaked. It didn't seem to matter because I knew that unless I somehow dropped 10 seconds off my PR, this would be my last 1500m of the season. It knew it could also be my last race of the track season. So I ignored the cold weather and the 4x800 problems, I was going to go out there and run my best. I would do what I could because I had already gave most of my energy to the 4x800, I decided while stretching on the wet sidewalk.

I stood next to JS at the starting line, the sky gray but no longer raining. The race began a little faster than I would've liked, but I wasn't really running for a time, I didn't even think about my PR. I wanted to compete in my race, and that is what I did. There was a puddle I splashed through with 2.5 laps to go and I could see JS was running well. Whenever she made a move, I followed her but I stayed on the inside. My coach just encouraged us, and AK cheered us on.

With 100m left, JS was right beside me. I tried to follow her sprint but she had more than me. She did lose out to another girl that were caught but beat me in 5:21 while I took 5:22. The fact that she beat me didn't even bother me that much. My mom told me before to run for myself, not my teammates or my coaches. I ran for myself in that race and did all I could. I raced and that's what matters.

1500
JS- 5:21
Me- 5:22

The PR is as elusive as ever. I competed more than anything though.

RACE REPORT: DISTRICTS (I)

2009-05-17T11:10:00.010-05:00

Our district (state qualifying) track meet was held on Friday. Last year, I ran the 4x800 at districts and our team qualified with a time of 10:18, a second before the cutoff time. I was the slowest on the team, at 2:37 or 2:38 and I was extremely nervous, even throughout the race, because I didn't want it to be my fault that we didn't make it to state. We did make it though, and it was lots of fun. This year, I knew what I had to do and what I would miss out on if we didn't make it to state.

The day started off okay until our teacher brought doughnuts in my second hour class. Of course I refrained from eating one, I did have a track meet afterall, probably the most important of the year. It was hard watching everyone stuff their faces with delicious doughnuts but all I could think was "what would AK do?" because she's always getting mad at us for eating junk food or having an extra cookie during the season.

We left class two hours early and rode a school bus for about an hour until we reached the meet site. It was at a middle school, but shared by both high schools in the city. There was lots of bleachers to sit at and enough room on the opposite stands for my coach to sit by himself (he usually does this, it's kind of weird but we're used to it). The track was a wonderful blue. It reminded me of Drake, where the Drake Relays and the state meet are held, which has the most beautiful track. This track was wonderful but not nice as Drake's, but then, it is hard to top that.

The bathrooms were awesome. And as a cross country and track runner, I've seen a lot of bathrooms. One side of the bathrooms had more stalls than any other outdoor track we've been to. And there were two sides. The doors were long enough, there was soap, and there were enough paper towels. This place was very nice, except the barbed wire on the top of the fence surrounding the track made it feel a little like a prison.

The meet was to begin at four, with the 4x800 at 4:25, after the boy's 4x800. I ate half of my butterfinger granola bar for good luck and sat with my teammates while watching AK warmup for the 3000m. Our relay team consisted of me, JS, RB, and another girl who doesn't usually run varsity, AL. JS and I have ran 2:34 and under which is where we needed to be. RB hasn't been doing as well this year with a 2:36, but I knew she would give everything because she was a senior and this was her last chance. AL was our weakest link, as I was last year, because she's not consistant and she runs a lot slower than us. We were ranked 5th in our district with a time of 10:26. We needed to be in at least the top 6 but we didn't know how fast we could go because we hadn't run together yet. This was districts though, so it didn't matter what we did before, it mattered what we could do at that meet.

We ran two warmup laps with the team and did some stretching before doing two more laps. It was cloudy out so the stadium lights were on. Rain was expected but only on and off showers. Two other district meets were postponed until Saturday which meant that we wouldn't find out whether we qualified for state on Saturday morning. This was my kind of weather though, in the low 60's with rain. Bad weather to watch a track meet in, great weather to race in.

Our district was much easier than last year's and the 3000m was really slow. AK came in third though, with 11:34, about 20 seconds faster than her fastest this season. She always manages to pull out a great performance at districts. I didn't realize how long the race actually was though, until I watched the beginning, went to the bathroom, and watched her finish. It doesn't seem that long when you're running.

JS was starting our relay off, because I refused to and my coach wanted me to anchor it. She was racing against seven other girls, and we had to get in the top six to have a chance to qualify. The top two in each district automatically made it, and then the next fastest twelve teams qualified. We knew we wouldn't get first or second so not only were we racing against the other people in the race, we were racing against others in the state.

The race did not start out well. A few seconds after they began, the gun was shot off again and everyone had to start over. We couldn't figure out what was going on, you wouldn't think anyone would false start a distance race but we didn't see anyone fall either. Somebody nearby thought one of the girls had cut over too soon, but we were worried that it would throw JS off because it appeared to have happened around or to her. According to my parents, a girl had cut too soon which made another girl fall right in front of JS. She managed to dodge the fallen girl, probably due to her experience dodging people at the last track meet.

After the race began again, JS was in the back and a little boxed in, one of the reasons I don't like starting a relay. She managed to get around some girls though and handed off the baton to RB in 4th place. She had ran a 2:33, right what she needed to do. RB ran a 2:33 also, and kept us in 4th place, when the baton was handed off to AL. We knew that AL was our slowest girl but she is extremely hard working. She let a girl slip past her though and started falling back. Both RB and JS were on the track screaming at her to speed it up, districts is probably the only place where you can do this and get away with not saying anything nice. Her PR for an 800 was 2:37, but she ran a 2:41.

The baton was given to me in 5th place. It was up to me, everyone had already done what they could. My coach was yelling at me to get the 4th place girl, as were my teammates. RB and JS were actually screaming at me more than my coach was. We had agreed before the race to remember what state was like when we began slowing down, because except for AL, we were all on last years 4x800 team. I did this throughout the race, whenever my legs felt tired, I would think about how much I wanted to go to state. Districts are a different meet because of this, you run as much on emotions as anything else.

On my second lap, the girl was only a few seconds closer, but at districts, everything counts. With 200m left to go, I sprinted with everything I had left. I realized that I was the one finishing this, my time would depend on our team time. I was not going to let them down. So when I had 100m left, where I usually become tired without enough energy to sprint, I pushed it harder. I told myself that I had to run at state, I wanted to race at Drake so badly. And I crossed the line using energy I didn't know I had.

My PR for an 800 is 2:34, which I have run three times. Once last year, at divisionals, when my coach told me that if I ran fast than I could run at districts. That performance really surprised him and it's one of my favorite 800's. I ran the same time twice this year and I was ready to beat it. So, following the pattern of our first two runners, I ran a 2:33. Our relay time was 10:23, four seconds slower than last year's cutoff time. This was obviously not good, not only because we were ranked 25th in our class with a time of 10:26 and only 24 teams ran at state, but also because we were on the edge. AL looked like she was ready to cry and didn't cooldown with us, although we kept reassuring her that it wasn't her fault. We weren't mad at her, we were just really worried that we would make it. The three of us knew we had done our best out there and we had done what we needed to do. AL was trying to make excuses, which kind of bothered me because excuses aren't a real reason. We were not in a good mood but we were coming together against one of the real causes that we might not make it.

RACE REPORT: DIVISIONALS

2009-05-10T12:04:00.003-05:00

Our divisional track meet was on Friday, the last one before districts, the state qualifying meet. I had taken my A.P. U.S. History exam in the morning and relaxed after that. I was really nervous about the meet, given that it was so important. I knew our team wouldn't do well, especially with the state champion team who hasn't last a meet since 2005, being there, and I knew I probably wouldn't score any points for my team. This meet was about getting my times down and redeeming myself after my last few meets.

When I left for the meet, it was about 76 degrees outside, warmer than what we have been racing and practicing in. The A.P. exam changed my schedule because I wasn't able to drink water while testing. This was especially important on such a warm day. When I arrived at the meet, everyone seemed to be wearing shorts and tshirts, but we were still hot. There was no trees around the track and the sun was blazing down. The track itself was in terrible condition, especially in the first lane with parts of the asphalt not there. There were storms coming though, even if it didn't look like it.

I was running the 3000 and 1500 again, something that gave me a little extra confidence because my coach believed in me. AK was running the 3000m with me so we began warming up. We ran four laps before doing some stretching. My legs were feeling okay, not good but not bad. The heat was really worrying me though, and I was getting thirsty. The sky didn't look like it would storm at all, but they turned the stadium lights on.

There was to be one heat of the 3000m, with more than 20 girls running. This meant the start would be chaotic, with everyone trying to find a place, and lucky me, I was in lane 1A. Going around the curve, everybody would of course cut me off, which I was not excited about. There was also a spot where I was starting, that didn't have any of the track surface, it was just dirt. AK was in 8A, on the opposite side.

When the race began, I was only sort of boxed in, because the JV people started behind varsity. I managed slip around the inside of the corner, and was able to run next to the two girls who would go on to place first and third. This was only 50m into the race though but I soon settled into a position.

With 5 laps to go in this 7.5 lap race, I began getting tired. I was already thirsty, but with this, I started to panic. Trying to convince myself that I was not at all tired, I kept repeating that "I can do this".

There was a mile left to race when I could really feel my energy slipping away. I didn't know what to do, I had no idea how I was going to finish the race. The group of people ahead of me, slowly became farther and farther away as I struggled to maintain my pace. I could feel the sun beating down on me and kept licking my lips because they were so dry. This probably wasn't the best thing to do, because my mouth was only becoming drier.

With two laps to go, I was at 8:46, where I usually am, with hopes of a 11:30 fading away. I knew I had to speed it up but I couldn't, it just wasn't there. AK was way behind me, but first place wasn't far. One of my goals was not to be lapped and when the gun went off for the leader, I really started pushing it. Or, what felt fast but what really wasn't. Coming into the front stretch, I could hear people yelling the leader's name so I began a sort of sprint. I could feel her closing in on me, but with seconds to spare, I crossed the line and she didn't lap me.

My strategy for my races is a fast last lap. In this race though, I had nothing left, I hadn't for multiple laps. My legs were so tired as I ran the last lap just like any other. I tried sprinting, I tried going faster. The energy just wasn't in my legs. There was only 200m to go when I felt someone closing in behind me. With 100m left, I knew she was there. I sprinted with everything I had left, which wasn't much. I was already using energy I didn't know that I had. At 20m from the line, she passed me. I asked myself if I had anything left to push past her and my legs answered with a no. My legs just weren't there. I looked down at my watch and saw the time of 12:08. Before I could reflect on how I completely sucked, I had to deal with the timers who don't believe you need rest time before they ask you your name.

I waited for AK, who had finished about 10 seconds after me before we walked to the side. She sat down on the grass, so I sat down next to her. I needed something to drink, my legs were tired, and my feet had to get out of my spikes, but sitting just felt so good. When a lady came by and told us that it would feel better if we walked around, she was lucky that I had no energy to get into a fight with her. I wanted to ask her if she had ever ran the 3000m and have it feel more terrible than usual.

AK told me that she might've had a slower time a week ago, but this race felt the worst. I agreed with her, having just ran over 12 minutes, my only slower 3000 this season being my first race of the year. I knew I had just ruined my chances of a good 3000m this year, even as my coach had believed in me more than ever. I was trying not to cry as I watched the 4x800. My times just kept going up and my legs were just so tired. It was hard walking back to our clothes after sitting for almost 10 minutes.

I had taken my spikes off and was just sitting in the grass in my socks, when my coach came over. He sat down next to us and said that we had looked sluggish. AK confirmed that sluggish was what it felt like and our coach said we'd have to try something different instead of letting us go swimming like he did this week. He said that he knew we were trying and we just weren't running to get it over with. He told us he knew we were running to compete and the face that he understand made it so much better. My coach told us to cool down and told me that I still had a race to go. When he asked what he could do to make my next race go better, I told him he could make it rain, especially while I was running. With dark clouds hovering (they had suddenly appeared once our race had ended, plus it had become about 10 degrees cooler with wind), he told me that he was going to do a rain dance. He also broke up the tension by calling me a duck among squirrels (yes, he calls the distance girls the "scampering squirrels" and yes, it can get embarrassing).

While the varsity 4x800 was going on, the sky suddenly became darker and we could see lightening. They waited until about half of the teams finished the race before calling for a rain delay. The problem was that, while most of the runners had finished, our team along with another was still out there. I'm not sure why they didn't wait for the race to finish before delaying it, because people immediately began running across the track. JS was finishing the relay up while people were swarming the track, so she had to yell to clear the track during a race. It turns out that the assistant coach didn't get her time because she was too busy cussing people out on the track because they wouldn't move. AK and I waited for JS and I ran around on the metal bleachers trying to find her shirt while it was lightening out. We were one of the last groups to go to our car, but I finally felt like racing, because it was raining out.

The rain delay was supposed to only last for a half an hour but it started to pour. I waited in the car for awhile before we went to McDonalds. I ate half a salad, because I needed something to eat and it wasn't like I was going to eat real McDonalds food. The delay was about 95 minutes and it offered some much needed rest for my legs. They still felt very tired though, even while I was sitting down.

While waiting to warmup for the 1500, the meet seemed to go by quickly. This was the last meet for the JV people and the last meet for two senior distance girls. They are both very nice and I'm really going to miss them. I've ran with them for about three years and they've remained my friends as I have improved. When we finally warmed up, we did it together. They were both sad, because they were doing their last race, and excited, because it would be together. They stretched on their own while JS and I talked together. We were both really nervous because we knew this race was going to be fast and neither of us felt that way.

There was to be two heats of the 1500m, which was both good and bad. I wanted to cheer the seniors on because it was their last race but I didn't want to run with just varsity people. Cheering the seniors on was kind of sad, but we were proud of them. They've both been through a lot of injuries and they were trading last place for awhile. They managed to pull it out though, and both finished ahead of another girl. We didn't get time to congratulate them because we had to start our own race.

I was in the outside lane while JS was in the middle. The first part of the race is always full of cutting people off and elbowing, but this one was even more so. Instead of 3/4 of a lap, it took 1.5 laps for things to even sort of settle down. I was running with a group of four girls with JS a little behind me. One girl in our group spent the whole race speeding up to get ahead of us but then slowing down because she couldn't maintain the pace. It was kind of annoying because it threw off our pace.

At two laps to go, I was still within my little group. My legs didn't feel tired like they had been, but they didn't have that much energy. I was really trying to stay with those girls though, because I knew that if I fell back, I would keep going in the same direction. I was determined to have a better race than my 3000m.

With a lap to go, I had been running for 4:06, about the same time as I was on Monday. I knew I wouldn't do well with this race and this didn't really surprise me. There was still a race to finish however, and I had to beat some of those girls. So I sprinted, telling myself that I could rest when I was done, that I had to make my coach somehow proud. So I tried not to listen to my tired legs and went as hard as I could.

There was 100m and I was ahead of the girls I had been with. One came up right beside me though and with all our sprinting, she was elbowing and hitting me so I did the same to her. She moved ahead a little bit and we both caught a girl in front of us. I was next to the girl we had caught while the other one pushed past us. The girl beside me was slightly ahead of me as my legs screamed at me to stop. I tried finding something extra, something that would get me past this girl, but I didn't have much. I lunged at the line and I have no idea who beat who. I came in at 5:26, about 10 seconds ahead of JS. The same girl who won the 3000m, won the 1500m as well.

I waited a little before taking off my spikes while JS went off to hold some sprinter's blocks. I knew I hadn't done well in either of my races but my legs just weren't there. I had tried so hard, but my times continued to slip up. Because I was angry at myself for this, I did two cooldown laps instead of one. My coach stood on the other side of the fence and watched me. He didn't talk to me. I know my coach and I know what he means when he doesn't talk to you. He doesn't yell and he doesn't give lectures. He just doesn't talk. And that's what hurts more than anything at that meet, that he didn't talk to me, didn't say a thing after my race. At least I didn't have to do a team cooldown with the sprinters.

3000
me- 12:08

1500
me- 5:26

RACE REPORT: IT SUCKED

2009-05-07T09:15:00.000-05:00

So on Monday we had another track meet. And it sucked. And now my legs are super tired, my coach is disappointed, and I have to pull out something amazing in order to be good again. Let's just say the meet didn't go well.

We only had to ride a school bus for about 45 minutes to get to the town in the middle of nowhere where our meet was. Of course the bus was very crowded so I couldn't move. We had to make sure the coaches each got their own seat though because they can't sit together. I think I know why my coach drove by himself. It really was a town in the middle of nowhere though, it took us about two minutes to get to the edge of it, where the school and track was. The track had cornfields around it, it felt like stereotypical Iowa. Most of the seven teams there had a similar vibe going on, in that they were small with not very fast runners. This meant I had a chance and my main competitors would be from the next biggest team there, who were one of the top five teams in their class.

My first race of the day was the 4x800. I was running it with JS and AK which we were pretty excited about. We don't usually get to run a relay together and we wanted to prove something to the mid distance runners. That is one of the reasons we warmed up by ourselfs and did not do the team warmup. Instead we ran three laps before stretching. It was getting a little warm out, in the upper 60's, which was making me really thirsty. We haven't had much warm weather so I haven't gotten used to racing in it.

JS agreed to go first because I didn't want to, so I was going last. Running first makes it feel harder and I like when the gaps are already established. It makes me want to race. She ran about a 2:36, but she wasn't feeling very good. AK in her first 800 this season, ran a 2:40 and the third runner did a 2:45. When the baton was handed off to me, we were in second, about 60m behind first place but only 10m ahead of third place.

The first lap didn't feel too bad, judging by 800 standards. My legs felt a little tired but when I began lapping the JV people, including my own teammate, it made me feel a little better. On the second lap, I was hearing footsteps behind me for awhile, and I couldn't figure out if that was third place or somebody I had lapped. I was really pushing it because I didn't want to be the one losing second but with 100m to go, my legs and arms were very tired. It didn't matter though, because it was someone I had lapped that I was hearing. We took second, way ahead of third place but still about 60m behind first place. My coach seemed to be a little disappointed with it but I felt like I had run pretty good. My time- 2:34 again. I seem to be good at tying my PRs.

I was really tired after my 800 and the meet was moving really fast, so I wasn't able to get as much rest. I didn't know when we would have to warm up for the 1500m, so I wasn't sure how much to eat or drink. My throat felt really dry though and I was really thirsty. I drank more water than I probably should have but I couldn't really help it. It tasted really good.

About an hour after the 4x800, it was time to warm up for the 1500m. My legs were already tired, although I didn't run over the weekend for that reason. I knew I had to get a good time though, to prove to my coach that I could improve with my 1500. I had a hard time convincing myself that I could do that though, because I was so tired. The four laps we did as a warmup for very slow because of this. I couldn't wait to get the race over with.

The winning time for the 3000m was 11:54, slow and a second slower than my Friday time. I would like to think that I would've factored into the race but judging by my 1500, that might not have been the case. The race did make me think that I could do very well in the 1500m and when I checked in, it looked like I had the fastest time out of the runners. I didn't really care about the places though, I cared about the times and how fast I could go.

There was no lane assignments so AK and I took the middle lanes. We weren't on the line for long and once we took off, I settled in at third place. The other two girls seemed to really take off and I didn't think they could keep it up for the whole race. I was going to kind of pace myself and not depend on any other runners but myself. This meant I was not running next to AK, but I usually don't in the 1500m.

The first lap felt pretty good but a struggled a bit with the second. I tried to tell myself that after this lap, I'd only have an 800 but it didn't do very much good. I could feel myself slowing down a little but I tried to resist it and catch the girls in front of me. With two laps to go, the first two girls were still ahead of me and I was getting tired. I was just trying to hold onto third place because I didn't know where the other girls were behind me.

With a lap to go, I was at 4:06, six seconds slower that Friday's slow time. I passed the girl ahead of me with 300m to go. I knew for sure that I was going slow but that I had to sort of salvage the race with the last lap. Except, with no one near me, I didn't try as hard as I should've. I didn't do what I was supposed to.

I finished in 5:28 or 5:29, my second slowest 1500 and my slowest outdoor 1500m of the season. Second place was mine but with the first girl coming in at 5:14, I knew that I could've won the race. I should have been up there but I wasn't. And it was my own fault. I lost that race. It was me.

My coach didn't say much after my race, just asked me how it felt. I told him that it was not good because I was so tired. AK finished about five seconds behind me in third place and she felt good, so I tried to refrain from talking about how I had ruined my race. What did make the day better though- free popcorn.

1500
2nd- 5:29

PLATEAU

2009-05-03T19:44:00.000-05:00

Even with all the training I have been doing, I've hit a plateau. My 3000m times have not decreased since I ran 11:46 on April 11. They've actually been increasing with 11:50 and 11:53. My coach thinks I can run an 11:30, but I'm not sure about that. He says I need competition, people running those times instead of the large gaps that there has been. It's hard to believe him though when whatever I'm doing doesn't seem to be working.

What's most frustrating however, is not my 3000m. It's the 1500, my favorite race. The last four times I've ran in the race- 5:23, 5:18, 5:18, 5:19. I need to improve in this race if I want to go anywhere with it. My coach keeps telling me that a big drop in time follows a plateau but with Friday's meet, it doesn't seem like it. Comparing that meet with the one on April 11, in which I ran the same races, I've gotten slower in both events. I don't know what to do about it but I want to do something. And it's not like there isn't anyone else in my races who aren't running those times, if I would have run a 5:18 on Friday, the crazy finish wouldn't have been a problem. I feel like I can get my times down except I'm too tired from practices. We haven't even been doing that much in practices though so I'm not sure. I don't like complaining about my times that much either, before this season I would've been estastic to be running like this. I just really want to get better and improve, but I don't know how.

THE WAR IN CYCLING: PART TWO

2009-05-03T19:38:00.003-05:00

The War in Cycling (Continued)

A severe crash prevented Jan Ullrich’s teammate and veteran rider, Alexandre Vinokourov, from being an opponent of Lance Armstrong during 2004 (Coyle 205). Coyle writes in Lance Armstrong’s War, how Vinokourov’s harsh life growing up in Kazakhstan made him a stronger rider (57-59). He continued to improve and by 2007, he had become a prerace favorite for the Tour. According to race officials, this Tour de France was going to be cleaner than the previous year in cycling. Instead, doping again racked the Tour. Vinokourov tested positive for blood doping after a remarkable comeback from serious injuries sustained during the race (“Vinokourov” par. 1-5). His teammate, Andrey Kashechkin, also tested positive for blood doping, and as a result, their team Astana, withdrew from the Tour (“Kashechkin” par. 1-2).

Iban Mayo, a quiet Basque climber, was the last of Armstrong’s 2004 rivals to be brought down by doping. On July 30, 2007, it was announced that Mayo had tested positive for EPO during the 2007 Tour de France, which had been completed only days earlier. He refused to confess, maintaining his innocence but was convicted and received a two year ban (“Hold the Mayo!” par. 1). It is unknown whether he will attempt a comeback but has dropped out of the cycling world. Mayo has been relatively forgotten about although most cycling fans agree he is guilty of doping.

The positive doping tests of many successful cyclists have put other riders under speculation. This includes the man who was at the center of David Coyle’s book, Lance Armstrong. He has split riders, directors, and fans over the belief of whether he did or did not cheat using performance enhancing substances. Armstrong has passed every single doping test yet has been continually plagued by rumors. Former employees of his team have accused him of doping and the positive tests of his ex-teammates have only helped the accusations. Armstrong remains as one of cycling’s biggest heroes and his 2009 comeback is well looked upon by many fans.

I believe that Lance Armstrong rode clean. My theory maintaining his innocence is a mix of other’s opinions but comes also from the man himself. He has simply too much to lose. If he cheated, Armstrong would become the biggest cycling and American doping scandal. Not only would the sport be affected, but also everything he has built up outside of cycling, such as the LiveSTRONG foundation. Critics have acknowledged this but say Armstrong could not have predicted what has become of his wins after he came back from cancer. Yet he was a talented rider before he had the disease and cancer could have made his mindset even stronger. Various tests have proven that Lance Armstrong has a physical advantage over the other riders, creating less lactic acid, recovering faster, and having a larger lung capacity. In Lance Armstrong’s War, teammates describe him as training harder and longer than anyone else, in hopes of getting just a little bit better (Coyle 167). Armstrong was meticulous in everything he did; he sought the best equipment and tried to perfect even the smallest of details (Coyle 76). Yet what gave him the extra edge was his focus, his drive to beat everybody else no matter what happened. Armstrong won the Tour de France seven times. He was tested more than anyone else because of his victories but if he was cheating, he would have had to somehow evade the tests.

Doping has tainted cycling in the races, the records, and the results. No longer is an unexpected and outstanding result met with congratulations. Instead it raises suspicion and the performance falls under the always prevalent question of “is he doping?” Critics laud the races as drug filled and the media is full of articles questioning the credibility of the sport. Fans no longer know which riders to believe and as a result, sponsors have discontinued their teams. Operación Puerto has been once more opened up and two successful riders have been linked to the scandal. Among the chaos, are the cyclists themselves; some are outspoken against doping, but many are quiet in the midst of the fighting. Most would prefer to just ride their bikes, although they do support the effort to clean up their sport. Three professional cycling teams have implemented extreme anti doping programs to try and reclaim cycling as clean. Cycling may be the sport most connected with cheating but that is because cycling is the sport that has done the most to find the cheats. No other sport has such extreme testing or long term bans, but cycling has the image of being the dirty sport because so many abusers are caught.

Amidst all the mayhem in cycling, among the questions about the riders and the races, loyalty is no longer strictly to a team or a cyclist, but to the sport itself. It comes off as a laugh to the general public and there is always a difficulty in understanding why people would bother following the sport. These same people do not realize how hard the races are and the bravery is sometimes in simply finishing the race, such as the Paris-Roubaix or the Tour de France. Daniel Coyle reveals in Lance Armstrong’s War what it takes to be a cyclist, the intense training, the constant pressure, and the always prevalent danger of crashing. He describes the magnificence of a solo mountaintop win, the crazed fans who line the roads, the pain on the faces of the cracked riders, and the glory of winning a single stage. Yes, it’s hard to see races torn apart because of doping, and faith in the sport wavers. Something continues to bring you back however and doping will not drive away the real fans among us. Cycling reveals the true champions in the midst of cobblestones, 40mph sprint finishes, rolling hills, and mountains.

THE WAR IN CYCLING: PART ONE

2009-05-03T19:29:00.003-05:00

For one of my classes, I was required to read a book and do a research paper on a topic from that book. Because there was basically no restrictions, I was able to choose a topic that I enjoyed and read Lance Armstrong's War by Daniel Coyle. I loved the book and really liked writing the paper because I learned so much more about cycling. Not all of my research was strict though, Bike Forums isn't the best resource, but I really tried to represent and defend the sport. I had to change the paper a little bit to fit with the guidelines and let the average reader understand it but I really like how it turned out. This is what I wrote.

The War in Cycling

Cheating has been entwined with the Tour de France for decades. During the second year of the race, the top four riders were disqualified for a variety of offenses such as riding the train, sabotage of other riders, and being towed by a car (Barnett par. 4). Cheating has become more refined over the years and is no longer visible to the human eye. Various forms of doping are now the chosen form of cheating, and only concrete evidence, extreme doping controls, and extensive laboratory tests seem to be catching the fakes. Yet it’s not enough, as more riders continue to get away with cheating.

In Lance Armstrong’s War: One Man’s Battle Against Fate, Fame, Love, Death, Scandal, and a Few Other Rivals on the Road to the Tour de France, Daniel Coyle takes a look at not only Lance Armstrong, but also his rivals during the 2004 Tour de France and the sport of cycling itself. Although the book requires some knowledge of cycling and the riders, it is extremely entertaining and interesting. Coyle offers a look into the world of a cyclist, the training involved in becoming a world class rider, how the teams evolve, and how each one differs from the other. The book concentrates on a simpler time in the sport in which doping and cycling were not synonymous. Coyle briefly mentions doping in his book but this form of cheating was not a well known public issue at the time. In the four years since Lance Armstrong’s War was written, doping has affected the careers of Armstrong, his chief rivals, and many other riders as well.

The controversy of doping has turned the world of cycling upside down. To fully understand the issues one must first know a little background about the doping itself. One of the first most widely used forms is blood doping. This is the practice of transfusing oxygen-carrying red blood cells in order to enhance aerobic capacity and endurance. An outside source or the cyclist’s own red blood cells can be used, although both are dangerous because of the risks involved such as infection and blood diseases. Urine and blood tests have been created to detect evidence of this form of doping (Fiedler par. 1-2). Erythropoietin, or EPO, is possibly the most popular drug used by cyclists who cheat. Injection of EPO increases the growth of red blood cells and has a similar effect on the body as blood doping. Blood and urine tests have been used since 2000 to detect EPO. New “generations” of this drug have been created so tests continue to evolve (Asplund par. 2-4).

One of the first opponents of Lance Armstrong that Coyle mentions in his book is Tyler Hamilton. An American with a history of bad luck of crashing in races, Hamilton also had a reputation for being polite and respectful. In fact, the chapter in Lance Armstrong’s War about Hamilton is titled “The Nicest Guy” (Coyle 36-37). He was a former teammate of Armstrong’s on the U.S. Postal team, but left to become the leader of a rival team. He created a family sort of environment on this team which focused on forming strong bonds between the riders (Coyle 40-41). This, along with his gracious personality, made it hard to believe the two positive blood doping tests at the Olympics (where he won gold) and the Vuelta a España in September 2004 (Coyle 307-310). After an initial outpouring of support from his American fans, Hamilton was convicted and received a two year ban. He continues to deny the charges, even blaming an undeveloped twin for the foreign blood found by the test. His denials have made him a joke among many cycling fans which, along with race exclusions, have made his subsequent comeback difficult (Jones, “Tyler” par. 1-8).

Jan Ullrich and Ivan Basso, considered by Coyle as Armstrong’s biggest opponents during 2004 (6), were caught up in the scandal of Operación Puerto. On May 23, 2006, members of the Astana- Würth team were arrested for having connections to Dr. Fuentes. A sports doctor, Dr. Fuentes had been arrested for helping athletes enhance their performances illegally by using such methods as EPO or blood doping (Jones, “Saiz” par. 1-3). The case included many types of athletes but only road cycling was focused upon. Names of riders who had connections with Fuentes began leaking to the press, but it wasn’t until June 29, only two days before the Tour de France, that the full list of 58 cyclists was revealed (Jones, “More” par. 1-3). Mass suspensions and arrests rocked the cycling world in the biggest doping scandal to hit the sport. As a result of those charges and Armstrong’s 2005 retirement, none of the riders who placed in the top 5 of the 2005 Tour de France, raced in the 2006 version. Jan Ullrich was suspended and fired from his team because of the doping accusations. DNA evidence later confirmed these speculations and Ullrich retired from racing in February 2007 (Kröner par. 1). Ivan Basso, a young rider with an impressive reputation as the only cyclist to successfully keep up with Lance Armstrong in the mountains, was also indicted in Operación Puerto. In May 2007, he admitted to contacting Dr. Fuentes with the intent to dope, but maintains that it was only attempted doping (Brown, “Basso: ‘It” par. 1-3). Basso received a two year ban and began his comeback to professional racing in late 2008 (Brown, “Basso Ends” par. 1). Despite their doping charges, Ullrich and Basso continue to be adored and respected by their countries and cycling fans.

Operación Puerto suspended many riders suspected of doping from the 2006 Tour de France, but doping still shook the race. Floyd Landis, an American and ex- teammate of Lance Armstrong, was a former Mennonite and mountain bike racer. Daniel Coyle describes Landis as someone loyal to his team but still desiring to strike out on his own (157-166). Coming in as a dark horse favorite in 2006, he would get his chance to be a leader. Suffering from a hip injury, Landis lost over eight minutes on a mountain stage during the 2006 Tour. In what has been called one of the most epic rides in cycling, he made up most of that time the next day on a 128km solo ride (Decaluwé, Tan, and Kröner par. 1-7). Landis won the Tour de France, but it was later announced that he had tested positive for testosterone after his impressive stage. The news shocked the cycling world, not only because many of the cheats were thought to have been previously removed, but also because of Landis’s personality and the type of performance enhancing drug used. Testosterone is used to gain muscle in sports that require bulking up. In cycling, riders try to remain as light as possible in order to achieve a better power to weight ratio, which makes climbing mountains easier. Landis denied doping and has continually maintained his innocence. His book, Positively False, explains his side of the doping scandal. On September 22, 2007, Landis was officially stripped of his Tour title and given a two year suspension (Bass par. 1-8). He has now returned to cycling but is not completely respected by fans because of his refusal to confess.

RACE REPORT: OUR TURN TO WIN

2009-05-03T12:09:00.005-05:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, I was not looking forward to my race. I had spent most of the three hours in between my races sitting on a blanket, and talking with my friends and my coach. We watched AK eat a cold baked potato and just relaxed. There was a little problem because JS's shirt was stolen by a member of another team and they refused to give it back, although it did have her last name printed on it. She did get the shirt back after the meet once the coach threatened the team. They were going to have to do hills though in punishment for taking the shirt, which we thought was kind of funny.

About an hour before our race, JS and I began warming up, doing four laps. My legs were feeling very tired and I just wanted to sit down. I tried to change my outlook but it wasn't working. I didn't want to race the 1500m, it seemed like I had already done enough. There wasn't anything I could do to change it however, so I didn't tell my coach. He was already excited, because our team was tied for first, and I didn't want to disappoint him.

As we stood on the line, waiting for the gun to go off, I noticed that it had grown dark and the lights were on. Usually this is one of my favorite things about the race but it didn't really register with me throughout the race. All I could think about was how I wanted to get under 5:18 but how I probably wouldn't. I wasn't going to really pace myself though, I was just going to race.

I didn't want to start out too fast so after 3/4 of a lap, I was towards the back. As long as I didn't start out next to a girl in orange, whose team always fades back after taking a 15m lead on the first lap, I was going to be okay. My legs didn't feel very tired in the race but they didn't feel fast either. With two laps to go, I was around 2:30 and moving up. There wasn't a lot of groups, just one or two runners that were easier to pass.

With a lap to go, I remembered the advice from the coach of the girl in red in the 3000m. She said to make the last lap hurt and that's what I set out to do. There was two girls running together a little in front of me and my coach was yelling at me to pass them so I could score. With 200m to go, JS, those two girls, and I were all running together. Around that last corner, my coach (who must have ran across the field to get there) stood with the two coaches of the other girls. They were all screaming at us to beat one another as they were standing right next to each other. I thought this was kind of funny because they looked hilarious and it wasn't up to them anyways. It was the runners who had to finish the race. They weren't giving us any extra power or motivation that we didn't already have.

I moved ahead of the group with 75m to go, sprinting with all I had left. A girl in purple was slowly moving towards the lane ahead of me and I knew I had to try and get her too. There was a big gap between us and it seemed almost impossible to close it. At 15m from the line, she was still ahead of me but the crowd had faded from the sides. It was almost like having tunnel vision, I only heard myself saying "push it, push it". I could see her trying to go faster but only steps from the line, I passed her and took 4th. JS placed 6th, beating the two girls, and making us double scorers. My coach was happy with our finish and that we had scored. My time was slower at 5:23 and so was JS's time of 5:25. Our team won the meet though, which was pretty exciting. And 10 of the 125 points we scored were mine.

I ran a quick cooldown lap after the meet before taking pictures with the trophy on our two hour bus ride and eating french fries from Arby's. They actually have very good french fries, which are one of my favorite things to eat after a track meet. They made up for my slower races as did the trophy.

1500
4th- 5:23

RACE REPORT: OH NO SHE DIDN'T

2009-05-02T20:08:00.004-05:00

Yesterday's track meet experience began with discrimination against track athletes. Meaning we rode a school bus for two hours. I was out of comfortable positions after fifty minutes. And we were on the school bus for two whole hours. Why don't I play any sports that receive attention?

During this two hour bus ride (and this was only on the way there) we had to stop in some town in the middle of nowhere because one of the sprinters (this wouldn't have happened with any of the distance runners) had to go to the bathroom. Yes she is pretty fast sprinter but we were about half an hour away and she was only one girl. This made me very angry because I wanted to get off the bus as soon as I could.

When we actually arrived at the meet, it was windy and in the upper 50's. It was a coed varsity meet with teams we don't usually compete against. We were only there about five minutes before I began warming up with my teammate AK for the 3000m. I wasn't feeling good about my races but I had managed to change my attitude about the 3000. Because the teams were smaller, I thought I might have a chance to place. My legs were very tired though and I was having to do the big double, the 3000 and the 1500. For some reason my coach put me in these events, probably because I didn't tell him I was so tired. I was running well earlier in the week but our Wednesday practice really tired me out. I wasn't feeling ready at all and wasn't sure how I would do.

We spent about 10 minutes in line for the bathroom although it would've been longer if a couple of girls hadn't taken over the men's restroom for awhile. After our wonderful wait, we did some stretching. I paid close attention to my right calf and shin which have been feeling a little weird. The adrenaline must've been working though because they didn't hurt during my race. We did some strides which I usually try to avoid and then we were ready to go.

My goal for the race was 92 seconds per lap or 11:30. My coach thought I could do it as long as we didn't start out too fast. I thought I could improve this week and was ready to race as we stood on the line. My teammate and I ran the first lap around 86 seconds, a little fast but we were in the back. My coach just reassured us and sure enough, we were moving up. AK and I were using our tactic of running together except she was behind me, something I still haven't gotten used to. I thought we were going a little too slow but my coach wasn't saying much about it.

The 3000m seems like a very long race and it is, but it goes by quicker than you would think when you are running it. That's what it seemed like with two laps to go, when I was around 8:51, almost 10 seconds slower than I have been at the same point. This really disappointed me. I wasn't going to get 11:30 and I knew I probably wouldn't improve. My legs might've been moving just as fast, but my attitude changed when those numbers were called out. My motivation was now based on not disappointing my coach further and not letting my teammate, who was running behind me, or the girl in red beside me, beat me. I guess this isn't entirely true, because I was running in 3rd place (first two girls were way ahead of us) but I didn't have a good attitude about it.

With a lap to go, the three of us were still together. About 15m across the line, the girl in red made a big mistake. She cut me off. That's acceptable on the first lap when we are all trying to get into position, but not on the last lap. She was running beside me and then all of a sudden she's in front of me and I'm slowing down so I don't get tripped. I couldn't believe she cut me off, it made my incredibly mad. And that's where she made her mistake. Because I told myself that whatever I did, I was going to beat her. She cut me off but she wasn't going to be ahead of me at the finish line.

I immediately sped up after the little incident and moved in front of her. The rest of the lap was full of mature racing tactics with us changing places several times and probably cutting each other off. She came around the last corner ahead of me but with 100m to go, we were almost right beside each other (I had no idea of where AK was throughout this). Then we had a little probably at 50m from the line. There were two girls, about to be lapped, running in the middle of lane one and the inside of lane two. The girl in red beside me would go to the right and I knew that if I followed her, she would beat me. On the left of the track was the long jump and was paved but there were some ropes separating it. I could go to the left instead, going outside of the white line but not into the grass. I wasn't sure I could squeeze through without knocking something over or pushing the lapped girl so I didn't know what to do.

I went left and crossed the line less than a second ahead of the girl in red. With a time of 11:53, I took 3rd, while AK had 11:58 in fifth. While we stood in line waiting to turn in our place cards, I refused to congratulate the girl in red because I was still very mad. As she told me good job, I wanted to tell her that because she cut me off, she was standing behind me. Instead, I told her the same and walked away from her quickly.

My coach congratulated us and afterwards we watching JS run a 2:32 split in the 4x800. This made me a little worried because she was feeling good and I wasn't, and I didn't want her to beat me in the 1500m, which we were running together. As AK and I did a one lap cooldown, my legs were feeling tired, and I just wanted to sit and eat. This is not a good attitude going into a race but the meet just didn't seem to be going good. And I still had another race to run, one I wanted to well in.

3000
3rd- 11:53

There's more to come.....

WHY DISTANCE?

2009-04-30T09:17:00.004-05:00

On Monday, I had a very interesting practice. I was the only distance runner there, because three of the girls were at a fresh/soph track meet and two girls couldn't come (we are down to only six distance girls when we had about 20 in xc). My coach gave me a sort of private practice which was very weird. Very, very weird. He did have a point though, when he was analyzing the running form of the people on the track around us. While telling me how my form has improved, he also mentioned how other people could become better. As one boy ran by, my coach told me that he ran like an xc or distance runner although he was a hurdler. Because this kid also plays football (I think) there's no way this would happen, though he'd probably be pretty good. It made me wonder if I chose the right distance or if I would be better being a sprinter while in high school. Then, I couldn't help but thinking about how I chose to be a distance runner. Or how I didn't really choose, but instead how the sport chose me.

In first grade I ran my first mile in about nine and a half minutes (yes, I know all my elementary school mile times). I beat everyone in my combined first/second grade class except three or four boys. It gave me such an exhilarating feeling, I was hooked. I wanted to become faster, to get even better.

I rocked the mile throughout elementary school, continually beating almost everyone. Occasionally some boys would get ahead of me, but they knew I could run just as fast as them. This early talent led me to join YMCA track and field, which is just a bunch of little kids pretending they know how to run. In the short events, such as everything from the 60m to 400m dash, I was just one among the pack. But in the 600m (which I thought was really long), I was good. And so I became a "distance" runner in elementary school.

In middle school, I continued running the longer races, sometimes being the only one from my school. I didn't have the initial burst of speed needed to be a sprinter but I could outkick all my teammates in the last lap of the 1500m. I still don't have that speed, which is evident by our workout yesterday, but I do have that kick.

I wasn't really a "distance" runner though, until I went to high school. Now I feel the urge to just go for a seven mile run, not thinking much of it. My race distances have become a little longer and I'm a lot faster but I still run the distance events. A decision that went back to elementary school. I think I made the right choice.

RACE REPORT: FOR THE FIRST TIME

2009-04-26T15:32:00.014-05:00

"A dream doesn't become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination, and hard work." ~Colin Powell

When I trained during the winter, running miles and miles in the cold and snow, I often wondered why I was doing it. As I struggled up icy hills and fought against the freezing wind, I asked myself if anything would make it worth it. Why was I outside when no one else seemed to be? Why did I keep going when it was so hard? Why was I running? Was it worth it?Yesterday, among the hovering clouds and the ever present rain, I found an answer.

My track meet was not looking good. It had been hot all week and because I wasn't used to it, the heat was affecting me more than usual. The workouts had been really tiring me out and I've been barely keeping up with my teammate on most of them. My left quad and shins have been hurting, and I've been icing them without letting my coach know. The four meets in two weeks had really tired me out and I wasn't sure how I would do. About 2/3's of our team weren't coming to the meet because they were either at the Drake Relays (only about five were actually competing) or they just didn't bother to come. I thought the Drake Relays would lessen the competition among the distance events, but because we were only competing against three teams, all the distance runners were there.

While nothing leading up to this meet boded well, the weather looked fantastic. The gray skies constantly threatened to downpour while a steady drizzle fell. The temperature was in the mid 50's and everything was damp. It was a beautiful day to run. At least in my opinion, as the spectators and my teammates seemed to disagree. I couldn't wait to race though, and was beginning to feel a little bit better about how I would do.

My coach had told me I was to run an 800 and the 1500. While I wasn't listed to run an 800, my coach said he'd fit me in somewhere. Because he, the distance coach, was acting as the head coach (who was at Drake), I figured he'd be able to find me an 800. When I asked him before the meet however, he told me that the 1500m was all I would do because he wasn't allowed to move the lineups. Minutes after my coach decided this, he found that the anchor of the distance medley (an 800) wasn't coming and that I would run in her place. Our JV runners were entered in the event and they weren't a fast relay team but that would lessen the pressure on me. I was walking with my teammate JS, who was running the 3000, and was about to warm up, when my coach changed his plans.

Apparently, the 4x800 team was missing a runner. One girl was already scheduled to not attend the meet and another girl just didn't show up. Because the 4x800 relay was better than the distance medley, my coach was switching me with a girl he had chosen to replace the missing runner. The only problem was that he told me this twenty minutes before the race was to begin. I told him I hadn't started warming up yet but all he said was that I better begin.

I crunched my hour to fifty minute warmup into twenty minutes, running two fast laps and doing some quick stretching, only stopping for the national anthem. I was to take the place of the third runner, which gave me some extra time, but I wasn't able to stop at the bathroom or do any strides. All this rushing was giving my some extra adrenaline and I was still able to watch JS place second in the 3000, behind the girl who ran the 3000m at Drake and was running the first leg of the 4x800 for her team.

After half of the race was over, I received the baton in third place, about 10m behind second place. I immediately took off and was right behind the girl after 100m, where my coach was standing. He yelled at me to just hang on to her and only pass her when I knew I could. Being in charge must have done something to my coach, because he was actually shouting advice that made sense. I followed his words and the girl, passing her in front of her teammates with 100m left on the first lap after doing a slingshot move off the corner. I wasn't about to let her do the same to me on the second lap so I was really pushing it. By the time I handed off to our final runner, I had made up a lot of ground on first place although I didn't have a kick in the last 100m.

We placed second in the race, with the gaps about the same as when I handed off. I knew I had ran a fast 800m but I didn't realize how fast it was until my coach walked over with the splits. We had finished with a time of 10:41, with the other's splits being 2:39, 2:42, and 2:45. My split- 2:34, tying my PR which was run last May when my coach told me I had the chance to make it on the varsity 4x800 team and possibly qualify for state. That is also the second fastest 800 ran on the team this season which made me feel pretty good.

My meet was only beginning however, because I still had the 1500m left. Although the meet was going pretty fast, my friends went home while I enjoyed the rain. This kind of disappointed me because I thought I might be able to do well in the 1500. A lack of teammates wasn't going to stop me from doing my best and I wanted to make my coach proud.

It was still drizzling out as my teammate, who was running the JV 1500, and I began warming up for our race. We had began a little earlier than usual because the meet was going quickly. After three laps, we did some stretching and cheered on our team. My coach came over and told me that our team was in last place, three points behind, and I better get some points for our team so we could show the Drake people that we could beat teams without them. The host school was parading their seniors around, which added a lot of unexpected time before our race. The meet went very slowly after this because of various delays, especially in the 200m. We ran an extra lap and did some strides before I put on my spikes and stepped on the track. There was supposed to be lane assignments but they apparently didn't matter. I managed to get into the inside of lane four and then we were off.

I don't like the first 100m of the race because everyone cuts each other off during the sprint. While everyone was fighting each other in the pack, I positioned myself in second place. This surprised me and I worried that I had started out too fast. I knew the girl ahead of me probably did because she was the girl I had passed during the 4x800. Using my race tactics, I let the girl go and concentrated on running my own race. I ran the first lap in 82 seconds, which was, as my coach yelled, where I was supposed to be.

With 2.5 laps to go, a runner from the same team as the girl ahead of me, moved next to me. I matched her stride to stride as we ran in the rain. She seemed to be running strong but I wasn't going to let her get away from me. We were closing the gap on the girl ahead of us and there was no way that I was letting her take the lead. As I passed my coach, who stood at the 1500m starting line, I had dropped the girl by a few seconds and was getting close to first place. My coach just reassured me that I was doing what I was supposed to do.

I was running almost directly behind the lead girl with 1.5 laps to go. That was when I realized that the gun could go off for me. Something I had only dreamed of, the gun might actually go off for me. Tactics didn't concern me as I took off, determined to get to the line before the girl ahead of me.

As I came into the front stretch, there was nobody ahead of me. I was in the lead. Everyone was chasing me. The few people that knew me, that had stayed around to watch, were all screaming my name. A few steps before the line, I watched and smiled as I watched the gun guy lift up his hand. When the gun went off to signal the last lap for the leader, it was going off for me. It was actually going off for me.

When I rounded the curve, I was smiling, not believing what I was doing. I had a race to finish though, and I wasn't about to lose it in the last lap. As I passed my coach at the starting line, where he stood only steps away, he told me that this was where I was so much stronger, this last lap. He wouldn't have had to say anything however, there was no way I was going to let anyone take this race away from me. This was going to be my race.

With 200m to go, I had no idea of how far behind the other girls were. I wasn't about to look back so I only pushed myself harder. I was focused on getting to the line first. When I rounded the curve onto the final stretch, I was by myself. I heard my parents and teammates cheering as I kicked with everything I had left. I sprinted the last 100m in front of the crowd in the rain.

I crossed the line in first place, ahead of every other person running the 1500m. I had won. I won the 1500m. I don't think I have ever won a real race before, there was always a boy or an older runner. Sure, I have beat everybody in the mile at school but in a real race, this was probably the first time that I had ever won. I've thought about it before, what it would be like to come in first, and you know what, it is cool. It is so incredibly awesome.

While I was standing across the finish line, somebody handed me a card with the number one on it and sent me towards a guy holding a clipboard. I glanced at my card, mesmerized by the sight of it. Number one. The clipboard guy was very nice to me and allowed me to catch my breath before I told him my name. When he asked for my card, I relunctantly handed it over. I wanted to keep it, but instead congratulated the other runners who finished behind me. The girl who had run beside me for awhile thanked me for pushing her and I told my teammate she had done a good job, as I watched my coach walk over. We both had smiles on our faces as he high fived me and called me the 1500 meter champion. Those so very wonderful words. Because I had won my race.

They announced the results of the race while we were running a cooldown. I smiled as they said my name, hearing my parents yell and watching my coach cheer. Whenever he saw me, my coach called me the 1500m champion. He also told me that I had ran a "blazing" last lap. I received the congratulations from my teammates who had stayed but I was kind of in shock. I had won my race. It certainly made my coach estastic, he texted an assistant coach about my win who then replied that I was awesome. My coach texted back, "I know".

My name was in the paper today, under the results. The winner of the 1500m. I came in at 5:18, tying my PR and a surprisingly eleven seconds ahead of second place. My time didn't matter though, I had achieved something I had only dreamed of. All of the running I did over the winter, everything I did, it was worth it. I had won. I won my race.

1500
Me (1st)- 5:18
2nd- 5:29
3rd- 5:31

Our team score, that I contributed all of my points to, tied us for third place, out of four teams. It was slightly disappointing but for me, it didn't really matter. I achieved more than what I expected at that rainy track meet.

RACE REPORT: RUNNING IN THE SUN

2009-04-23T09:30:00.005-05:00

On Friday, I had my third track meet in seven days and fourth in two weeks. Needless to say, I was a little tired. I had taken Wednesday off and didn't run much on Thursday, but running hard all the time is not a good recovery. It was a nice 70 degrees for our track meet but a little warm, considering it was 20 degrees warmer than the previous week. There was only five teams but it was coed and both jv and varsity.

I ran the 3000, the first race, in which we only had to stand on the line for more than five minutes. When we were lined up, our lanes were decided by time. I was third from the left, meaning only two girls (two of the big four) had faster times. This was pretty cool because that meant I had beat the more than ten girls to my right. It also meant I had a chance to do well in this race.

It wasn't a very exciting race because the gaps were very large. I ran by myself in third place for practically the whole race, and second and fourth place were so far that there wasn't really anybody to race. That doesn't mean I didn't try my hardest, it just means that I had no one to push me extra hard.

The rest of the meet was spent playing on the playground with my teammates and sitting on the bleachers watching my friends run. I stayed until the end of the meet at 10:30 (it started at 5:00). There was some inspirational moments from some of my teammates but my legs were just so tired that the meet wasn't that exciting.

3000
1st- 10:31
2nd- 11:29
Me (3rd)- 11:50
JS- 12:02

This is the first race of the year that I haven't PRed in (not counting the 800's) which is kind of disappointing but it's not like I thought that I could continue that. I beat JS by a lot which is kind of nice but there was a big gap between the first four places. I was able to work on pacing myself and my coach liked the race so overall, I'm okay with it.

RACE REPORT: TIRED LEGS

2009-04-16T09:30:00.008-05:00

On Tuesday, I had my third track meet in one week. Due to the fact that I am not a machine and that I have to recover sometime, it was not a good one. At least in my opinion. I have no idea why they expect us to be able to run faster with only two or three days of recovery between meets because you can't. Especially if you run the 3000 and 1500. The people in charge need to realize that hey, not everybody runs two 200's so maybe we should give a couple more days between meets (although I haven't run 200's before so I'm not sure how long it takes to recover but it's probably less tiring than the 1500). Because I had just run the 1500 and 3000 on Saturday, I did take the day off on Sunday and ran three miles on Monday. My legs were incredibly tired going into the meet, I could barely do the three miles in 25:30, about 1.5 minutes slower than Friday. I was not expecting good things from the meet, but apparently I did alright.

Our team got out of school early which is always a plus for track meets. Except than we had to go on a hour long bus ride in a school bus because, being only the track team, we don't get charter buses. I have ran on the track we went to once before. I remember about three things from that meet: it was cold and windy, I placed second in the JV 1500, and I almost missed my race because we were in the bathroom. The track is kind of weird; it's backwards, meaning the finish line is opposite where you enter at.

I ran the team warmup, doing two laps and stretching. AK was running the 3000 by herself so I spent some time with her. I waited a little longer than usual, waiting to see if my 4x800 relay team would warmup but they didn't and I didn't know where they were, so I did two more laps by myself. About twenty minutes before the race, my teammates run one lap and call it a warmup with minimal stretching. Considering that two of them run xc, they should know better.

The JV teams ran first, and then our race began. I was running second and I received the baton with only two people behind me, which meant there was a lot of teams ahead of me. My legs were feeling pretty good so I was able to take off and catch a girl on the back stretch. Because we were going about the same pace, I looked to see if her teammates were on that side, so I could pass her in front of them. Yes, this is not the best racing technique and kind of mean, but it discourages the runner. I wasn't sure which team was hers and I waited until after the curve to pass her, near my team.

On the second lap, I passed one more girl. With 100m to go, my legs were tired and my kick wasn't there. I was hoping nobody was right behind me because I wouldn't be able to hold them off and fortunately, I handed the baton off with nobody passing me. I'm not sure what time or place we ended up getting but the 4x800 didn't seem as important to me. I don't like the race very much because you have to sprint two laps and there is not really any racing, just sprinting.

4x800 split- 2:37

JS was supposed to run the 1500 with me but she wasn't there because she was sick. AK decided she would try the big double and run the 1500m along with the 3000m (which she placed third in with a time of 12:00). The meet was anywhere from 25 to 35 minutes ahead so we weren't exactly sure when to warmup. We ran three or four laps as a warmup before stretching. Although my legs were very tired and tight, the adrenaline was flowing because this was the 1500 (my favorite race) and we were running under the lights. My coach talked to us and told me he wanted to see me run 5:15 although he wasn't sure how I'd be after running the big double on Saturday. The weather was a little chilly but nice so I thought this would be possible.

We had a bit of trouble checking in, for some reason they weren't doing this at the starting line or the finish line, or announcing where they were doing this. We went to check in right before the JV 1500 but the guy was ignoring us so we had to have our teammates do this. It seems like we have this problem a lot although I'm not sure how to fix it, except to have the people organize the meets better.

Since we didn't check in, we weren't sure what the lane assignments were, and it turns out there was none. There wasn't really any options except lane one which I took because although it is the worst lane, it also seems to be my lane. I was having to push another girl over even before the race because she was pushing me off the track. We were allowed to cut in immediately, so of course, as soon as the race began I was cut off. After a bit of shoving and elbowing, I went around the pack and moved up towards the front. I usually start at the back but since I had been doing okay, I was feeling confident that I could run in the front. Not a good idea. Don't change your racing tactics during a race.

I was running in 4th place behind 1st and 2nd who were running a little farther up. I wasn't sure how fast I was going but I was feeling good. Then I crossed the line with two laps to go and realized that I was tired. So incredibly tired. I knew I was in trouble because I immediately fell back and a gap opened up. I tried to close it but my legs just wouldn't move fast. A couple of girls became even with me and I tried to push it. It just wasn't there. The entire lap was like this, my coach knew I was getting slower and he was yelling at me to move up. I was trying so hard but it wasn't working.

The last lap was not good. My racing tactic of a fast lap was gone, all I wanted to do was finish the race. I tried my hardest because I knew that it wasn't going well. I was running as fast as I could but my legs were heavy. With 200m to go, my coach told me to catch some girls that had moved ahead of me so I could score, not like he cares about that anyways. I tried because I didn't want to disappoint him but it wasn't there. With 100m left, all I could do was hope nobody was behind me because I had no more energy.

I crossed the line as someone was saying 5:17, 5:18. I had only cut a second off my time. I'm not sure what place I came in but it didn't really matter. AK came in about 20 seconds after me but that didn't matter either. I felt terrible, not only because I had only improved by a second, been passed by a couple of people, and used bad racing techniques, but I didn't do what my coach told me to do. I had disappointed myself and him, and I'm not sure which was worse.

We ran two laps as a cooldown as my coach watched us from the fence. He made no attempt to talk to us, and judging by my previous experiences with him, he was in a bad mood. I gave him chances to talk to me but I left for home with my dad without talking to my coach. I knew I had disappointed him and I felt bad, my legs had been so tired but I had tried my hardest.

Yesterday, I had an arguement with my mom about whether or not I should go to practice. I had arrived home at 11:00 the night before, had a lot of homework, and was very tired. After a compromise, I agreed to skip practice and make up my Spanish test that I had missed. I felt bad for missing practice, although I realized I needed to. This meant that I had to talk to my coach before school.

I really don't like talking to my coach outside of practices and meets because he sometimes scares me. I was nervous going into his room because all I could think about was the meet the day before. How he reacted though, was different that what I expected. He was in a good mood and told me that I had done a good job at the meet. My coach also compared me to the legend of distance running at my school, which is a huge compliment. He said that I had done a great job running over the winter and that I was the one who improved. That I had done all the hard work and that he was only guiding me along at practices.

This meant so much to me because I knew he meant every word. He doesn't give fake compliments or many compliments at all. I'm not sure how he felt about the meet after I had ran but I think he realized that I was tired and had given it my all. I'm not happy with the meet though, and I want to improve on those results.

1500- 5:18

This was surprising because I thought I was going a lot slower, but I guess I wasn't. It's a PR but it wasn't fun.

RACE REPORT: THE BIG DOUBLE

2009-04-12T15:32:00.016-05:00

I had my third track meet in nine days yesterday. Because one of my teammates was not able to make it, my teammate JS and I were both assigned the biggest and probably the hardest event combination possible. We were going to run both the varsity 3000m and the 1500m. Of course, that made us incredibly not excited for the meet. Some of the best distance running teams in the area were supposed to be there along with the state champion team.

Going into the meet though, it didn't seem that bad. It was supposed to be a beautiful running day- 60 degrees and sunny. I knew the 3000 would only have one heat with about 25 girls in it, which would take a little pressure off me. The track was not in the best shape but it had given me good results before. There was one thing I was worried about however, my coach had talked to JS and I about how whoever did better at doubling up at this meet would probably get the chance to do it again. This was because he was moving another girl down to 800's so we would have a opening for at least one of the 3000 or 1500 spots. To prove myself as the better runner, I would have to finish ahead of JS in both events. I could also beat her in one and finish close behind in another. I hadn't beat JS directly in a race before either. Some of my times this season have beat hers but not when we have raced each other.

Needless to say, I was freaking out a bit, but I thought the meet would go alright. The meet was supposed to begin at 11:00 so I arrived a little before 10:00. The 3000m is the first race so JS and I started warming up at 10:00. The only other people on the track were the other 3000 runners and not many people had arrived yet. We ran four laps as our initial warmup and did some stretching. I didn't have to participate in the team warmup which was nice, but what was not so nice was the bathroom stall's doors which you could see over when standing up. It created a lot of awkward moments but also a lot of laughs. There was also an incident involved a couple of little girls later on which was hilarious.

JS and I ran two more laps around the track before heading over to the starting line to do some more stretching and get ready for the race. At about 10:55, my coach comes over to tell us that he doesn't think the 3000 will be run at 11:00 because they hadn't called to check in yet. We weren't sure what to do so we did a little more stretching. A couple of minutes after 11:00, someone came over the loudspeakers and announced that while the field events are starting now, the running events begin at 12:00.

When they announced this, my prerace schedule was obviously messed up. How much I ate, my warmup and stretching, my preparation for the race was all based on the untrue fact that the race began at 11:00. This made JS and I angry because the little mistake of when the meet started was going to mess up our race. My coach knew this to, and came over to make sure we had heard the announcement. He was angry too, not only because of what it would do to our race, but because we had arrived a whole hour earlier than neccessary. The mistake wasn't his fault, because he only coaches distance, it was our head coach's fault. My coach already does not get along with the head coach because of how he constantly says that we are a team but always overlooks the distance runners. This mixup did not help the relationship. It did seem that most other teams made the same mistake, except the girls from the state champion track team. They really should've announced this before though, when they could see that everyone was warming up too early, so we could've adjusted our warmup earlier.

Since we couldn't just warmup again, we were running the two longest races in the meet afterall, we walked a couple of laps and ran one but I'm not sure it helped. We weren't sure what to do though and I'm not sure the other runners did either.

There were 20-22 girls in the 3000 with only four being JV. Stepping to the starting line, I knew that the top four spots were almost guarenteed to a certain four girls on the same line. The big four were from three different teams and they were all very good. Distance runners all over the state know their names and discuss them in hushed voices when they see them. I was both terrified and honored to be racing them. One of my goals was to make sure they didn't lap me as they were running spectacularly.

Throughout the 3000m, JS and I used our tactic of running together. This helps immensly because although you can ignore the others, you will follow your teammate if they move up. We were using this technique of running together when we passed a girl about halfway through the race. I recognized this girl's name because she is very good in xc which gave me another boost. I also lapped some runners which made me run faster.

With about two laps to go, I was running right in front of JS. I knew that to beat her I was going to have to run even faster so I pushed the pace. With a lap to go, I took off, trying to work on another tactic my coach had talked to us about. He wanted us to have a fast last lap not just the last one hundred meters. We had specifically practiced this on Thursday and I liked the idea of it.

During the last lap of the 3000, I wasn't sure how far behind JS and two other girls were. I didn't want anyone passing me in the last few meters so I went even faster. I finished in 7th place and JS was right behind me in 8th. My coach liked our times but I think he was hoping for a faster race. I had wanted to improve more but I did beat JS. It turned out to only be by a half second which meant that prove myself as better than her, I was going to have to beat her in the 1500m. We couldn't cross the finish line holding hands, as my coach suggested we do in the 3000, I was going to have to be a couple of seconds ahead of her.

I wasn't sure exactly when the 1500 was going to be, but I knew that it was going to be awhile because the meet was going slow. We made sure to eat a lot so we wouldn't get hungry during our race, which had happened slightly because of the delayed 3000m. Our coach advised us on our warmup, just a few laps because we had already did a warmup and cooldown but with lots of stretching. For some reason my legs didn't feel as bad as they usually do after the 3000. I was actually ready to do this. Of course I was nervous because my heat was all varsity and the big four from the 3000m were going to be in my race again.

I received a lane assignment of the inside of lane one. I don't get why I've been getting such bad lanes because it's not by time. We weren't allowed to cut in though until after the straightaway to make sure nobody got cut off. It didn't help that much though once we were off because everyone always cuts each other off, with flying elbows and people getting kicked. After 3/4 lap, when we reached the finish line, I still wasn't in a position that I liked so I had to keep moving up.

Besides JS, there was someone else I really wanted to beat in the race. I met her in middle school although we went to different schools. We've had a sort of friendly rivalry between us and we have both improved this season. With 2.5 laps to go, I was running right beside her, following her every move. My mom told me later that she knew I wasn't going to let her beat me. She was right.

When there was two laps to go, I didn't know how fast I was going or what place I was in. I had noticed though, that I hadn't seen JS throughout the race. It wasn't like I was going to look back but judging by the cheers I knew she wasn't right behind me. I kept moving up, trying to put in a fast lap. I didn't feel the 3000m in my legs but I had to catch more people.

With a lap to go, no more and no less, I started sprinting using the same tactic of a fast last lap. I pushed the pace faster and faster, forgetting all of the miles done earlier in the week. When I came around the last corner there was a girl in orange. As I passed her, I recognized her as the girl who had passed me in the last 100m in the same race on Tuesday. I was not going to let her beat me this time, because she had already gotten her chance to do so earlier in the week. In the last 100m, I recognized one of the girls finishing ahead of me as one of the big four. She is probably the fastest distance runner in my city and I was watching her finish, she was that close. This was simply amazing to me.

During the last 10m of the race, I was passed by a girl. I tried to go faster once this happened but I had nothing left, I had left myself on the track on the previous 11.25 laps. You would think that getting beaten at the line would lessen the good race but it didn't really register. I had finished only three seconds behind a girl whose name is recognized by distance runners all over the state. Of course, she had beaten my by 58 seconds in the 3000m but that was a different race. It astounded me, how her finish was so close to my own.

I placed 6th in the 1500, scoring one point for my team. Besides the big four, the only other person who had beaten me was the girl who had passed me near the line. I had placed in the top third of the varsity runners and beaten JS by three seconds. My coach congratulated both of us and he told me again how much I had improved from last year. He also talked to JS, who was a little upset, and kind of comforted her. He did compliment my finish and told me I just keep getting better at it.

I only did a one lap cooldown and I did it by myself after JS had left. After I left the meet, I realized that I was badly sunburnt. As a redhead, I've had plenty of sunburns and I know what they feel like. I knew during the meet that I was getting sunburnt so I tried to wear a sweatshirt and block the sun , which was only on one side. I didn't want half my face to get burnt and it turns out that I didn't have to worry about that. My whole face is red, as are my ears. The backs of my hands are also burnt which usually doesn't happen, and so are my arms. This would be bad enough, but on my left arm I have a white strip where my watch and LiveSTRONG wristband were at. The red shade hasn't seem to have faded either which would be nice.

I ran the longest two events in the meet and PRed in both but it really doesn't seem as big as it should. I think I need to work on improving in both my events but I'm liking the techniques that I've been using. What I liked about this meet was how I competed in both races, how I compared to the other runners, and how I didn't count on JS to lead us through the race. I learned that I could run too. That although I can run with my teammates, I shouldn't let them dictate how I run my races, because I'm learning how to do it.

3000
Winning- 10:40
JS- 11:46.59 (8th)
Me- 11:46.02 (7th)

The top 5 were all under 11 minutes. Sixth place was 11:41. That's a big gap between them.

1500
Winning- 4:54
JS- 5:22 (8th)
Me- 5:19 (6th)

I just found a website that lists the results of the meet and it listed me as getting 3rd, while ignoring the top three runners in the race. That's fine with me, but they could've spelled my name right while they were at it.

I improved by seven seconds in the 1500 and six seconds in the 3000, which means my 3000m could've been faster. According to my coach's math, I did run the 1500 faster than the 3000. This is somewhat surprising because the 1500 was after the 3000m but the little warmup mixup could've affected it.

RACE REPORT: A FANTASTIC 15

2009-04-09T09:05:00.009-05:00

Sometimes there are days when you amaze even yourself. When you finish a race and you don't need anyone else to tell you how good you did, because you know that it was good. You realize that this was part of what you were training for, and that all the pain and harsh conditions was worth it. That these special moments in running are why you keep on going. It's why you run.

On Tuesday, April 7th, our team had a varsity only track meet about a half an hour away. The bus ride passed uneventfully as I tried to do some homework while speeding down the interstate. I wasn't running the 3000, although two of my teammates were (AK and JS). I was instead running the 4x800 and the 1500. It was going to be my first time doubling up on races this year and it wasn't going to be easy due to the temperature. When we arrived, it was in the 40's, so I actually wished I was running the 3000. I knew the sun would be down and it would get colder which meant the 1500 would be really cold.

After running the team warmup and stretching, I talked a bit with JS and AK, who were warming up for the 3000. I was apparently freaking them out because I kept asking them if they were ready. I wasn't sure when the girl's 4x800 would be ran, because it was a coed meet and we didn't have a schedule. Since two of the girls who would be on my 4x800 team were sprinters, I knew that they probably wouldn't do much of a warmup so I did a few laps on my own. It didn't feel that cold out by the time I was stretching so I decided to run my 800 without any underamour or running tights. Besides, the 3000 runners had 7.5 laps to run and they weren't wearing any extra clothing.

I watched the 3000m, cheering on my teammates, but secretly hoping that they wouldn't beat my last time of 11:52 by that much. I wanted them to do well but not too well which is kind of selfish. AK actually ended up beating JS, which is kind of an upset given how fast JS is, but it was only by a second. Final times for them were 12:02 and 12:03.

I both like and dislike the 4x800. I like how it's a warmup for the 1500 but I don't like how it's an all out sprint for two laps. I also don't like that I had to anchor the relay but that was better than being the first runner. The race went okay, when our third runner got the baton we were in last place and she moved us up one spot. Being in the back was okay with me because then it wouldn't be my fault we did so bad and I'd get the credit if we did good. Kind of selfish reasons again but I also had to deal with the fact that the sprinters didn't like that I was anchoring the relay without having run an 800 that year. I ended up passing another person and moving us up in the race. My coach congratulated me on "getting us back into the race" but I only ran 2:40, the same as the first leg and two seconds slower than the third leg. While running the relay though, I concentrate more on the actually racing part rather than what time I may get.

I had more than an hour wait before I began to even warmup for the 1500, so I did a quick cooldown and began to bundle up. With the sun going down, the temperature was going down fast and sitting down doesn't help either. As my teammates ate all kinds of junk food around me (because their races were done, so polite) I put on more and more layers. By the time I finally began my warmup for the 1500m, I was wearing, along with my uniform, running tights and two pairs of pants, an underamour shirt, a short sleeved shirt, two long sleeved shirts, a sweatshirt, my headband, and my gloves. All this and I was still really cold.

I was running the 1500 with my teammate RB, who I haven't ran a race with yet this year. We ran 4 laps around the track and my warmup made me a little worried. My legs were tired from my previous race, and they had cramped up and tightened with the cold. My feet felt frozen and they were a little numb, which made me wonder how I was going to run almost a mile as fast as I could. I also couldn't find my coach, and we were thinking he might have left and no longer was the "nice" coach. I really needed to know where he was at though and since we didn't know what time the race was at, our warmup was really a guess.

I had calmed myself down a little by the beginning of my race. Although the sky was now dark, the cold wasn't bothering me as much. The stadium lights were on which greatly excited me because one of my favorite things about the 1500, is running under the lights. I was just getting relaxed when we heard the final call for the 1500 (the first call we heard) and they were getting ready for the race while I was still tying the shoelaces of my spikes. I didn't even have time to do strides but I did do some stretching.

We were standing on the starting "waterfall" line in the outside lane (lane 7) when I noticed my coach standing outside the fence next to us. He hadn't left although he didn't talk to us before the race either. I wished RB good luck and then we were off.

During the first 100m, in which everyone sprints and cuts each other off (which I'm used to with xc), the one thing I really noticed was that my ears were cold. I was also wondering when we could cut in because I wasn't listening during the directions, but apparently it was immediately because everyone ran sideways into lane one to step in front of each other.

The first 300m is really a sprint and I didn't really settle in until I realized that we only had three laps left. It seemed so short compared to the 3000m. The second lap felt the longest however and with 2.5 laps to go I was talking to myself, telling myself that this was my race, the one I loved so much. That it was under the lights so it was going to be mine.

Running under the lights gives the race a special atmosphere. The crowd tends to disappear and their cheers are almost background noise. It really gets me in my zone and I can focus on just the ponytails of the girls in front of me. It doesn't make running effortless but sometimes my strength does seem to flow. The lights make it a completely different race.

Crossing the line with two laps to go, I realized that I only had an 800m to run, which I had done earlier. The previous lap was hard for me but I had dropped RB and was closing in on a girl ahead of me. When I passed my coach where we had started, he yelled something at me that stuck with me through the entire race. "You are so much faster than you were last year, so go get that girl". The part about the girl was irrelevant, my coach had just given me a huge compliment during a race. I knew that what he said was true, before he even said it, but hearing him say it made it real. Every time I wanted to slow down, I thought of what he had said and knew that I was going to rock this race. Because, afterall, I was so much faster than I was last year.

On the last lap, I tried picking up the pace because I still hadn't caught the girl ahead of me and I knew there was someone coming up behind me. When I passed my coach, he was on the track and had somehow climbed over the 10ft tall fence. He didn't offer me advice but just gave me encouragement. With 250m to go, a girl passed me. I tried hanging on behind her but she was really moving. With less than 100m, she passed the girl ahead of me who was suddenly very close. And then I knew that I had to get that girl, who had been running ahead of me the whole race. She had been passed once and I was going to make it twice. So I picked up my legs and pushed myself faster. There was no crowd and no other runners except myself and that girl racing to the line. With about 5m to the line, I passed her. At the same time I looked at the electronic timer next to the track. I saw the time of 5:25 and sprinted across the line in 7th place.

I had finished within 100m of the leaders and was in the top half of a varsity meet. But most of all, I had broken 5:30. My unwritten and unofficial goal this season was to break 5:30. I had somehow just done that, and I was estastic. My legs were tired and I needed to sit down, but I was good. I had always thought that being under 5:30 would make you good, and now I had done that. With my final time of 5:26, I had PRed by 10 seconds but accomplished so much more than that.

I ran my two lap cooldown alone, with a smile on my face. I was proving to myself, my team, and my coach that I can run. It was incredibly.....awesome.

My coach was waiting for me as I walked to the bleachers. After looking like he was ready to hug me, he told me that I had done a fantastic job and that I had improved so much. He also said that I had done a great job training over the winter and now it was paying off. He gave me a couple of high fives and couldn't keep the grin off his face. But this time, I didn't need him to like the results, although it did make the experience even better. That race was amazing though, and it was why I ran.

4x800 split- 2:40 (should've been faster)

1500- 5:26 (it felt like a sprint the entire race which somewhat explains the very wonderful result)

RACE REPORT: BREAKING TWELVE

2009-04-06T18:33:00.007-05:00

On Friday April 3rd, I had the honor of running the 3000m at our first outdoor track meet. I've come to terms with the fact that the 3000 is very long compared to every other race, and that I run more than everybody else, in just one race. One good thing about the race though, is that it is the first. This means I get to relax the rest of the meet and eat delicious popcorn because I only have to run one race. It also means that nobody watches it, because it is the first race, and because it is the 3000, and who has the attention span to watch a couple of girls run around the track 7.5 times for over 10 minutes.

We had to be at the track at a ridiculously early time which wasn't a good idea because it was windy, although it was about 50 degrees. During the "team" warmup, my legs were feeling a little tired but okay. After stretching, I held a serious conversation with two of my favorite teammates about running. It was very interesting to hear their views about running but I'll save that for another post.

For our real warmup, I ran a mile with my friend and teammate AK. Besides the usual race nervousness dealing with not only a meet, but it being the first outdoors, and people I know actually being there, I was also nervous about running with her. She's always been faster than me until the beginning of track season this year, and I'm still a little intimidated by her. She looks like a fast runner and has done triathalons before, but she is very nice.

After the warmup and some stretching, we went for our traditional prerace bathroom break. I was waiting for AK outside the bathroom when one of my teammates runs up to me and tells me that they just announced the final call for the 3000. Obviously I freaked out, because it was 4:34 and our race was supposed to begin at 5:00. I still had to get my spikes, do some more stretching, make sure my parents had arrived, check in, find AK, and much more. My coach and teammates were considerably more calm than I or AK was, which helped a lot, because the race was now going to start at 4:45. We didn't officially ever check in for the race, because we couldn't find anybody, but apparently it didn't matter. We also had enough time to get ready because they started it a little later.

I received the right side of lane one for my lane assignment. The only worse position in any race but most of all this race, would be the left side of lane one. In the 3000, you are able to cut in immediately, as long as you don't cut anyone off. So of course, after the race started, I took two steps and was in last place because everyone else just slides in around the corner. That meant, since I was planning on running faster than most of the people ahead of me, that I had to go around a huge group of people in order to make it to the middle pack.

During the race, I ran with pretty much the same 4 or 5 girls. One of them happened to have the same name as me (which usually happens although my name is not that common, it seems to be a runner thing), so it seemed as though everybody was calling my name. Her coach was standing on the side and every time he'd yell at her, he'd say something but usually with her name. While he was saying things, it felt like he was talking to me, so I'd do what he was telling her. It is very motivating to have all these people cheering your name although you don't know half of them.

With about 3.5 laps left, my teammate AK suddenly showed up beside me. She had been running behind me the entire race, and one of my goals was to beat her. This wasn't anything personal, it was just a way of proving to myself that I had improved. She scared me a little though, because she had made of a gap and seemed to be running strong. After a lap though, the two girls I was running with sped up a little, and I stayed directly behind them. AK slipped back a little, because of the faster pace but she had made me more determined to pass these girls.

With two laps left, I knew that I was going to PR. My coach had been yelling at me that I was running a good race, and my watch was confirming that. I still had some running to do however, and I was determined to beat the girls I had been running with, especially the one I shared my name with. With one lap to go, but not a step before the line, I started finishing the race I had began over ten minutes earlier. One girl ahead of me took off even faster and the gap between us quickly grew large. Yet I also took off and I seemingly left the others behind. Sprinting the entire last lap is actually easier when you've done 6.5 laps beforehand.

With half a lap left, I passed a girl who looked like she was struggling. I didn't know this at the time, but I was lapping her. I know I shouldn't enjoy it but because I used to be one of those girls, I do.

I sprinted all out the last 100m although I knew nobody was near me. At the finish line I found out that I had gotten fourth(!) which was awesome. AK finished in fifth, a few seconds behind me. When the person filling out my results on a card was asking me to spell my name though, I couldn't believe it. I had just run a PR 3000m and they were asking me to spell out my name. So I did it the only way I could, two breaths, a letter, and repeat.

My coach congratulated us afterwards and told us our times. He was really proud of both of us, because we had improved so much and we had double scored. After cheering on my fellow distance runners in the 4x800 and having an interesting discussion about clouds, I began my cooldown. During this, an announcer came on the speaker and welcomed everyone to the meet. He talked about a police officer in our city who had been severely injured and named all the teams. Then the national anthem was sung and the meet officially began. Officially began after two races had been run. And I know they were boring and long distance races that nobody watches anyways. This was why my race started early, because the meet officially began at 5:00. I've gotten used to being overlooked, I run cross country which is as overlooked as you can get in high school sports, but this still really bothered me. It was like our races didn't count or something.

I did well at the meet and I enjoyed it although I had to leave early because I had my ACT test the next day. My coach seemed to be happy with us and sometimes that's really all that matters.

Time: 11:52 (PR and improvement by 28 seconds)
Place: 4th

THE RONDE

2009-04-04T22:21:00.003-05:00

I'll keep this short and sweet because I have a long race report to write.

On April 5, I'll share my birthday with one of the greatest cycling races, the Ronde van Vlaanderen. It's my birthday tomorrow, and one of the greatest presents would be if George Hincapie won the Tour of Flanders. He's one of my favorite riders, not because he wins races, but because he works so hard. A win for him would be epic. And since the Ronde is on my birthday, that would be even cooler. I know it's not likely, with Heinrich Haussler, Pozzato, Flecha, and Boonen there, but I can still hope. I'm not sure I can get up that early to watch the race, wherever it is online. Although, I might make an exception because it is one of the greatest race, or I could just watch it on Versus and avoid the internet for most of the day. I am going to watch the race though because it is going to be so incredibly awesome.

VALIDATION

2009-04-02T09:10:00.004-05:00

My dad sent me this video about a week ago. It's a little weird at first but it makes you smile. Enjoy.

RACE REPORT: THE DOME

2009-03-23T18:30:00.004-05:00

So I didn't exactly write a race report for last Monday's track meet. I kept putting it off and now it doesn't make sense to write a full length post analyzing my results. I do however, wish to explain a little about it and why the meet was a mess.

It was 70 degrees outside so of course this would be an indoor meet. It was at the the dome which looks cool to run in but really isn't because the air is very dry.

I was supposed to run the 4x800 and the 1500. Two of my three teammates that were supposed to run in my relay, were sick and didn't come to the meet. This included JS who was also supposed to be in my 1500. Unless they took someone out of another 4x800 I would not get to run the relay. I decided to just run the 1500 because I was worried about how the dry air would affect my running. I was also worried about my 1500 because JS usually paces us. She somehow runs exact or negative splits and I've grown used to her always being there. Running with a teammate is always easier because they motivate you to run harder than you normally would.

I ran my race at around 7:35, more than 4 hours after we had arrived. The wait was terrible and I had lost some of my adrenaline. That, combined with everything else, made it worse. During the race, many of the coaches stood at the same spot so I couldn't hear my coach yelling my splits. All I could hear was people trying to yell over each other which didn't work at all. I didn't know how fast I was going and just adjusted my pace by how I felt. My rhythm just wasn't there either. I was passed right at the line by a girl I had passed a little before in the race. I could feel her coming up behind me but I just couldn't get the energy I needed. I know the strength was there but I just couldn't pick up the pace.

My coach predicted I would run 5:36. When he added up my splits after the race, he found that I had run 5:36. He was pretty proud of himself that he had guessed correctly but he also said that I was going in the right direction. This was a PR by 6 seconds but I think I can do even better, especially once I can get my rhythm going in a race.

MARCH MADNESS

2009-03-19T09:55:00.006-05:00

Not only do I participate in my dad's march madness pool at his work, but 3 years ago, I won the pool and over $30. I mention this as often as possible because I like to remind me dad who hasn't won it before. I haven't won the college football bowl pool but because the NCAA tournament is much more important and more popular, I'm fine with just being the champion in basketball.

I filled out my brackets yesterday and it took me awhile. I have checked them against the AP top 25, my dad's bracket, Obama's bracket, and some genius who correctly predicted last year's final four, championship game, and champion based on a computer model. They are now finalized and although I won't be able to take an extra long lunch break to watch some of the games like some people, I do plan on watching many of them.

Final Four (because I don't want to list them all):

Louisville over Michigan St.
Memphis over UConn
Villinova over Pittsburgh (Duke is and always will be overrated)
UNC over Syracuse

Championship game: Memphis over UNC

NOT EASY

2009-03-17T21:35:00.003-05:00

"It doesn't get easier, you just go faster." -Greg Lemond

(My race report from yesterday's meet is in the process of being typed but this post is about today's run. And how it completely sucked.)

I've always liked that Greg Lemond quote and now I have an excuse to use it. My run backs up the claim he made.

Many of the distance girls have been sick including my fast teammate JS who was also gone for the meet. One of the girls (RB) was back though and she was running on fresher legs than I was. We were told to do 6 miles so I decided to go about 8 minute pace as long as I could beat RB. My legs didn't feel too tired which was surprising and it was really nice out, almost 75 degrees in March. It was a little too warm for a nice run so the weather had some effect on me. It was also St. Patrick's Day which, because I am a redhead and Irish, should have given me extra strength to run with.

The first mile was in 7:52 which was good. RB was a little behind me which was also good. My legs began to get more tired throughout the run but I was at the halfway mark at 23:27. RB was running about 20ft behind me and I wasn't sure how she felt. I knew I shouldn't have been racing her, but I really wanted to beat her, as I usually did, not only because I'm competitive but to show my coach that I was continuing my improvement.

After I turned back, my legs became exhausted. I was fighting every step and not concentrating on my form, which is evident by my almost tripping (again) on a piece of the trail. I couldn't dwell on my embarrassing moment because I was having trouble just moving forward. The urge to walk was strong but I knew I couldn't no matter how hard it became because I had come beyond the giving up hope and walking thing, and RB was closing the gap. I refused to look at my watch until I got to 1.5 left (35:35) but even then I could feel my remaining energy leaving. My legs had become numb, I could hardly lift them up and so it became a step at a time.

The 6th mile was hard. I had passed a few of the 5 mile girls but because I refused to look back, I wasn't sure how far behind RB was (for some reason this still mattered). Running up a hill with about a half mile to go, a sprinter was running the opposite way and passing me, smiling and telling me I was doing a good job. As nice as this was, I felt like smacking her and screaming. I was going as fast as I could yet it felt like I was barely moving. My legs were so very tired and my good form had been gone miles ago.

I reached the parking lot of my school ready to fall to the ground. A quick glance showed me that I had actually increased my gap but I still sprinted, slowly, the last few feet. As soon as I came to the grass, I flopped to the ground and sat, which felt very nice. When my coach asked me how it went, I told him that it was terrible. He seemed genuinely concerned but I had no reason for why it was so hard. My meet shouldn't have had that much effect but neither should the heat. My run just incredibly sucked.

My time for 6 miles was 48:22. The last 3 miles were done in 24:55, more than a minute slower than the first half. I don't have an explanation for why it was so hard, but it was. I may have gotten a lot faster but it's still not easy.

PARIS-NICE

2009-03-15T11:01:00.002-05:00

I have been so busy blogging about my running that I have failed to mention the Paris-Nice. Not that I was able to watch or follow any of it live, but I did check up on the results every now and then.

My thoughts on the race (results) would be as follows:

1. I thought Alberto Contador would win or at least Frank Schleck. Contador had the most emotional encouragement in my view, so I thought that would help him to the top. Plus he's had a lot of wins lately so I didn't think he'd crack. Not a good stage to have a bad day on.

2. Why does the name Luis León Sánchez of the Caisse d'Epargne team, sound so familiar? He didn't look like anybody I remembered until I thought that he was the guy who wore the yellow shoes and won a TdF stage last year. I looked at many photos before I found one that showed his feet, but when I found it, he was wearing the yellow shoes. I have confirmed his identity and found that yes, he won Stage 7 of the 2008 TdF and was wearing yellow shoes.

3. Are the Chavanel brothers the only successful French riders in the peloton?

4. Why is Contador always pointing his finger when he wins? It's getting a bit creepy the way he's continually doing it.

5. Sanchez did a great job winning this race. It's always nice to see somebody else from a different team win every once in awhile.

ANOTHER PR

2009-03-12T21:38:00.005-05:00

Today I flew.

On my 6 mile run there was nobody to push me because some of my teammates weren't able to come to practice. So I had to push myself. I probably should've taken an easy day but my first mile was in 7:34. I fell into my rhythm and hit the halfway mark in 22:29 which is on pace for 45 minutes. My legs made me feel like I was just cruising along and had given me no idea of how fast I was going. Once I figured out that I only had to run 7:50 miles on the way back to get under 46 minutes and that I had the possibility of getting around 45 minutes, which had seemed like my new unreachable number.

My feet felt like they were barely touching the ground in the second half. They were getting a bit tired but my legs felt good. My nose was dripping all over which created a small problem but when I passed some of the girls up a hill on the way back, I forgot about it. I did something uncharacteristic of me, I ran the second half faster in 22:02.

That gives me a time of 44:31. My teammate told me that I had been a beast on my run and I'm inclined to agree. My coach told me I shouldn't have tried to PR but sometimes you don't get the option of choosing. Yes, it was probably stupid and my legs will start to hurt but I had to do it. Sometimes you have to fly.

By the way, my new 6 mile PR is almost 2 minutes less than the previous one. This was also run only a few days after a race, which makes it even better.

SHOWING OFF

2009-03-12T21:09:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, in track practice, my calves hurt. A lot. But not as much as they have before. Which is good.

Most of the boy's and girl's team was doing this pacer test which involved running back and forth across the gym and making it to the line before the beeps which speeded up. My coach gave JS and I the option of running the pacer test or jogging around the gym because we had run about twice as much as everybody else. Guess which one we chose.

Jogging around a gym is even less exciting then you might think, which we realized after a minute or two. We were watching everyone else do the test and we agreed that most of the team, both boys and girls, completely sucked. The top girl made it to level six with 18 more to run before she dropped out. And many of the boys, although I think it was their second time so I'll give them some slack, were terrible. It didn't even look that hard and nobody seemed to be going that fast which made me think that maybe we should try it.

While we were discussing how badly in shape everyone was, our legs were loosening up and feeling better. JS brought up the idea which I had been thinking about, why don't we try to do the pacer test? I told her we should show everyone how to do it and so we jumped in for the second start.

Needless to say, we dominated. Neither JS or I had even discussed the possibility of not finishing the test and we weren't about to give each other the honor of being the final girl. We both ended up being the only girls to finish the pacer test (eight levels and 70 straights altogether) although it was a little harder then it looked. Towards the end, when I could feel Tuesday's race in my legs, we still didn't know how many levels there was altogether. I was hoping there was only a few left and it was confirmed by one of the distance guys that was running next to us (who finished every time) who told us that we were almost done. And thankfully we were, so we got the priviledge of being one of the few to finish.

Our coach didn't say much after that but he was smiling so I think he was glad we decided to run it. He did tell us later that we couldn't do another (although I kind of wanted to do another) but I think he also wanted us to run it at least once to prove something to the sprinters. Which brought up the reason why we ran it in the first place. It should've been an easy day and we didn't have to do it. We chose to do it.

I think the main reason, although there was more than one, is that we wanted to show off. JS and I love racing and the only thing better than racing people you don't know, is racing (and beating) people you do know. We wanted to show that at least some of the girls were good and prove to those same girls that we were better.

It's also because we wanted to race the boys. Ever since I was a little kid, I have loved racing boys because they get so upset when a girl beats them. They still do. JS and I were just as excited to beat them now then when we did years ago. And considering how many of them didn't finish at least one (although some finished them all which I'll give them credit for), we were showing them that yes, there are girls that can still beat them. One of our purposes was to impress both track teams which I think we might've achieved judging by the compliments we later received.

A LITTLE BIT OF GREATNESS: RACE REPORT

2009-03-11T20:56:00.016-05:00

My coach can be a jerk sometimes. I have went through many days where I can't stand him. Many, many days. He's the type of person who makes you feel that he doesn't care about you. He doesn't yell at us but he lets us know that he is very unhappy. I've been told on certain days that we've accomplished nothing or that we just plain suck. He used to expect us to run hard everyday until he began running again over the winter (which has made him a much nicer person and a better coach because he know's what we go through). He does have his good days, which can be very strange, but on those days the workouts seem easier.

Our team, both xc and distance track, do not get a lot of encouragement from him. At meets he wanders around by himself and doesn't talk to us except to yell during the race, if he does that. We don't get pep talks but then again, we also don't get post meet disappointment talks or any other talk. Yet we also don't get "congratulations" or "good jobs" unless we really did extremely well and accomplished something big. And no matter how much you tell yourself after races that you don't care what he says or what he thinks, you do care. His opinion can turn a good day into a bad day or make your good days so much better. His congratulations mean so much more because they are rare. He's not going to give false compliments but he will let you know when you've achieved something great. He is part of the reason that made this meet so special.

We left school around 12:30 and settled in for a nervous, 1:15 hour bus ride. This was a varsity meet, although there were only a few schools we regularly ran against, and it was to be on a 200m indoor track. And lucky me, I, along with my fast teammate JS, received the honor of running the 3000m. That's 15 laps, although it sounds longer than it actually is. I was even more nervous however, since I've only ran one 3000 about two years ago. It was the first meet of the year and a chance to show off how good I had become.

After we arrived at the college where the meet was being held, at around 3:10 JS and I began warming up with some slow laps around the track. We received the news that the state cross country champion was supposed to be in our heat because they weren't splitting us up by time. By the time we agreed on the number of times we would get lapped by her (at least twice), we found out that the heats were now by time so we would be in the second heat. Relief settled upon us but we were still worried about getting lapped because it was, after all, only a 200m track. 3000 meters leaves plenty of time for embarrassment, because if you suck, everyone knows you suck. We left those thoughts behind though once every bit of moisture left our throats. The air was incredibly dry, like all indoor meets, and having a bit of stuffy nose/sore throat, I was worried about it. Everyone had to deal with the same conditions though so that didn't leave me any excuses. I was also unsure on what shoes to wear. I had brought my spikes but following the first meet, whether xc or track, my calves hurt badly and I can't walk without being in pain. My coach told me to just wear my trainers so I ran with my regular shoes that happen to have bright pink shoelaces (others have them too, it's an xc related story).

After some stretching and strides, we headed over to the starting line which was on the opposite side of where you would think it was, so in other words it was a backwards track. We waited for the first heat to finish (state xc champion 10:43, second place 11:35, which meant she not only lapped every single person who ran the 3000m but she lapped others in her own heat twice) and we had those nervous conversations with the other runners that always take place right before a race. Once we stepped onto the track my nervousness went away, as it usually does, because there was no way of getting out of it. The directions were explained to us as we did last minute stretches and then we got ready to go. At this point, when the starter guy told us to "get set" we should've moved forward to another line. None of us did though because no one else did, so there was some stress relieving laughter at our mistake. And then we were off.

JS had somehow decided our goal should be 12:00. I was counting on her to help pace me because my splits are all over the place while she's one of those people who runs exact or negative splits. She knows how to race so I trusted her with the 48 second laps. I was still having trouble believing I could keep up with her because she has always seemed like an unreachable runner although she's a year younger. She believed in me though, so we planned to run together.

Our first lap was 51 seconds (only 14 to go!) which made me finally believe that maybe, just maybe I could keep up with these girls. It was slower than our projected pace and my legs felt pretty good. We had started out in the back, like my coach always tells us to (not that I have a choice most of the time), and since the pace wasn't increasing, we went around the three wide pack. All of a sudden there was only two girls in front of us. Dressed in purple and yellow, they were teammates and seemed to increase the gap with each lap. JS was running good and our laps (which I was still counting down) which my coach was helpfully yelling, were at 49 seconds.

When we had 8 laps left, the race began to feel very long. I couldn't believe we were still not halfway and my legs started to get a twinge of tiredness. I tried to push all these negative thoughts out of my head with the thought of the cyclists I idolize and the recent Paris-Nice ITT. I told myself this was my time trial and that I had to give it all just like those riders did. And then we had seven (7!) laps left and we were over halfway done.

This was when my coach began to yell "you can move up, if you want". This uncharacteristically pleasant shouting threw me off a little but I began noticing that JS and I had actually been decreasing the gap between the front girls and us for awhile. It still seemed we had a ways to go though so I didn't think much about what lay ahead of them.

In the middle of one of the laps, one of the front girls began to fall back. It was slow, hardly noticable, just like JS who was increasing our pace. She caught the girl and all of a sudden I did too. We were running 2-3 which made me think of our jokes before the race with another teammate. We had been saying that "the bell would ring for us" (on the last lap) and that we "were going to finish 1-2" (in our own heat). The possibility of this crossed my mind briefly at this moment but I dismissed it because something extraordinary was happening.....I was lapping people. I was lapping people, people who began the race in front of me, I was a lap ahead of them. And I had been worried about being lapped. I know that when you're being lapped, it is very depressing but lapping someone feels amazing. That feeling became even more amazing when half a lap later, JS moved into the lead.

I was cheering her on in my mind but then I also became aware of what this meant. My teammate also helped me realize this by shouting it at me "1-2, let's go 1-2". My coach thankfully didn't yell it, probably because he was in a state of shock that we were even in this position. I then realized that I had the ability to do something great. JS was doing her part so I had to do mine. We had the chance to make our coach so happy so I was going to do everything possible to achieve the unexpected.

I caught the second place girl with around two laps to go. I ran right beside her until I felt I was wasting energy in the second lane, so I moved slightly behind her. When the bell rang, it rang for JS just as we had joked it would. At this point, I was mentally cheering and throwing up my arms. We were going to do this. There was no way she was going to be caught, and by the way she took off once she heard that bell (on a 40 second lap), she was going to win our heat. She was the 1, now I had to go get that 2.

As soon as I crossed the line, with only one lap to go, I began to sprint. I passed the girl but she didn't try to pass me. She didn't go faster, just kept the same pace. I was hoping she wasn't going to pass me up right at the line and to make sure that wasn't going to happen, I ran. Fast. I gave it my all to get to that line. When JS crossed the line in front, I felt like celebrating. It made me think of pro cycling when one teammate wins and the other also puts his arms up. I couldn't figure out why, because wouldn't you want to be the one to win? At that moment however, I knew why they did that because I felt like doing the same. I left my thoughts of cycling behind as I sprinted the last meters of the race.

I crossed the line 11 seconds later in second place. We had gotten our 1-2 finish. I walked five feet to JS with a big smile on my face where she stood with an equally large smile. We high fived each other and she told me that what we had done was awesome. I didn't care what my time was or about my overall finish. I cared only about our heat, our race, which we had swept.

When JS and I walked over to our coach, he told us how amazing we were. He also told us we had used a good race strategy (slow start and in the back, then slowly passing people) and looked like he wanted to hug us. He was absolutely estastic and so where we.

The rest of the meet (which ended about 4.5 hours after our race) was spent wandering around in a daze. My coach kept coming up to us and making little comments. My favorite was not one making fun of the sprinters but one about JS and I. He came up to us and actually said "you guys are just wandering around in all your awesomeness." I knew then that my coach was incredibly proud of us and his happiness did not diminish all night, not in the cold or because of the sprinters.

Our first indoor meet this year was a great way to start off the season. My coach is still dumbfounded at what we achieved on Tuesday which was probably why he asked us for training suggestions. The race wasn't all about my coach though, it was about what my teammate and I had done over the winter and were now showing off. That small bit of greatness we accomplished has left me wanting more however, and I'm willing to work even harder to get it.

3000m

Time: 12:20

Heat finish: 2nd

Overall finish: 10th

TOUCHING THE FLOOR

2009-03-08T15:14:00.005-05:00

It has been over 2 weeks since I have last posted but in my defense, I have been busy. It started with the week before finals and all the projects that came with it and then the week of finals consists of studying. Plus, I've been having difficulties thinking up topics to write about because my running has been going pretty nicely. Of course, that changed on Friday.

We were given a day off a school and because of our conflicting schedules, our newly nice coach decided to let us run on our own. In retrospect, this was a bad decision. We had a track workout consisting of 16 200's at 45 seconds with varying breaks on Thursday but I thought a 5 mile tempo run on Friday sounded good.

It was beautiful on Friday with temperatures above 50 degrees. This motivated me although I was running by myself. The first half I was struggling with a fast pace, my legs felt good but my stomach didn't. It felt like I was running on empty, but I wasn't. Looking back, I was probably partly dehydrated because I was just getting used to the temperatures. On the way back, I was forced to take two walking breaks before I found my rhythm again.

I was moving steadily, although a bit slowly, when I tripped on the sidewalk about a half mile from my school. I'm still not sure what exactly happened; I know I wasn't watching my feet so I might've been looking back at the traffic to find a place to cross the street or I might've been concentrating on my form. All I do know is that suddenly I was on the ground and had literally rolled into a dirt pile. My first thought was "what the heck just happened?" before standing up and looking around to make sure there were few witnesses to my lapse in gracefullness.

I then assessed my injuries and determined that although my palms were burning, they were only scraped and that the dirt caked to my shirt would come off. The focus of my attention was then on my right leg which had received some road rash. There was a big spot near my knee that was bleeding but my leg didn't hurt until twenty minutes later when it became extremely painful. The rest of me seemed okay so after a walking break where I regained my composure, I ran back so I could get my miles in.

Luckily, I had brought water with me so I could wash my palms and leg off. When I began driving home, I noticed that my right elbow was scraped up, similar to a teammate who tripped and fell on Thursday after coming into contact with a sprinter in lane one. The majority of my injuries was on my leg however, but it didn't look as bad when I cleaned it off.

On Saturday though, I found that both my hips were bruised, with my right one being the worst. I am no longer able to put pressure on my right side or cross my legs. Even an accidental touch to my bruise is painful. And I am sick. A runny nose combined with a shortage of Kleenex and a sore throat does not bode well for my first indoor track meet of the year on Tuesday. I have taken the rainy weekend off however, to rest up and heal in order to be in prime shape for my meet. Hopefully, it will work and I will be feeling better so I can show off what my training has achieved.

FOUR MILES

2009-02-21T14:24:00.000-06:00

On my first real high school track practice I ran 4 miles. Having not trained over the winter, I had also not run over 2 miles consecutively. That run was terrible. I had to walk some of the way and I couldn't believe we still had a week of practice left. I thought of that as a long run but it turns out it wasn't. It took me over 40 minutes and I was exhausted at the end. I had no idea how I was ever going to get through track.

On Thursday I ran 4 miles. I set a new PR in 30:34 even though it felt like I was struggling. My legs didn't feel too bad though with only 16 miles ran so far this week. Besides the PR, there was one more thing that made this run special. The lead runner was me. My faster teammate wasn't there but I would've been able to keep up with her like I have most of the week. With or without her though, I was in the front. I've been in the front before but never by myself. I was running at a faster pace then everybody else on my team. This time, I was the one everyone tried to catch. This fact was not lost on me, as evident by the random smiles on my face. I felt like I had truly made it. I was flying in front. I was the leader of the run.

I didn't realize until I was stretching afterwards that I had run the same exact route when I first started. My running has changed so much since then, and not only in my endurance. I now look the part of a runner and I am good friends with many of my teammates. I now understand that these miles are neccessary for me to succeed. I love running more than ever. I have run miles and miles since that first practice and have worked hard to get where I am now. It hasn't been easy but on Thursday, when I was in the front, I knew it was all worth it.